I dunno... what makes a post a "discussion group"? Maybe I'm doing it wrong

Agree. And nothing in posing the question supplants that ideal.

@batscradle Agree.

@MrLizard

I didn't say monogamy was stupid.

At all. Why did you read it that way?

I said being accused of things you aren't doing is stupid. Like trying to hang out with a friend and yet a jealous partner accuses you of doing things you aren't. That is stupid.

A thorough and well-stated response, informative. Thank you.

@Sciencemama re: monogamy's "stupid", I did not read your original comment that way at all.

@MrLizard oh. Ok. Cool. Sometimes I am not writing as clear as I should be. Thanks for clarifying for me.

Yeah, I hear you. Was just covering terminology that gets interchanged sometimes, trying to get at how that distorts perceptions. To some (religious or not), polyamory is just a word invented to make swinging sound more respectable, swinging is hedonistic (with a negative connotation implied), and hedonism is all about being sexually promiscuous. And yea verily, all shall burn in the pit of eternal damnation. Or at the very least, be snubbed at the neighborhood block party.

"Why can't we go on as three?" --David Crosby

Can't be beat for simplicity!

Your opinion matters, comments welcome!

As in "ready, set... discuss!" An attempt at levity.

erm whatever floats your boat i guess

Awesome screen name

To clarify: discuss the practical distinctions between the lifestyle ("swinging" ), polyamory, and hedonism, and what distinguishes such concepts from vanilla promiscuity, i.e. multiple consenting sexual partners. This is not a judgment-baiting exercise; I'm sincerely interested in hearing opinions.

Hedonism for me is the umbrella covering all of the other concepts in a spectrum. Yes, there may be some overlap.

Promiscuous just describes someone who is more casual about making a relationship and having sex. It doesn't have to mean someone who literally hops from bed to bed with no consideration at all (though that does fit here). It can mean someone who is a serial monogamist. I wish it meant someone who was indiscriminate in their choice of partners as that fits the literal definition, and where I feel the word wants to be, better than we use it in day to day life. Which is why my definition is a bit loose, our use is that loose (no pun in tended). Note: I really don't like calling people "promiscuous" just because they are not virgins OR because they tried to have a relationship and failed. I think this is misuse of the term. Again, it should refer to someone who is very focused on sex, enjoys it a lot and is maybe a wee bit indiscriminate, or risky, about how they go about it.

Polyamory is someone who is in a large, committed relationship OR one that is open BUT has a committed core group. That committed core group is the key to this. I knew a gal who was in a poly-amorous relationship which included two women and a guy and was open. Though, as seems often the case with 'open' relationships I have no reason to believe she ever went outside of the relationship for sex (beyond some cyber sex, does that count?). Thus, to me, polyamory is either a committed relationship of more than two people which might include being 'open' in the sense that new partners can be brought in for a night of fun... and stay or leave. Is someone who is poly amorous necessarily promiscuous? Nope. Imagine a committed trio, or quad, of people. They might be very happy with a minimal amount of sex, being a closed system we could argue there is emotional and health safety here. Being open, with in the group, it's not really swinging, it's just being with a different committed partner.

Swinging, in my (granted, strictly vicarious) experience, reading, etc, is the case of couples, in committed relationships, who swap partners. This can also be in the form of a group of couples who meet on a regular basis to have parties. These parties can run the gamut of couples mixing and matching and heading off to separate rooms in pairs, or can be a pit of bodies having fun in the middle of the living room... note: that includes both. You might have some that are more 'shy' than others and ONLY do the couples thing in a side room or who prefer one gender and not another or any combination you prefer to think of.

As far as hedonism goes, it can be any pleasure: food, drink, sex, art, bubbles, you name it. And I think it is a spectrum. Any of the other categories can be VERY hedonistic (the pit of bodies, for example) or lightly hedonistic (couples only, or serial monogamist as a 'promiscuous' person).

Understood, and why polygamy/polyandry was not part of the original question.