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You are not responsible for anybody else's happiness.

Jolanta 9 Sep 26
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10 comments

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1

I think as women we are taught this through all channels of society, that we are responsible for our children and also men in general. We have rules to follow in our submissive roles. I'm glad to see women mostly younger women than I fighting for equality again as we did in the 60's & 70's and really pushing the envelope. Al those of the # me too movement are very brave to put it all out there and say no more! Men need to be held accountable for their own actions and not be allowed to blame women for it in any capacity. This is the most important fight I see ahead, we need to take at least 50% of the power away from men and represent our population evenly.

1

I've been saying this for ages. I refuse to have the onus for other people's happiness or mental comfort on me.

1

I'm thinking this statement needs to be made into a cross stitch sampler.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 26, 2018
1

True.

0

I realised today that its possible to be angry and happy at the same time it made me laugh to think of it as if you can't have composite emotions.

1

No we’re not, but we have a duty to ourselves to make ourselves happy. If we are happy then we will make others happy by being around us. Some people may say that it is selfish to make oneself happy but I disagree and I don’t mean when I say this to be self-centred. We must always consider others but not to the exclusion of neglecting ourselves. A lot of women put husbands/partners and children’s needs and happiness ahead of their own and can become like door mats. This can only end badly for everyone and we should always remember to keep our own need to be happy too.

You are spot on there. It is pity that the woman always comes last, after the dog sometimes too.

1

Well a few maybe, but there are limits, for sure!

5

maybe responsibility is the wrong concept here.

it is not our job to ensure anyone's happiness, and that's good, because we can't. it would be an impossible job.

on the other hand we do have responsibilities: not to abuse people, not to sabotage people's rightful attempts to be happy, stuff like that. and beyond our responsibilities, how nice if we can contribute to people's happiness even though we don't have to.

g

Wish I'd said that ... well stated!

@p-nullifidian I am sure you are not the only one.

0

Agreed, if by 'responsibility' we mean accountability or a moral trust. But our goal should, in my opinion, be a net contribution to the happiness of others, as opposed to a net extraction (or depletion) in service of only ourselves. In the words of one of my favorite thinkers, that 'Great Agnostic,' Robert Green Ingersoll:

"Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so."

So, while we may not be 'responsible' for any particular individual's happiness, we can nevertheless be an influence, should they be receptive.

4

That's a good thing to remember, especially when manipulative people are insisting that you ARE.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 26, 2018

...and no one can manipulate you without some of your cooperation.

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