Find a common interest, club or group to work around. I “found” duplicate bridge. I made a LOT of friends as a result. Consider reading, bridge photography, dinner, stamp, model railroad, etc. clubs. You should get a return equal to greater than what you invest.

As we get older, it gets harder to make new friends.

All of my hiking partners and friends are married. They spend weekend with their husbands.

I have Democrat compatriots. We meet for marches, demonstrations, voter registration, etc. No real socializing. Most of them are married.

Recently I joined the Cascade Universalist/Unitarian Fellowship. I hope to make new friends there.

I've always had a problem making new friends. After my retirement I tried joining groups with shared interests, but never made any friends. So recently I tried a new tactic: I watch for people in my every day life who I find interesting --and suggest we have coffee or a meal. Sometimes it just doesn't work and nothing comes of it - except a nice time. But I've made several new really good friends this way. (I should add that as a teacher I could lecture to hundreds of people without batting an eye. But that was theater -- I was playing a role. To make friends you have to be yourself.)

First stop trying. I don't mean this hurtfully. In my experience, the harder you look, the fewer the connections you are actually able establish (not true in every circumstsnces). Trying too hard makes one look desparate and is an immediate red flag.

So what do you do? My advice is to join as many groups that you find you have a real experience or interest in. Also, join and participate in a chat room. Be positive, supportive( real, not fained) and have a sense of humor. People love to laugh and people who are able to make them laugh. Be witty, but not obtuse. Gage the crowd and don't go overboard.

If you are not sure of the crowd, hang back (known as lurking, I'm not fond of lurkers in general, but it is a good way to get a feeling for the group, and most people ignore the fact that there are lurkers in the background). Limit your PM's, unless invited directly to PM.

Good luck.

That's a question that I wish that I could figure out. When I was younger I had lot of friends. I made no effort to make them, they were just there. Then I had an over 20 year marriage, during which, I lost contact with my friends and family. My ex didn't like any of them. I have reconnected to some extent, but they are mainly far away in time and space. I'm doing some clubs, but I'm busy with work. I'm not sure what to do either.

I’d say you’re off to a great start; letting down your guard and being honest. And if you’re not surrounded by aggressive bigots ..you’ll likely be safer doing it.

I’ve found attending events (as a participant) of groups you’re interested in can work. Though, with politics as an interest, there’s such an intensity with most folks that a clash is inevitable. Crap, if you’re into DJing ...birding or geology would likely bore you to tears

Ride a bicycle, go on critical mass rides.

Saying that I would go out with you if you lived close doesn't really help you, but It's true (and you know it...lol)?

You know not having so many friends isn't a bad thing. You talk about having known semi redneck or semi racist friends in the past, well that sounded pretty awful, i would find people like that hard to be friends with, where i come from there is a some of that redneck vibe without the racism, and people who i find are narrow minded like that i couldn't be friends with them because i find them so shallow and unitelligent, these are the kind of people that if you have problems, you're best not telling them because they will laugh rather than support, believe me.....Just get looking for intelligent people who have got your back, and if there isn't many of them, well a handful is better than a load of people who are hardly what you are looking for.

Well, you are in a big city...at least comparatively, so there are many ways. You can find people on here that are nearby. You could also try and get out of your comfort zone and try and interact more personally at the events you go to. Finally, what are your interests - find local groups in the niche and start hanging out with them.

Volunteer to help with some charity works, and sports clubs etc. you do not have to be great at it, but you will meet people with shared interests, you will learn new social skills, and most of all, even if you do not meet someone special, you will at least have the knowledge that you have done something useful with the time while you were looking.

the last time i made an effort to find friends i was seven and a half and my family had just that day moved into a new house, and when i say a new house, i mean every house on the block had just been completed and moved into. everyone was new. so i walked around the block, calling up to windows if i saw children's faces in them, asking if they wanted to be my friends. no one did. i got most of the way around the block when i ran into a child slightly younger than myself and she asked me if i liked pets. i said i did. did i have any pets? no, i didn't. well, she did, she said. would i like to come see them? i sure would. i went into her house and up to her room and met her pets: they were all stuffed animals, including a toy cat made of rabbit fur that stank, rather. after that i played with her and her stuffed animals, in her room, often, perhaps every day, until one day she met me at the door and said her mother wouldn't let me come into the house anymore unless i said i loved jesus christ. i told her i couldn't say that. she said i didn't have to mean it, just say it so i could come in and play. i never went into that house again and we were no longer friends. this was not the first friend whose mother stopped our friendship because the friend was catholic and i was jewish, but it was the only friend i had made on my friend search, and it didn't end well. that was my first and last such search.

g

I'm an extrovert but also have difficulty hanging out with people but my problem is a combination of a crazy work schedule and my progeny with her progeny living here.

Between having to be in bed when most people are eating dinner and a cluttered house full of young people, I can't socialize.

So I don't really.

That sounds really sad I think LOL