My Father always treated Christmas as a competition, to give the least possible and get the most possible.
During my first marriage I had very little money at all, (I found out later my late first wife was spending most of our money on "Mary Jane" if you know what I mean), so Christmas presents tended to be small but I hope thoughtful.
My Father at the time sold work wear supplies off a van along with nuts bolts and fasteners.
So that Christmas my brother got a pair of blue sued beetle crushers he had been hassling for and when I too was give a shoe box shaped present along with a maliciously gleeful smile I knew the old fell was up to something. (It brought to mind the year I got a camera he wanted and the years I was given a train set I was not allowed to play with because I would break it).
Sure enough I opened the box and found a pair of steel toe cap work boots he was giving away free as a promotion with purchases over £100, two sizes too big.
I went eyes wide let a big grin come over my face and hugged him enthusiastically, all the time enthusing about "how did you know? Dis C. (my wife) tell you?" and "Wow, this is so great, I'm doing warehouse work at work at the moment and need some “toe tectors” but couldn't afford them. Thanks so much!" and "Great even the right size to fit over my thermal fishermen's socks"
I put them on, walked around all day in them smiling and never missed an opportunity to say thanks again and how great they were.
When we got home that night C. called me all the bastards under the sun, and griped about how she had had to bite her lip all day to stop herself laughing.

A divorce.

Every shirt my grandmother ever bought me. You can throw in birthdays with that to.

I think that shoe inserts would come pretty handy. I like practical presents.

For my birthday, my boyfriend took me to Pendleton Woolen Mill, Oregon. He bought a shirt pattern and plaid wool for me to make him a long-sleeved, plaid shirt. Shocked, I inwardly vowed never to make it.

When I broke up with him, I left the fabric and pattern in his wooden chest.

No gift ever topped that as the worst present ever.

I got some kind of mail organizer thingy you hang on the wall. Totally odd gift.

A video of Freddie Starr, a UK comedian who I don't like and don't think is funny. I sold it on ebay before ever opening it

A worst gift? Hmmm... When you are completely alone, there is no such thing.

I got a leather tool belt...

The birth of my youngest daughter on December 23, 1964.

Post its

Nightgowns...I don't wear nightgowns. When it's cold I want something on my legs. I don't want something close to my legs. Plus, I think they are old fashioned.