I can see where you are coming from Mate.
Every year when it would have my daughters birthday I raise a glass of whiskey and dry to her memory and on every anniversary of her passing I light, what I like to call, "The Flame of Remembrance" in the garden I designed and built by hand, the "Flame" burns from sunset to sunrise every January the 7th. without fail, and Yes, the design of the path IS in the shape of the Ancient Egyptian Ankh symbolizing a life never to be forgotten.
It is also made in precise Royal Egyptian Cubit measurements because like me, she too was fascinated with Ancient Egypt.
But as for the tripe of " wishing Happy Birthday in Heaven" that's just woo-woo taken to the max in my opinion.

A rant is always good. Get it off you chest. Sorry about your other family of twatts though.

My brother-in-law was one of the sixteen men in the KC-130 that fell apart over Mississippi. My sister was very careful to honor his parent's wishes, but a few. There were no religious symbols on his headstone. The only reason she didn't have to have a religious service is because they had his funeral in Arlington.

His family still talks about him as if he's watching over them from heaven (even though he was atheist). Many of the families who lost a loved-one that day, still talk about their loved ones as being in a better place.

As far as Brendan was concerned, he didn't care. if they wanted to talk about heaven, that was all fine and dandy. When someone volunteered to pray for him, he response was usually, "I'm sure you've got better things to do with your time." But other than that, he never got that worked up.

He was also a bit of a prankster (which is like saying the Pope is kind of Catholic). So if they were too superstitious, he play on that superstition, subtly, but brilliantly. And he had been known to threaten a good haunting if he died before one of them... I'm always curious if his more superstitious family thinks they're being haunted now.

I'm so sorry for you and your family. Grief is painful, especially with someone so young. And it can really mess up families. That his family still needs to see him "in a better place" means they don't take seriously his position which he never shied away from. He wasn't overt about it, but he didn't hide it either. And that's frustrating that they don't respect who he was, but arguing gets us nowhere. Religion doesn't respect the viewpoints of others, and there's very little that can be done about it.

Sorry for your lost. I understand how you feel about the birthday wishes for your deceased brother. My mother died a year ago and my religious family use Facebook to send her religious wishes for Christmas, birthday, Mother's Day and more. I blocked people post on my page but they still sending me their religious messages by . I just delete their messages.

Your little bro was a family outlier and if your family is anything like mine they try to explain it away and pretend it didn't happen because it really doesn't fit their belief-system.

I left the faith a generation ago and my family STILL thinks I'll get over it, that it's just a little temporary misunderstanding or confusion on my part. I'm sure they'll tell themselves the same things about me if I'm gone (except that I'm the youngest sibling by 10 years and so probably will outlive them all, har-har).

Sorry for yourself loss. I feel your pain. Vent away.

I'm sorry for your lose. I see where your coming from about the birthday in heaven bull shit. I hope making your post makes feel more at ease.

I lost my favorite brother 15 years ago. But I know he wanted me to live a happy life with or without him. I'm sure your brother would want the same for you. So, take a moment to mourn your loss, then move on in happiness.

Very sorry for your loss.
I completely understand being "bugged" by the "happy birthday in heaven" bullshit.

While I know it makes them feel better to believe that garbage, I'm to the point where I no longer care and will, if confronted with it, express my lack of belief.
I'm not going to "go along to get along" anymore.
I don't care if anyone thinks I'm being disrespectful of their feelings. I'm tired of
being disrespected for mine.

That street runs both ways. I'm done trying to "rise above" and "be the bigger person". Fuck that. It just makes it that much easier for them to get away with
their bullshit. It also makes it that much harder to shake off the influence that religion has on everyone's lives.
We make far too many allowances for the believers. I'm done with that.

I'm sorry about your brother. I have dead brother in FB too and it irks me too when people talk to him.

I’m so sorry for your loss. People can be so insensitive and delusional! But I guess they need and cling to their delusion.

My baby brother died in 2016 of brain cancer at the same age of your brother. I recall someone saying to me, in person that ‘at least he’s in a better place.’ I really cannot recall exactly what I said back but when the red fog left my head, the room was silent. Nobody ever said it again!

My oldest brother passed 29 years ago, I still remember him vividly. sorry for the loss.

Sorry you lost your brother. If it makes you feel any better, he can't hear them.