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How to message someone on a dating site - [soulmates.theguardian.com]

This is a question that is quite frequently asked in the chatrooms here on Agnostic, so here are some answers 🙂

Jnei 8 Nov 16
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5 comments

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1

And: Most of us use sites like this to communicate. We most often use fake identifiers and email addresses (if we are in any way aware) .. so how can we trust anyone?

I'm in a bar. What is my default goto? .. . "Hello." .. And then the fun begins. Or not.

The online crowd want too much, too fast. too many lonely people.

1

One thing that the author didn't address is how to tell if a message is from a scammer. This is where a good eye for detail comes in handy. Most of my experience comes from OKCupid, partially because I can't be arsed with other sites. I find how people answered the questions, and the explanations of why they answered the way they did quite telling.

Anyhow, scammer grammar often gets verb tenses wrong, the author lists themself as being a single female lesbian when they write you as a single male heterosexual (for example), they tell you they are "god fearing" when you've listed yourself as an atheist, if you do a Google Image Search, you find that they appropriated the photo(s) they're using, etc... I have friends with English as a second, third, or fourth, etc... language, and it's still easy to tell them apart.

One of the things I hate the most is when someone (usually a man) writes something like "Hi beautiful". My profile on OKCupid has an image of me taken with a filter that makes me look like a common representation of a "ghost". It is impossible to tell exactly how I appear... similar responses immediately expose spammers and scammers.

3

This is really good. Yes. Write something that would compel me to write back.

2

I guess I get this wrong.

5

Absolutely this!

That "hover function" is there for a reason. Learn a little about who you are talking to.

Along with sharing yourself - engage them.

And remember to indicate humor with a wink! You can't hear them so you need indicators now and then.?

or 😛

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