The Power of my Compelling Compels You!
Last night, I was happily painting with a napping bird on my shoulder. When suddenly, a mutha fuckin' HUGE something scampers across my foot.
Oh no, not in THIS house! Demon begone!
I leapt to my feet, the bird rudely awakened and flying in a chaotic holding pattern, screaming "what? what? are we under attack? Should i poop on them?".
Without wasting any time, I engaged the only true defense one has against this unknown crawling foe: I danced the ritual of all my ancestors before me. I stomped my feet, flailed my arms, and sailed high into the air until i landed forcefully and victoriously on my chair. Staring down at the floor beneath me, a cockroach scuttled to the far side of the room.
I was moments away from singing the hymn of the Old Mothers: PanicPanicSomethingTouchedMyFootDon'tMakeMeGoMrMiagiOnYourAssCraneTechniqueAwLordThisIsHowItAllEnds
Thankfully, the bird landed safely on the highest shelf, the villain has been slain by the virtuous might of a nearby shoe, and I am nearly done with my painting.
All is now right in the world.
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Drop the brush... grab the pen and pad... You could be the Next Anne Rice... But do you know cockroaches are afraid of you?
GipsyOfNewSpain
Level 9
Feb 22, 2019
2
You need a highly trained attack cockatiel.
MrBeelzeebubbles
Level 7
Feb 22, 2019
2
Oh, honey. If only you knew how spoiled this crazy feathered toddler was! The only thing she'd attack would be lunch.
@Aware1 yeah, if you want a vicious bastard bird, you'd need to get a sulfur crested cockatoo. I swear, when glue sniffing psycho punks die, they get reincarnated as sulfur cresteds.
Only problem is, it'd probably destroy the cockroach, but take half your kitchen with it.
I am not a fan of cockroaches either! They are so uninvited and show up anyway!
Freedompath
Level 9
Feb 22, 2019
1
I adore the fact the people on this medium can write!
ElusiveMoby
Level 7
Feb 21, 2019
4
You hit a cuco with one stomp or swat, they will play roach possum, and after a second or two, scamper very quickly to the nearest crevice. If you caught the little asshole square the first time, good for you. But if you don't hear the crunch and see the guts, they are still alive and waiting for you to stop paying attention. How do I know this? Oh, I can tell you some stories. For the record, macaws will not fuck with cucos. Cats are another story. And everything is all fun and games until you realize, those little bastards can fly!
zeuser
Level 9
Feb 21, 2019
4
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