I usually avoid the self help shit on FB, but there is some good truths here. I do think that the hardest part of changing/ moving forward/ finding yourself / whatever, is getting rid of the ICK that has been dumped on us. It's NOT about grabbing on to every new thing you encounter.
Getting rid of the ICK creates voids/ openings where new ideas/ concepts/tolerance/ changes can get a foot hold and grow.
The EZ part is allowing the changes in. They should come naturally. The HARD part is getting rid of the ICK, as that is where the power is. The Exes/ The Influencers/ Family/ Shitty "Friends", are giving you more ICK while you are trying to get out from under the Old ICK! ! My Mom who has dumped so much ICK onto our family is still at it....at age 93. It's who she is. Won't change, doesn't even see a problem . Oh well. We' haven't had a real relationship since , oh IDK....when I was teen(?), if ever. Too much ICK. Anyway she is but one example of the ICK givers who will always be there.
The other ICK givers......well let's start a list!
15
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That ‘rings true,’ from my experience!!! On that ‘mom thing,’ that seems to keep us under toe...long after it has any safety value. Growing up seemed quick...growing away from mom’s grip, took a lifetime!
Freedompath
Level 9
June 16, 2019
1
When you start liking yourself, learn to love one's self!
Then, maybe then you may or will start to find you or what you truly are!
of-the-mountain
Level 9
June 16, 2019
1
I do agree with that, but we also create ourselves. I'm not the same person I was at 19, or even 40. My core is still the same, but I have refined myself, and in many ways recreated myself. I shed much of the teaching of my youth that was holding me back. Life is a process of metamorphosis.
HippieChick58
Level 9
June 16, 2019
1
As we mature, most people do begin the process of eliminating stressful situations and stressful toxic people, reduce drama in our lives, realize that material things cannot truly make us happy.
I have riddled down my family members and friendships. If they don't give me joy, or enjoyment of their company, if the show lack of respect, and don't respect personsal boundaries then they are off my list.
Most of my life is behind me, looking back at the time wasted spending it with people who did nothing but cause pain and stress; makes me a bit sad for those wasted years. I truly wished I'd realized this 50 years ago!
Katsarecool
Level 7
June 16, 2019
4
I never understand why people blame others for their own unfulfillment!
Geoffrey51
Level 8
June 16, 2019
3
They judge themselves by how others effect them emotionally. I have found that people who hold me hostage by my emotions, are tapping unresolved conflicts within myself. Once I heal my broken places, I only feel sad, concerned and sometimes angry by others behaviors. Their power is lost on me!
Exactly Geoffrey. I really get tired of that shit.
What is ick and where can I find it at the grocery?
indirect76
Level 7
June 16, 2019
2
"You must unlearn what you have learned" once a Jedi master said.
greyeyed123
Level 7
June 16, 2019
3
Not a whole lot of people know this, but the main idea of Zen meditation is exactly that: Discovering who you are and what you are at the deepest levels of your being without all the masks and delusions created by your conscious mind. It got to be such a big deal in my life that I wrote a book about it. (The title is "Original Zen" on amazon. If I knew how, I'd put a link to it here.) Amazon charges 13 bucks for it, but if I were wealthy I'd happily give a free copy to anyone who is interested.
mischl
Level 8
June 16, 2019
7
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Yep, this makes a lot of sense ... we don't "find" ourselves ... we already HAVE ourselves. We may have been taught that we are trash ... we can unlearn that bad lesson..
SKH78
Level 8
June 16, 2019
5
I know I have learned, or formed, some very negative ideas, attitudes, or views of myself and the world which I'd like to change. I hope that kind of change is a real and definite possibility.
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