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I'm quite unsettled and I will take any advice anyone has to offer except to tell me not to worry. One year and 3 months ago, my downstairs neighbor was arrested and then committed to a mental hospital. I was just in my kitchen and saw her get out of a car and come into our building.

This woman went from just kind of being an odd old lady to cursing and screaming at people to physical attacking people and shaking broken wine bottles at people. Several people in our condo complex called the police multiple times. It wasn't until she attacked a police officer that they took her away.

I can't believe she's back. This woman has tried to hit me twice, she knocked my sunglasses off after taking a swing at me, she shook a broken wine bottle at me and she swore and yelled at me every time she saw me.

She made me afraid to leave my condo. I was so afraid, I would start a video when I would leave in case she jumped out and attacked me. I live on the 3rd floor and she lives on the 2nd floor, so I have to walk by her door when I leave and return home.

I plan on calling the police if/when I have any negative interaction with her, but I'm worried. I'm afraid. The police and people I worked with just didn't seem to understand the fear I experienced. She was wild and unpredictable. Even if she's on meds now, I'm worried she will go off them and go back to her old ways.

I'm dreading the coming days.

orange_girl 8 Jan 26
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14 comments

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0

Document the time, date and location of every encounter with her and be prepared to defend yourself at all times.

1

Call you HOA or whoever you pay rent to. It is worth inquiring for your peace of mind.

And yes worth speaking to the Police Department. They may be able to discuss it with you as a concerned citizen - I'm not really clear on that. She isn't their patient - there is no confidentiality on this.
I presume your assault is on record with them?

I would recommend carrying mace. (If it's legal in your State). It's one of the quickest ways to break off an assault should it happen. It would make the stairwell impassable for a time - but that's the landlord's problem - and frankly - your safety is first here.
Same with a taser. (As long as they are legal where you are).

Many even look just like a cell phone these days. So you don't have to flaunting that you carry one. And it would give you a feeling of safety.

@orange_girl My wife has served on our HOA board and the problem there, particularly for small / younger associations, is that there seems to be too much of a default to avoiding conflict. When you stop to think of it, there's a certain percentage of people who have mental health issues, and you can multiply the number of people living in your HOA by that percentage and expect roughly that many to be asshats and/or crazy. In our HOA there are 29 homes, roughly 50 people, and sure enough, we have a couple of real doozies who represent 90% of the, shall we say, "sensitive" issues. Sadly, while I urge you to follow through on contacting your HOA, you can't count on them having the balls to stand up to them.

Also, it's a good idea to read your HOA document or covenant and find out what rules this person is violating, if any, and what the process is supposed to be for dealing with that. This will help you hold your board's metaphorical feet to the fire, and to know exactly what to ask them for. Understand that they are unpaid volunteers, and some of this may be virgin territory for them ... but at the same time, be persistent, objective, informed, and calm about it. But persistent -- if in fact there is anything they can do to help you. Again ... check the covenants out ... ask for a copy if you don't have one.

@mordant Really good points.
My HOA can interfere with Police wanting to do business in our area. However there are ways of dealing with both entities.

Both can be made to be accountable. And you have to know what each is responsible for.

0

If you believe she is a danger to yourself, herself, or others then I would HIGHLY recommend you call the non-emergency number to your police and explain the situation and ask what you can do to protect yourself. This should document the issue, which will help you in the future. Also, document every time she is aggressive to you (personally I would call the cops everytime she is aggressive just to have a papertrail).

I would also highly recommend you call your city's crisis number and do the same thing. You need to make as sure as possible that you are safe, and from what I'm seeing she's a problem.

@orange_girl The only other thing I can suggest is to get the media involved. I'm not sure if I would want to do that though.

@orange_girl Keep it up.You are not done documenting. You HAVE to keep documenting. Its part of your protection from legal action should you have to defend yourself. Could also be part of a class action lawsuit if the powers that be do nothing to remedy the situation. Youre not done documenting.

