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My friends and I use the terminology of "baby atheists" for atheists who have recently abandoned religion. I find them to sometimes be really angry (understandably) and extremely combative. I was raised atheist so I never had to experience that anger of being lied to and controlled. Has anyone else had this experience? Or know a "baby atheist" like that?

klang72 5 Sep 13
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I was raised in a Catholic family and held onto that belief for many years. From as far back as I can remember, there were things about the religion that didn't add up for me. But I made excuses for the nonsense and always held onto the core beliefs. When I finally accepted the truth and embraced atheism, my main first feeling was that of great relief. Everything fell into place and made sense without my need to make up excuses. I didn't really hold any anger toward anyone or anything. I just felt comfort in the fact that I could finally see the truth.

Hang in there living in Waukesha... according to how your county votes, I imagine it gets lonely being secular there. πŸ˜‰

That's awesome! I wish everyone could have an equally positive experience. I hope lots of people do!

@JohnnyMarsz Lol. Yep, you are absolutely right. The most conservative county in Wisconsin. That's why I need to go to Agnostic.com to find like minded people.

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I grew up in the church but never felt lied to or controlled. I quit going in my early teens and my worldview now for a long time has not included a belief in a literal deity. I don’t remember ever feeling any resentment, and I currently have a positive attitude toward religion, and remain hopeful that they will evolve a greater openness toward science. In this regard the Dalai Lama is a hero.

skado Level 9 Sep 13, 2018
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I think those who were raise in religion but who have (mostly) overcome the beliefs of their upbringings, like myself, are angy, at least underneath it all. For me that anger does manifest itself in active criticisms of organized religion in general, but am especially critical of the Mormon faith in which I was raised.

It is hard not to be resentful of all the time spent, and happiness of childhood taken from us.

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. Especially if you denied yourself experiences or opportunities based on your faith. That would make me livid. Does it get better with time? Or more like something that you always feel?

@klang72 First of all, as children we dont' deny ourselves experiences, but those experiences are denied by our parents and/or church officials.

Yes, it does get better over time, but i don't think the resentments will eer be gone completely. Espeically since three of my siblings are still Mormons. (Two siblings are not).

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That might also reflect the terms under which the individual broke from the faith. Did they simply drift away or was there a build up to some sudden conclusion. I never really had a strong connection, so there's no trauma to recover from, nothing that I rebelled against. For many, the experience appears to be dramatically different.

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. I would imagine it varies based on how much time you put into it, how deep your beliefs were, what opportunities you gave up based on your faith or what you denied yourself, and if you constantly have to answer to a family or friend group who "fears for your soul". I may have missed some things.

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I get your point but it’s important just to meet people where they are. Most of the struggle seems to be dealing with family dynamics... we all know that can be difficult even without religion involved.

Yeah that sounds really challenging. I think people who have to deal with that kind of family issue tend to have a lot more trauma so to speak about their decision to "come out".

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It seems like many of the newer people here are recent converts to atheism and are obsessed with dissing religion. That's mostly all they post about...rants against the church.

Yeah, I wonder if it's just something you need to get out. Maybe people just need to purge all those negative feelings by putting them out into the world.

I've been a strong atheist for nearly half a century (pretty much my entire life) and the more I understand the damage religions does to people, the less tolerant I become for religions. I don't attack "the church" but I do attack the tools and "teachings" of the church (Faith: belief without evidence asserted as "Truth" and a wide swath of church teachings ) I have never encountered anybody ranting against "the church". Guess I'm not looking in those sections of this site?

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I was raised to be theist but figured out religion was BS when I was in early grade school as church "Lessons" did not reflect reality.

I have however been instrumental in de-converting several theists.

Most of them express a great deal of happiness as they are no longer afraid of people their church taught them to fear. The fear of burning in hell forever, having an angry god wishing them so god can judge and condemn them after they die. etc. no longer burden their lives.

However, I know one (a few years after waking from the darkness of faith) who has increased her level of anger as the grim realization of so many years were wasted as a theists; Faith based religion robbed her of so many opportunities, time, and resources. Rather sure this hatred of the evil religion imposed on herself and imposes on others (Her job allows her to observe much evil and suffering as a direct product of religion) will continue as long as she breathes air.

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I call them Born-Again-Atheists. πŸ˜‰ I was one, once. I went through a pretty aggressive anti-theist stage alongside it. That feeling of "Hey, I'm right and everyone else is wrong, and they need to hear about it" eventually faded away and now I'm a pretty chill coexister (that should be a word).

I have used that term, myself. Some find it amusing, others are not so amused.

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Having been brought up in a fundamentalist religion, I became an atheist in my 30s - over 30 years ago. For me it was a gradual intellectual process, with the final leap feeling like jumping off a cliff - very scary. But, once I jumped, I felt extreme relief. I didn't feel angry and combative at all.

