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So I went out to our local bar by myself and talked to some of the locals. It was late enough in the evening that they were really loaded. One guy, I had met from before... He has a side gig band..Local talent always interests me so I researched his work previously - there's something to be said for anyone who tries to write their own music. I'm not attracted to him, but I'll talk to anyone at bars as a friend. Hell, I'll tell people straight up if I'll hang as friends or if I have the hots for you. Anyway, he was so loaded when I had talked to him the first time , he didn't remember me. So the next time I see him at that bar, it will be like Groundhog Day and I'll reintroduce myself. I don't drink by the way.. So here is some of what he had to say:

1.) He won't date anyone over 160 pounds. He looked 275+ to me.

2.) A lot of 30-ish-or younger women date older men in their 70's+ for their money.

3.) It's not uncommon for women to start a conversation with, "Are you a man-whore?" As a come-on line..

4.) It's not uncommon for women to start a conversation with, "How much do you make?"

5.) People were confused what the hell I was doing there. Why was I alone? What did I want? They were fascinated.

6.) Everyone gets inebriated . I mean really inebriated They will bare their souls after enough alcohol. Women will tell you are pretty and it was nice to be called beautiful instead of "hot piece of ass" for a bit - even if it was just the 12th drink talking.

My tennis instructor had tried to tell me this wasn't the bar for me. He suggested a more "white collar" one. I think bars are for the music and old-friends time. I don't think they're for finding friends or something more. The real world is scary. I'll be working on myself for a bit.

UrsiMajor 8 Nov 24
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15 comments

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1

Well, as they say. If you don't want to wind up with a drunk, don't shop at 'the drunk store'....

1

In my younger years I would work the ranch or farm, go home to was the smell of sweat, dust and cattle off and hit the bars. I loved the dancing, meeting people, hanging out and all the good things that can happen there. I think I wore the bar out of me then, I hardly ever go to one now

2

In my travels, I have loved going to local bars and as we say here in Oz, Chewin the fat, just talking to some of the old timers and hearing their stories has been fascinating. Yes you do get the odd drunken arsehole, (men and women) but i always have a great time. If I’ve ever felt threatened I have usually spoken to security or align myself with other people in the bar and explain the situation, I’ve usually been taken into the fold and protected. If I ever decide to write a book, I will definitely start in some of the older lesser known “ establishments” and go from there, some very colourful local history and gut busting hilarious anecdotes abound.

2

Not all bars are equal.....Over the years, I've been in some that were lots of fun. Some are really trashy and probably not safe for a female alone. But you can meet all types - that's for sure. And, yes, if you're the sober one and they're all trashed you'll be able to write a book (or a short story maybe). It will be hilarious, I guarantee it.....

1

Should we be memorizing these "pick up" lines? Have fun...enjoy life...there is no "afterlife"

2

I spent more than my fair share of time in dive bars while I was a builder, I go with my guys for a couple of beers after work and then I would split early because nobody wants to see their boss half in the bag. Most of the people in those bars are just bored and lonely, looking for a little comaraderie and something to do with their time.

I think it's hilarious watching my boss get smashed. Remind me to have my cell phone video ready next time.

@UrsiMajor and that's exactly why my guys have never seen me smashed, not even half hot because someone has to be somber when the cops call because one of them needs bailing out. I tie one on about every 5 years or so but never with my crew.

@Surfpirate I guess we are good employees then. Maybe we should swing from a chandelier and shake things up a bit.

@UrsiMajor I hired good people and took care of them like extended family, maybe I was just a good boss.

4

If bars are not your world it won't work for you. It is my world, and probably 90% of the people l have met in friendship (both genders) or for dating, l have met in bars. I find a lot more honesty in bars than the rest of the world. The alcohol tends to make people a little more honest. If you like bars you have to find the one that fits you. Bars are as different from each other as snowflakes are different from each other.

Alcohol is like a truth serum. It's one way to find out how someone really feels.

2

I rarely go to bars though sometimes I would go to clubs to dance. I don’t drink and I don’t care to be around people who have been drinking a little too much. I do like to hear local bands especially if friends play in them so I might bring a friend along and order ginger ale or water.

And ugh. I’ve met a lot of men who judge women on their body type, weight, and general looks. I guess women can be judgy too but I just haven’t heard that kind of thing much from female friends. I for one don’t care about looks or body type.

3

I do this all the time. It is a way to be alone with arms length companionship. I don't go to my bar to hookup so life is good and smoky and silly . Big day yesterday as I defriended my exwife on Facebook so I needed a distraction and my bar always does me right

3

I'll walk in any bar with live music...and walk out if I'm not comfortable with people or 'vibe'. It's always good to know when is time to move on. Seams like you've learned something new

4

Fascinating. Thanks for aptly describing bar culture.

Since I never go to bars, you confirmed my impression of what's it's like to be a single woman surrounded by drunken guys.

Being the only sober person around stoned or drunk people is boring.

@maturin1919

Every time I went to a bar, men accosted and sexually harassed me. As a slender women, men see me as easy to grab.

Excited, I wanted to watch my alma maters (Univ. of Michigan and Univ. of Washington) play in the Rose Bowl. I don't watch TV. So, I chose the classiest bar in Wenatchee, atop a nine-story hotel with a great dining room. Dressed modestly in a long-sleeved dress.

"You are the prettiest woman here," a man said, grabbing me around the waist. "Let go of me!" I replied, pushing him away. He wouldn't let go. He took away my iced tea "to improve it." Probably added a date rape drug.

While he was gone, I asked a nice older couple if I could sit with them, and explained the situation. With him in the room, I couldn't relax .

Afraid he would follow me to my car, I left in the middle of the exciting fourth quarter.

Never again.

"I've been watching you in your backyard," my male, next-door-neighbor said. "You move like a ballerina."

Suddenly he grabbed me and kissed me. "NO!" I yelled, pushing him away hard. "Get off me!" A heavy smoker, he smelled and tasted revolting.

"Don't you want to kiss me?" he asked, surprised. Clearly he had worked up a fantasy in his head. "NO, leave me alone," I replied and quickly walked away.

Feeling unsafe, I felt glad to move away.

I agree, I avoid bars like the plague. I loathe being around inebriated people. I seek thoughtful,intelligent conversations.

@maturin1919

I went to college. Never liked marijuana.

"Wow... man... look at Kathleen go," stoned friends drawled, sprawled and eating anything not nailed down.

@creative51

You're right. I should have reported to the police. Thank you.

0

Where was that bar, Baltimore area?

Annapolis. Yuppy area too.

@UrsiMajor interesting, I would think Annapolis would have a nicer kind of bar.

@UrsiMajor
I use to live there, kids still do.

0

egads. I hate bars. I've played in a country band for over a decade. we play in VFW's and "blue collar" bars. They are filled with drunk assholes.

You probably made the atmosphere bearable with the good music. It was worth it for that.

0

Wow. This guy is a real winner. He probably can’t figure out why he is alone.

I didn't mind talking to him. It was a much-needed eye-opener.

1

Doesn't sound to me like a very pleasant atmosphere.

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