I don't understand the difference between amazing and awesome; they seem to be used interchangeably. So I've invented a new word, awesomazing. It covers the bases nicely and is more efficient.

Isn't this post awesomazing? ?

Because you enjoy being misunderstood and/or explaining yourself ( thus derailing any interesting conversation back to "you", or being annoying? WTH?

I can't brain today. I have the dumb.

Mom always said when we sat on the coffee table..........tables are for glasses not for asses

That's swifty!

I also use old terms even my grandma wouldn't use. Like hey that's nifty, woot, and (gasp)

I address everyone with, Sir and Miss.
Doesn't matter if they are older than me. Everyone's Sir or Miss... and if they are younger I like add "little" as a prefix.

Sorry, little miss no I don't want buy $5.00 box of cookies...

Out here in the Aussie Outback we have ones like,
a) "Who stepped on the Vicar?" -meaning that someone has trod in some kind of excrement,
b) "Drier than a dead Nun's teat," - meaning, "I'm bloody thirsty" or "it hasn't rained around here for years,"
c) " Flat out like a lizard drinking," - working very very hard,
d) " He's just a wombat," - i.e. he just eats shoots and leaves,
e) "thick as 2 short Tasmanians," - dumb and stupid,
f) " he/she just had a brain-fart," - expressed a really stupid idea or thought,
g) " spat up against a fence and hatched by the sun," - couldn't have been conceived naturally, etc,
and heaps more as well.