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i was less angry and more frustrated. The last few years of my β€œreligious life” I was a non believer but they paid me well to lead their band and they didn’t ask a lot of questions (even though I’m pretty sure the pastor knew. He was funny like that). The frustration came from facing my own hypocrisy because I was leading this thing I really didn’t believe in. When I finally quit I felt a lot better and a lot more at peace.

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Yes, I think it's part of the process. Something has to tick a person off, angering them enough to leave the comfort of religion, and so keeping to that anger is a coping mechanism that keeps them on their trajectory path, propelling the away from the gravitational force of religion and out into the orbit where they can see the bigger picture.

It's during that period of religious rejection, that the previously religious person might have a surge of reading books, searching the internet, and listening to speakers that help them keep the momentum of their exit from religion and into a greater understanding of the role religion plays in society. There is a period of natural rebellion, like a teen/young adult leaving the rules of the house s/he grew up with, and establishing their own life rules that work better for them.

I've never thought about it that way but it makes a lot of sense! And I suppose it's natural when you're learning about things that interest you that you would want to share them with people, even if it's going to piss those people off lol.

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Ironically I have become more anti-religious the longer I am atheist, so I am opposite of the theory.

For my older brother he was really angry initially and has since mellowed and he matches your theory

Myah Level 6 Sep 13, 2018

Oh that's really interesting! It sounds like for you it's less about being angry and more about coming to terms with the dangers of religion? Or do you feel like your anger is growing?

As I become more aware of the damage religions imposes on people and our society, I become increasingly less tolerant of those spewing or even accepting religion. My primary emotional response for the theist is profound pity for them and extreme dislike for the (fact-free) faith based assertions they have been programmed to accept as reality.

@klang72

I would say because I am more aware of the obstacles religion puts up to creating the type of world I want to make. Everything from damaging critical thinking skill, to justifications for sexism and other types of double standards, to being opposed to best practices that shouldn’t even be political like birth control and healthcare, to the tribalistic attitude it perpetuates

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Personally I'm really tired of hierarchies.

@Renickulous no there doesn't "need" to be a hierarchy. Your neural pathways are calcified af and You lack the imagination to understand how anything other than what you know could work. Its not worth arguing with you because you're incapable of thought beyond parroting the few phrases and simple ideas you've learned.

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I think there are a lot of them here on this site. I like you was born without a religion and find some of the extreme views and anger hard to listen to. All my friends are Christians and I love every one of them. They don’t try to convert me and I don’t tell them they are brainwashed....we just accept each other.

Yeah I think it's just different for us. I'm more the way you are with the people around me. I can only imagine how I'd feel if I woke up and realized the people I loved and trusted had been indoctrinating me into something that was negatively impacting my life. I don't blame them.

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I think I can relate to being angry and combative myself, as atheism was merely seen as typical rebellious teen nature in my case and being surrounded by religious in every social circle, being staunch was the only line of defense against religion being shoved down the throat.

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Most people I know aren't even sure. Even the folks who say they are Christian tell me they are not sure. Kinda seems like we are living through an awakening! It's exciting. I don't bash peoples beliefs but it's nice to see people begin to feel comfortable with not knowing. πŸ™‚

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i see some here. i was raised a secular jew so my realization that there were no gods was not traumatic.

g

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I was about as angry as I was when I found out there was no Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, or any other of the hundreds of lies we've been told by countless people.

For me, I long had suspicions due to the many inconsistencies in religion and its texts, and the staggering hypocrisy I witnessed at every turn. When I finally became old enough to freely question and explore, I was able to quit pretending that I believed. Kind of difficult to be an open agnostic or atheist while one still lives at home, attends Christian school, and his dad is a pastor.

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Yep, I went through that phase. Very preachy, I stand by my analysis that by Christian descriptions God is Satan but I've stopped saying it.

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It was a more gradual & fitful process for me--I was raised by fairly open-minded parents & first entertained the concept of no deity by the age of eleven. I guess the experience you describe observing could be likened to knowing someone who has given up cigarettes brandishing photos of nicotine-ravaged lungs.

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How nice of you to call me baby !!!.... I'll rake the win ??? (I am not a baby atheist, far from it....I just cannot pass any opportunity to goof around)

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This site has a few of them

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I'm kind of getting post-baby stage... (Although, I don't actually consider myself an atheist in a philosophical sense.)

I liked the way a different atheist, James Lindsey, called the stage the "throwing stones at the cathedrals" phase. Captures some of the rage and almost violence. I never quite got that angry, but I can now appreciate the appeal.

Oooh, I like that a lot. That really does capture the essence of what I'm talking about. Thank you for sharing.

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I was at some point like that.

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