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About 10 years ago in Florida, I was at a barbeque at the home of a good friend, and her husband.We were talking about how we met partners, ect.. She told her side, it was kinda sweet. Nice date at a carnival, classic scenario, kiss goodnight, he tried for more but she said no... Then her husband chimed in... "and it's a good thing she did too." I asked him what he meant and he said that if she's slept with him on the first date they'd never have gotten serious, he wouldn't have married her and have the life they do. This is an atheist man! Not religious at all, mocking of religions in general....

This goes into my thoughts on purity and judgement of women for doing the same things men do. About jealousy and possessiveness. My ex husband also used to stalk me secretly to find out if I was fucking other dudes (I wasnt) and another boyfriend constantly made me feel bad about having multiple sex partners and sex in weird ways before I even met him! He was atheist too.

So this atheist man, with a 20 year marriage, great kid, nice house, and a wonderful woman, would not have had any of that, if she'd not rejected the advances he was making. Oh, he'd have fucked her alright, but he never would have respected or married her!

What Is Up Wit DAT?

Ligeia 4 Jan 31
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35 comments

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0

I think the times they are a changing. Society changes in 10 years and hopefully this guy did with it. He was certainly a hypocrite. I was always pretty liberal but I certainly have changed attitudes about a lot of things. Having a strong willed and thoughtful daughter has helped with my transition to say the least. My wife is a lot more conservative than either of us but she's coming around also.

gearl Level 8 Jan 31, 2018
13

The double standard about sex placed on women today is still alive and well. For some reason, we don't have the license that men do when it comes to having experience, sex on the first date, etc. Not all men feel this way, but a lot do. What I find so funny about this the porn industry is alive and well, showing all types of women fucking at first glance, yet the same men (again, not all men) who watch this want an angel. Fucking hypocrites! I figure all my past experience in bed benefits the man I am with NOW! I personally don't give a crap what he did, or how he learned it; I'm just glad I don't have to teach him!! 😉

13

Just proves the point that Atheism has nothing to do with anything but the non-belief in god(s) and nothing more. Atheist can and do believe in anything, good or bad, true or false, right or wrong, logical or illogical.

9

Men are hypocritical aren't they? I've always been a straight shooter. When I lost my virginity at 18 my boyfriend didn't believe I was a virgin and it was disastrous. Honesty should be on both partners check list. If not you've got the wrong partner. Period.

I am not.

Good thing Rob.

9

Just because someone has developed the critical thinking skills to question the dominant norm of theism doesn't mean they'll use those same skills in other aspects of their lives.

8

My ex wife of 24 years and I slept together about 5 hours after we met, we have two kids together, still very good friends and I do respect her. Not all men are alike, it doesn't matter if you are religious or not, what matters is respecting your partners choices

8

He’s a moron. Women have the right to have sex too. I’ve seen that too often and it’s ridiculous.
I knew this one girl back in the seventies and her husband left her because she’d had premarital sex.

7

I don't have these requirements of women. As long as you don't run around while you're with me, I don't care.

7

I've never understood this mentality. There seems to be some sense, from men and women alike, that sex needs to wait if there's going to be a committed relationship. It's not that these people are necessarily waiting until marriage to have sex, but they often acknowledge some unwritten rule that says, "If you have sex on the first date, it's just a fling." Why? People have weird hangups about sex, and I guess this is one of them, but it doesn't make any sense. (That's not to say that someone couldn't have a general rule not to have casual sex. That seems consistent enough. It's just the idea that "I really like this guy so I'd better not have sex with him too soon" or "I really like this woman, but she put out on the first date so she's not girlfriend material" that throws me.)

6

"A whore in the bedroom"? Why does a sexually adept woman need to be considered a whore? Ugh. Sexist bullshit.......I hate it. Another reason I'm single, I suppose.

5

Sounds like the fella was an idiot.
I don't see anything wrong with sex on the first date. And first date or hundredth you shouldn't be having sex with someone you don't respect, imo.

5

Just because someone is an atheist doesn't mean they can't have a sexist understanding of a woman's sexuality as something they can "own", and a fragile male ego to boot.

5

I can't understand that. When I was dating, I was always a little jealous of the guys that were there before me, but I knew if a woman was desirable, that she would definitely not wait her whole life until I came along. I can't understand what it is about religion that makes them so hung up on women being virgins either.

5

I'm not surprised. This is how society has raised men and some women to think. Now I'm not saying its right. There is no excuse for what your Ex did to you, but for your friend's hubby that is how society has molded him.

5

The old double-standard rears it's ugly head AGAIN. Some things are so ingrained in some people. They pop up when you least expect it, and from whom you'd least expect.

4

Don’t know if the root is biology, Neanderthalism, or religion — or?. For me, if I knew that attitude about somebody early on, I truly would not be interested from there on. I would not want to be with somebody who sees sexuality in a woman as bad unless it is rare - or with only him. Ugh.... and more ugh....

3

Not to generalize, but nothing worthwhile comes easy. The easy women that slept with me on the first date all cheated on me. I can see his point now.

3

what a pile of shit. men are so insecure and potentially a lot more likely to cheat. I believe religion is a way of putting a woman down. .its not relevant at all how many partners or when or how you have sex that keeps people together. you have sex when it feels right. as for the man who tried it on and was happy his partner said no. if he feels that way why did he try? I had an ex-stalk me too.

3

Sounds like the fella was an idiot.
I don't see anything wrong with sex on the first date. And first date or hundredth you shouldn't be having sex with someone you don't respect, imo.

3

Is it double-standard? Or is self-preservation, based on a self-analysis that no woman would choose him, given other choices.

2

Its sad really it seems that a lot of men think they are so valuable that only a woman that is a virgin is worthy of love, respect, marriage and just common human decency. If a woman is attractive and enjoyable to be around then she probably will have some experience sexually. Some men are truly unworthy of a womans love! Even if they have logic enough to figure out that god is a hoax.... They still can be insecure.

2

That is a rather old fashioned idea of not getting serious if she will have sex on the first date. Been married twice and perhaps coincidentally with both women we ended up in bed on the first date. I have a good female friend who told me she always likes to have sex with a guy if he is genuinely interested as early as possible. She wants to find out early on if he is any good in bed. She doesn't want to get too attached and find out that there is a sexual compatibility problem.

2

Life's a bitch.

2

I didn't say "all men" to those who feel I did. I said SOME. But I still believe the double standard Is there.

2

What a double standard! However...I quit dating guys who were too aggressive on a date.

2

I don't think it makes a difference if someone is an atheist or not; people have different views regardless of their backgrounds. Personally I think he's very hypocritical, especially in this day and age. What matters is what two people are like when they are together, not what their history is.

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