I met a fantastic man on this website. He lives in Minnesota, I live in Florida. We spent 3 weeks communicating via this website, emails, text messages and finally over face time before we met face to face to solidify the connection and chemistry we already knew we had. Instantly head over heels for each other, our relationship developed at lightening speed. Would this have been possible if he wasn't able and willing to fly down to visit me every weekend? I don't know. BUT, he was and he did and we are seriously nuts about each other. We connect on every level and I'm fortunate and able to relocate as I have no children and nothing to tie me here. Long story short, I am packing up my stuff, loading it on a truck and we are moving in together in 21 days. I'd say 'wish us luck', but we don't need luck....we have love

It will never work unless the two people meet at some point to see if there is any in person chemistry.

it depends on what you expect, want and/or need from the relationship.

g

I don't think it's a matter of "can they work".... I think it's more like "why do you want to make it work" and if both parties want it then it can be the beginning of something, otherwise it can't be something where there was nothing to begin with.

I would travel to meet her the soonest I could so we could see how we click in real life, then, if things went out good, we could keep it online while we are able to be together, but already knowing it works in person too

I think that it could work if both parties are being sincere. If lying and misrepresenting is going on, then no. It's easier to figure that stuff out in person.

I had a 9 year relationship with someone who worked in a different city. There are advantages. You have time to do your own thing without interference. It may be easier to put up with someone else's failings when you don't have to put up with them as much. It's easier to find them cute rather than annoying.

I have. Didn't work. Sometimes we need the physical presence of our partner, when he/she can't be there it's not a good feeling.

I've known a couple of people who have tried long distance on line relationships and heard about others and the common theme is...The fantasy of the Internet romance doesn't translate well to the harsh reality of everyday life.

I personally found they do not work. I find it may be exciting at first, but that dies rather quickly in my experience (which has only been once). The other part is I guess it can work, but would you want more than a telephone to hold?

I never tested the theory. When a long distance relationship became compelling, I turned it in to not-a-long-distance relationship. We're married now; I doubt we would be if I hadn't Taken Steps.

Can you afford to travel to meet in person? Are you willing to eventually relocate? I met my husband online in 2000. I traveled from Ohio to California and stayed about 9 weeks to get to know him and make sure we clicked as well in person as we did online and on the phone. I went back to Ohio for 10 days to attend my best friend's wedding and say my goodbyes. I have been with him in California ever since and we have been quite happy together.

I don't know how any relationship could last or flourish if they haven't met in real life.

I think in summary, you can say that it worked when 2 people knew each other beforehand, knew what the deal is (how much they were compatible physically, mentally, emotionally, their outlook..) and for an ldr, really almost all factors have to be highly compatible for it to be worth it.
The time and distance have to be carefully planned with end in sight.
If it starts as long distance, it is basically a budding friendship /penpals etc etc, the end has to happen soon and naturally like not involving one person uprooting themselves if they weren't planning/open to it, because they actually won't know if this is really a relationship until they have lived together/in proximity because routine habits (the grocery shopping ppl talked about) also might make it or break it.

And the 3rd, it is very stressful on a relationship to put these expectations upfront. There is a certain degree of spontaneity and uncertainty and seeing where everything goes because really is it realistic to talk about that (ok knowing the aim/intention is essential) when things are still in stage 1 (online/long distance)?

PS I have been in an intercontinental(lol) 2 year one so those were my thoughts largely having had to deal with that. And it ended not on account of distance surprisingly, but over other incompatibilities. It started as said because both knew what and why they were going into. And thrived on great memorable experiences in between.

I would not call it a "relationship" until the parties have met and are seeing each other at least semi-regularly. Otherwise they are just pen pals. Or whatever you call it if they are using visual/voice messaging.

I've tried it a few times. Moved and married for one. Lasted 8 years.
Ultimately, almost all relationships fail. Nothing is meant to last forever.

Experience has taught me that long-distance relationships are doomed
to failure. Proceed with caution. Good luck.

i had one for over a yr in my mid 30s it was fine but ultimately very lonely most of the time plus you don't get to do all the mundane boring shit that makes a relationship stronger meals out, cinema, spur of the moment stuff at the end we decided to end it because we could see no matter what neither of us would be able to commit to a move for years i had kids she had just started a 2nd career and would be in uni for 4 yrs good luck though but i`ld be asking the very difficult questions now not putting them off due to early onset love and hope that it will all be fine at some nebulous later date

They can work as long as you are dealing with a set and reasonable time frame.
Example: One person is in college for a couple years.

As far as a open ended or permanent situation, the odds are really low.
Example: One person has a job they love across the country, neither plan on moving.

One real problem is in the conclusion of the time of commitment, person A picks up and moves life as they know it, cutting off all forms of support but one. Person B now has a huge amount of pressure to be person A's everything and person A will tend to resent being to one who had to move. It is overcomplicated and stressful and to much about compatibility is still unknown.

My advice is to just be friends, and if that is working well maybe meet somewhere in the middle to be together in person.

Depends on your definition of work. I was talking to a girl in New Zealand for three years before we called it quits and gave up on being able to afford to meet anytime soon. hell, that's longer than most relationships I hear about in person these days. So it definitely worked for a time but if you can't meet in real life it's not really feasible to hold on to hope forever and keep each other on the phone and computer constantly.

If you're asking if they can work eventually when you do meet, then absolutely, but ideally I wouldn't get super involved with anyone that I didn't think I could meet within the next few months at the most. If it's going to take a year or longer treat like you're good friends and keep getting to know them, flirt all ya like but don't hold your breath.

I have been in two quite awhile back, one of 200 miles and one of 90 miles. The distance was a killer in both instances. Relationships take real time together. Texting and messaging are no way to have a real conversation. No one has face to face or even phone conversations that are anything like messaging. It sucks.

as much as I am a hopeless romantic, only the building blocks can exists until the two actually meet. Everything before them (and probably for a bit after meeting) is conjecture and what we can project of the person, given on their conversation/responses.

YES, you CAN meet great matches on line- - but until that IRL interaction occurs - it is a hope, and a dream.

Still thinking that dreams can come true...

it is working for me . Some times it’s easier to get to know someone before you actually meet . Especially for me , I’m quite shy and sometime less articulate at speaking than writing . First impressions may be less than fair . . It is not hard to tell a persons personality through texting ; pictures accompanying this dialogue, should tell each participant weather it is worth pursuing.

No, tried twice, failed twice. I am sure some people have resolved it but life is too short to be apart. I will never do another one for any, really long time.

I was in a Long Distance Relationship/marriage for 10 years. About 2.5 hours apart. Learned to love both cities.

It is challenging balancing life at times, and takes a lot of work with children who can’t change schools every weekend.

It felt like a first date every Friday. It takes very good communication.

Rambling, I would do it again.

They're always tough. Communication is key, as well as regular visits. And a time limit. Can't go on forever.

I don't do long-distance relationships. It's either solid ground or nothing.