I can sort of get on board with that. When my girlfriend killed herself, I told people there is a hell, and if you're standing within 6 feet of me, you're in it too!

@Stilltrying1964 I have a VERY hard time forgiving suicide. I would never do that to anybody. And I would loathe anybody who did it to me. That person would simply not deserve me...or be good enough for me.

@mischl my girlfriend was going thru a lot. She had survived colon cancer long before we met. Her husband died of lung cancer and she had survivor's guilt. She moved herself and her challenged brother here from jersey. She was overwhelmed trying to take care of him. I helped her with him extensively. She missed her friends back home, and her scumbag sister that already lived here ripped her off like crazy (oxy addict). I believe her colon cancer was returning and she just didn't want to go thru it again. So, one night after making love, she suggested I go back to an old girlfriend. Well I was in love with her and so I was upset at that suggestion so I went home. She drove herself into the lake across the street from her house and I found her the next day at 6 pm. You think I should loathe her? What a dumb fucking thing to say. I still miss her.

@Stilltrying1964 ,
i believe it takes more courage to kill oneself than it does to just exist in misery.
there is a quality of life level that i don't see any point of sinking below.

@Stilltrying1964 Well, yeah, I agree with you. It was a dumb thing to say. Sorry. But I was overwhelmed by the senseless suicide of a friend, so I guess I have a pretty short fuse in that department. If I were going to self-deliver because of unending and unbearable pain, I would want to make my loved ones part of the decision.

@mischl that I agree with. The shock of her being here today and gone tomorrow was staggeringly painful. I cried every day for 18 months.

@mischl my late husband was in more pain with adenocarcinoma than I'd ever seen anyone in my entire life. He admitted several times he'd thought about checking out but suffered through it (needlessly!) I'm certain to not negate policies in his wake. Oh how he suffered.
I've warned my daughter I can't do that if my cognition or am in that level of pain.
We do not owe anyone our bodies.

One thing my late dh said that stopped him short of taking both his Dad (who was also dying of cancer) & himself was "I didn't want to steal anyone's goodbyes".
Surely there was a better way than to endure unending horrific pain.

My daughter died in a car wreck, my son died a few months later of a massive heart attack, and my wife died a few months after that from cancer.
I lost my leg a couple years ago (through the knee amputation), and just had my knee removed about three weeks ago.

@jimmie3286 Man, that's a lot. I hope sharing that info helps to cope with the pain.