On the practical side of things def get some protection. all the paper trails in the world mean nothing if you let yourself be a victim. Most communities have free classes and social programs on how not to be a victim. have you looked into that at all?

0

That is really frightening

0

>animal shelter>pit bull

@orange_girl For a lightheated break from your woes search youtube for "attack cats" 🙂

1

is there any way you can find out if she is even supposed to be out of the hospital?

meanwhile, if she is legitimately out, it MIGHT be because she has whatever it was that made her behave that way under control. i wouldn't assume she is still violent, but i would definitely check and make sure she is supposed to be out. you might ask the landlady/lord if s/he knows. the local cops should know or be able to find out too.

g

@orange_girl it couldn't hurt!

g

1

Keep some mace or pepper spray on hand. If she steps out of line and attempts to attack you physically again, use it and call the police immediately. But DO NOT physically respond unless she attacks you first.

3

She is probably under heavy meds & has some kind of outpatient counseling. You could try asking the local police, but everyone will be under laws to not reveal much.
If you are a documented victim of hers, they may Have to give you info under safety-for-you guidelines, though, so I hope you reported the incidents.
I would keep an eye & both ears cocked, call 911 at the first tiny sign out-of-controlbehavior! Documentation is Key in these situations. You do no one (her or you) by looking the other way

2

Do you know which one is her illness? Dementia? Consequences of past drug abuse? Chemical imbalance? Has she been always a basket case? Are there kids in the building?
Keep your distance and be ready to defend yourself if necessary.

@orange_girl How old is she?

1

I grew up with a schizophrenic older brother and it was a nightmare.
Contact the county mental health department and report her for any concerns.
Have 911 on speed dial.
Contact the HOA if you have one.
Carry mace.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
PM me if you need any support or advice. If I can help I’ll do my best.

@orange_girl You can’t block them out and they get in your face due to paranoia and delusions.
It’s a horrible disease.
Take care of yourself. Go to a meditation or yoga center to get out of the house and center yourself.
I spent 30years with it and that’s what helped me.
I finally moved from the west to east coast to get away from him.
I know that’s not helpful to note. It’s just the reality of having it in the family.
I also took a women’s boxing class to take out my anger. Being attacked is a big deal for your psyche.
❤️

1

Chances are she doesnt recall her behavior. Stay polite to her when you see her. It is better to have an alliance with her than not. If and when she has a relapse for whatever reason that alliance could help you. Call the police with any concern. They may be numb because a big part of their job is working with people like this.I know I walk around and talk to people that others may avoid.If she was hospitalized that long she did something serious to be held that long

@orange_girl I personally wouldnt want an apology. A mental illness like that is like diabetes or cancer. I am sure she did awful scary things but the thought process that led to that was not her choice or totally in her control.

@orange_girl Yes. 15 months is a very long time.
Could be her family paid for long term treatment though. Don’t freak yourself out.

1

Keep your phone handy in case things go bad.

3

You got the right idea of filming (evidence) and calling the police if you have another violent confrontation with her.

Maybe invest in a long umbrella and carry it with you (even if it's not raining) to use as protection.

2

Forewarned is forearmed. Help her if possible but if she can not be helped, keep your distance from her.

They're in a dilemma - they can't lock dangerous people away until they're sure they're dangerous enough to justify that, and it's a hard thing to judge if they aren't on the receiving end of multiple attacks. When such a person is well, they deserve to be free, but when they're ill, they can be a danger, and we don't have a system well enough designed to intervene at the right times. The few that actually kill tend to go for people who have made friends with then or helped them, and because you know that this individual is dangerous, you should not attempt to befriend her, but continue to do everything you can to avoid encounters with her. Try to carry something with you that can be used as a shield so that you can fend her off without getting into trouble and without harming her. Think up really odd things to say to divert an attack by confusing her, such as, "Sorry, but I can't stop to talk - I've got a radio in the oven which I don't want to overcook." This can buy you a few seconds to get clear.

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