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Anyone have any good funny one-liners?

Cutiebeauty 9 Nov 28
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17 comments

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0

Just applied for a job at the Citroen factory
I sent in 2CVs

1

Your eyes are so beautiful I bet you can see right through them😉

1

Sorry,I'm not that funny?

2

I've decided to not have children; my kids took it pretty hard.

JimG Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
3

Our biggest problem is apathy, and nobody cares.

JimG Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
2

Why does a golfer always have an extra pair of pants with him? In case he gets a hole-in-one.

4

My go to..."I find that hard to swallow".

2

I've come across that smile before..??

1

Why should I go to a music store for a pump organ when I already have one between my legs?

I will delete this on request. 🙂

5

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I am a huge grammar nerd... love it.

3

Jimmy Carr is great for them. One of his that springs to mind is:

I'm a modern man, I have no problem buying tampons for my girlfriend. But apparently they're not a "proper present".

4

I went outside with my garden shears. My neighbour said: it's not what I call cutting hedge technology!

5

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

4

A giraffe walks into a bar and says "High balls are on me!"

1

why has an elephant got 4 feet?

because it would look silly with 6 inches

2

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo

5

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation

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