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Should we be pissed? I was at a Christian funeral lately and heard a lot of Heaven and Jesus. I feel it would be rude to question their beliefs, so I just go along with the show. Christians have guilted us into compliance, isn't it just as rude to not respect my beliefs? I feel the sense of entitlement they have, many more of them would no doubt spout their nonsense at my funeral even though they know I don't believe it.

Buttercup 8 May 3
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It can be a bit awkward when people talk about beliefs that don't vibe with our own, esp at a funeral. But, you know, everyone's got their way of dealing with loss, and sometimes we just gotta roll with it for the sake of harmony. 🕊️ Santa Paula Cemetery is a good example of a place where people from all walks of life can come together to remember their loved ones, regardless of beliefs. It's all about that mutual respect, right? When it's your turn to kick the bucket (hopefully a looong time from now!), make sure your wishes are clear to those planning your send-off. That way, they can make sure it's a true reflection of you, and not someone else's beliefs being projected.

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In the end, it's all about finding common ground and giving everyone space to grieve in their way.

0

Unless the deceased was your immediate relative then best to just let things slide. It doesn't mean you have to join in on the religious part or participate in prayers but people are mourning and a funeral is probably not the best time to debate religion.

Both of my parents are Christian and are in their late 70's. When they pass, I won't be leading any prayers and if anyone asks me, I will tell them that I don't believe in heaven and it does not comfort me whatsoever in thinking they are in some magical afterlife. But if this were some cousin or aunt I'd try and keep my views more to myself unless someone backed me into a corner.

That's my 2 cents. Have a nice day. 🙂

1

Good point. At a graveside service for a neighbor I knew far better than the preacher laying it on thick … I walked off. Walked to far edge of the cemetery and admired the mountains of our Coast Range.. humming Human Nature, by Michael Jackson. Apparently back at the mini-sermon, most thought I’d become overwhelmed by emotion. Yes, anger ~

Varn Level 8 May 4, 2019
2

You said you attended a Christian funeral, so it was their funeral, their traditions, and their religion, and its not your job to judge or censor them any more than it's their job to check up on you when you're on agnostic.com.

If it was a funeral you arranged, and the person who died had specified no religion at the funeral, then you're in your rights to enforce a religion-free service.

But if you find yourself at a required religious function for whatever reason, simply smile, nod, mumble, "Um-hum..that's nice," and change the subject if someone brings up religion. Then wander off as though you remembered you have to do something. This technique quickly trains religious people to avoid the subject with you.

2

They have not "guilted" me into "compliance" . . . . I had some invite me to their church, although I told them I was not interested, they kept it up, so I am like, "OK, but you will likely regret it." So we go, they sit right in the front pew, and when everyone rose to sing, I stayed seated, un-phased by their social pressure tactics . . . . when we get back, they are like all pissed because I "embarrassed them". So I am like, "No, I did not embarass you, you embarrassed yourselves." These people purposely try to use social pressure, and expect people to cave in to it. They can shove their social pressure up where the sun does not shine as far as I am concerned.

THHA Level 7 May 4, 2019
1

I'm only pissed if they disrespect my beliefs one on one. I'll sit through the services nice and polite if I don't get a chance to say goodbye to them in person before they die - if I do get a chance to say goodbye before they die and it's a religious service I skip it.

I don't go around proudly proclaiming my atheism, but when someone tells me any of the standard feel good tropes I simply state I don't believe that, that I truly believe they're gone for good and I'll never see them again and the only place they'll ever live again is in my heart. Usually they just don't know what to say and that's that. Then we talk football or just B'S about how much we'll miss them.

1of5 Level 8 May 4, 2019
1

I still think about the teaching that "heaven" is only 1500 miles/kilometers cubed and that from what I have observed of christian behavior and read on its books people descriptions. I think a google to the google to the google, sorry I am a math guy, would be too close to many of them if they are talking eternity.

2

I go to churches fairly often - organ recitals, choiral societies, to admire the architecture and occasional services as cathedrals around the UK have some of the greatest choirs in the world and in a service you can hear a recital for free ... I don't have a problem in sitting alongside christians, muslims, hindus etc and smiling quietly. I do not kneel, pray, sing along to hymns or close my eyes at appropriate times .. just let events wash by me.
I do often find words from dark side of the moon push into my mind
Far away across the fields
the tolling of the iron bell
calls the faithful to their knees
to hear the sotly spoken magic spells

should photo a church and get this text with it onto a t shirt - it could become my 'service' shirt

5

As long as believers are in the majority, that entitlement will exist. Yes it's rude.

You can decide in advance that you don't want a Christian funeral. I'm donating my organs, and the rest of me is going to science.

I mentioned this to a lovely Christian friend of mine (whom I'm sure I'll convert soon enough). She said if I donate my organs I may come back in my next life without a brain. I really couldn't help myself at this point when I asked if that's what happened to her.

Then I also had to remind her that reincarnation is not consistent with the Christian faith.

So whoever you donated your organ(s) gets to keep them. Does that mean they get two when they are restored to them in heaven or does that mean the organ that got removed isn't restored to them and doesn't go to heaven or is it a trade in, you get their old one and they keep yours. Ahh, religious logic.

@Buttercup

I don't know... but no doubt if I asked her that she'd have all the answers using infinitesimal detail!

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