I decided I would give an update for those who are interested. Last week I posted here about a Muslim girl I met online. I asked her out despite her religion, and lets just say it didn't go very well.
I tried to steer the conversation away from religion as much as possible, but she just kept bringing it back. It seemed like she just really wanted to argue about it, and it didn't help that she was even more intelligent than I anticipated. At one point I started talking about my old job and how terrible my boss was, just trying to tell relatable stories, and she shook her head and then asked me if I thought morality was universal or relative... It was as if she just wouldn't allow there to be any common ground between us.
Thanks everyone for the advice anyways, It was greatly appreciated even though the end result wasn't that great!
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13 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I do understand this. I get along with Muslims but usually do not talk anything that would lead to common ground. I would have answered her question about morality though because morality is not universal and some areas have slightly different morality beliefs. This would seem to leave the invisible man totally out of the picture. In so many religions the big failing is to add a god into a mix where none is needed.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Apr 29, 2019
1
I too applaud you. You never really know until you try.
P.S. BTW, so which is it, universal or relative? 
I am kidding.
AtheistReader
Level 7
Apr 22, 2019
0
I would never date a religious person..except maybe someone who followed Thai Buddhist or Native American beliefs.
birdingnut
Level 8
Apr 21, 2019
3
I applaud your openness in meeting with her, one never knows how religious a person is, until one actually meets and discusses.
Religion (or rebellion against) should be covered at the beginning of a relationship, if it's at all important to the people involved. It's good to get an understanding too, of how deeply religion is ingrained in some people, even when they are open enough to meet with people of other religions.
Seems that there should be a common ground, which you were trying to find, that might overshadow a difference in religion.
Julie808
Level 8
Apr 21, 2019
1
I don't know everything you two talked about, but to me a question about morality was not about religion. She could have been seeking common ground between the two of you, and you steered the conversation into something that was all about you. If she were a truly devout Muslim I don't think she would have agreed to go out with you. Sounds like you and she couldn't get on the same wavelength.
citronella
Level 7
Apr 21, 2019
0
Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it. There is some context missing in my post, but I assure you it was very related to religion.I was trying to find common ground, ( who hasn't had a terrible boss or work experience? ) by telling life stories. I didn't get any back.
Was the BJ good?
zesty
Level 7
Apr 21, 2019
3
This is a truly tacky and sexist comment.
@citronella No, it is not at all! Guys like a good BJ. Never met one which declined - and I had quite a representative sample size. How about your experience in this area?
@zesty It's not the sort of question I'd ask in a public forum. Let's leave it at that. I withdraw my sexist comment; I presumed only a man would ask such a juvenile question.
@citronella Thanks. Do I look like a guy? Lol See, I do have my standards of decency. After a dinner with a guy I always pay half the bill. Also, when I turn on a guy, I feel it is my responsibility to provide a release. It is just fair. Due to the fact that I always turn on my guys, it happens all the time. In my view it is immoral to discuss universal morality and not to satisfy a guy. But it is just me.
It was so terrible that I forgot all about it and erased all record it happened, as if it didn't happen at all!
@zesty You might want to keep in mind that not everyone views sex as as casual a topic as salad dressings. And I think the question was by implication disrespectful to the young lady he went out with. Why would you assume she would do something like that?
@citronella Hmm. See, for most people sex is the goal. For people like me it is a great communication tool, fun, exercise and everyday biological necessity. "by implication disrespectful to the young lady"? Why? By the same token, it can be considered very disrespectful not to offer a nice blowjob to a decent guy on the way home after spending an evening with him! Consider this, please before being judgemental. We are all different.
Do you think it had any bearing that she was Muslim or is it just that she was religious and it was important to her? I don't know why you bothered to ask her out at all, what was that all about, if you are an atheist? Was it a point that you tried to score?
Jolanta
Level 9
Apr 21, 2019
1
Based on some things we discussed online I thought that she was going to be more open than she was in real life. She wasn't a hard core Muslim, but it was still a defining characteristic of her life in a way that I can't wrap my head around, let alone explain. She was somewhere between spiritual non-denominational and non fundamentalist practicing Muslim.
Experience is the best teacher. Been there, never with a Muslim though. But I learned that lesson years ago and you should be grateful that she was honest about who she is from the beginning and neither of you were very invested in a relationship that would have been doomed. I don’t give a shit how much common ground you have with someone, if they’re devout you’ll never overcome that. They’ve been brainwashed since they were children. You got lucky this time and I hope you never forget.
Texasplumr
Level 4
Apr 21, 2019
2
I'm a total Rick. I run head first into places I have no business all the time.
Keep learning and growing. Her being intelligent isn't the problem. Her inability to use said intelligence makes here a dogmatic machine. Too bad for her. Walk away and make a life for yourself. Best wishes.
Beowulfsfriend
Level 9
Apr 21, 2019
3
Well, you would have had to talk about it sooner or later so might as well move on before you were too invested. I'm glad you at least made the effort.
Lovemylife1
Level 7
Apr 21, 2019
2
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