My wife's ex was there for her when she needed him. Had to sneak around behind his new wife's back, because she was a jealous bitch, but picked my to-be wife up after surgery and saw to it she was okay. I am grateful to any and all who were / are kind to my wife. She deserves for people to have her back.

I have come to see both why she left him and why he's a good Dad and decent (if a bit clueless) person. In an alternative universe we could have actually been friends, but he's old-school / conservative enough that he would never allow it.

It is good to know that some couples get through these terrible times and recognize each other's human needs.

Huge growth and maturity in both of you and your "new reality" together. That's a good thing for y'all and your kids.

Congrats. ?

This sounds like my ex's and my relationship. Our divorce was amicable. We realized that we made better friends than spouses.

Forgiving isn't about them...it's about you. Glad you have found some peace with this part of your life.

You're fortunate. There are numerous reasons why I could never trust my ex-wife, but the biggest is that she stole from our kids and lied to them constantly. My kids are both adults now. My daughter doesn't speak to her mother, and my son does as infrequently as possible.

Times change. Once the nastiness got past, you were able to like each other again.

I too made an excellent ex-husband. When my ex got into a car accident and nearly died, she stayed in my spare bedroom and my daughter helped take care of her when she needed to leave the hospital. Since she had no insurance they weren't allowing her to stay at the hospital once she was well enough to leave. She wasn't well enough to take care of herself or go back to work. Some people couldn't understand why I'd open up my house to her like that. I didn't hate her, she was in trouble, she was my daughter's mother. Didn't hurt me to be kind to her. I'm glad I did since she has since passed.

You both are fortunate. I have note had any communication with my first wife for well over 20 years. In our marriage, she had a penchant for turning almost any contact into a bitter and painful episode, and I have no desire to re-experience that.

My ex and I went through some nastiness during our first year apart as well. But for the past thirty years we have cooperated in raising our children, sometimes even going on family vacations. I still adore his mother, I often say I kept custody of my mother-in-law. We have been an will always be family. And isn't life so much nicer like that? I am very happy you and your ex have found a better way for yourselves and your family.