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Is it harder for women to get a date or for men?

UrsiMajor 8 Mar 16

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Unfortunately, looks has a lot to do with how easy it is to get a date regardless of your sex.

I don't care how attractive a woman is... if she has no integrity, I won't want anything to do with her.

@OnaM Not me, Ona. I don't go by looks, but most others do.


It isn't hard for anyone if you set your standards low enough.

zeuser Level 9 Mar 16, 2018


Yep, I could have a lot of husbands if I just provided that wonderful Green Card. Could also find a man who wants a Sugar Mommy so she can support him. Yep - just lower your standards, lol.

@SusanHilde Thanks, you're helping prove my point that women do not go around craving to have sex like men do. At any moment, most any man would dearly love to have sex with any one of many women if he could. That's not true of women.


Men by far! A bunch of shitty guys have made it difficult for the nice guys. Especially on online dating. You can tell this from the disclaimers on many women's profiles.

That is absolutely true.


It's harder for men. Women are always being asked and get to choose. Guys have to send out those messages, and most of the time, do not get a reply back.


Much easier for women to get a date, harder to get the dates they want, like all of us.

@Ella Exactly. Even I can get dates, just not with people that interest me. For women, multiply that by 100.


I think it's much easier for women to get dates. It doesn't mean they are quality though.


Damn, it's next to impossible for me to get a date and have not had one in 15 years. I do admit that I really do not try, so it is probably my own fault.


Harder for the male.

@SACatWalker What, like dinner?


It depends! It depends on your location, your age, your wants from another, your personality and on and on. For me it is difficult especially since I sort of have outgrown "dates" (except the eating kind). For now finding a friend outside of my community is very difficult. For my late partner, she would have guys lined up around the block, but, boy would she be picky (she could afford to do so). Individual personality has a lot to do with this question.


If I were a outgoing as I would be childsplay. imho


I'd say men because even though I struggle to I know I've even curbed plenty of men


Interesting that a lot of people are convinced the other sex has it easier. I don't think either side has an advantage. As for me, I go through periods where I get dates, I get annoyed and run out of the proverbial rats' asses to give, then I go back to just doing my thing and end up with more date offers and I figure a.) I like myself too much to let someone else bolster their ego by highlighting all of my physical and personality flaws. 2.) I need to accept that the freedom to be weird comes with its tradeoffs. Maybe being alone when it comes to relationships is one of them.


I'm not sure it's a gender issue. I see a lot of people of any gender identity who seem to get dates easily, and I see others who can't seem to land a date no matter what they do. I think it comes down to personality traits more than gender roles. Appearance plays a role, certainly, but that doesn't seem to be the most important factor.


I believe it is Harder for Men, especially in a religious society where the social norm is for men to do the asking and the persuing though that is gradually changing.


I think it is harder for men. My female BFF gets messaged all the time, not that she's interested in most of the men who message her...

Many people have crappy profiles. It's not written well, has spelling and grammatical mistakes, etc. I wouldn't date anyone who couldn't write a decent profile. The pictures are also important. Have a friend take some, compose them well, have a decent background. I assume people put their most flattering pictures on a profile and the best one first.

Maybe that's where I went wrong-lousy pics.


Define date. Ultimately it's up to women to choose to go out with us. Us men only try and peddle our wares in hopes that you will accept us. 🙂

From a woman's perspective, many men are "peddling their wares" a little too hard, in that their attempts at marketing often make them look unappealing. For instance, in an online forum, many men will not fill in profile details (making it impossible to see what kind of person they may be), and direct contact will often start with discussions of sex. I know a lot of women who are extremely willing to date someone, but all of the people who have been in contact have been like I just described, and worse.

Are you implying that my profile is too sparse? lol. I'm a man of mystery. J/K. Give me time. As far as sex and sexuality goes. Sex is better with a mental bond with your mate. Foreplay isn't just kissing and touching, it's sharing like interests and a sense of humor.


It seems all a woman has to do is say yes.

What disappoints me is the quality of women looking for a date. Around here most women want you to ride a harley (I'm a Ducati man myself or BMW), have a well paying job and a really nice car, so she can ride your harley, spend your money and drive your really nice car. They bring nothing to the table other than arm candy or sex.
Sometimes I want to live in a cave and be a hermit rather than wasting my time wading through their ilk trying to find a diamond in a world of trash.


This is just my observation, but if you are willing to do the job, even if you're not fully qualified, people will hire you.
I think people get the number of dates they actually (subconsciously) want.

Due to my male nature, I put out rejection vibes constantly, so men who successfully date me make friends with me first, then after we're good hiking and dancing partners, gradually bring romance into it. Also, they don't take rejection personally.

@arronpaul46 Hey, if someone wants to go extreme birding with me, or loves to ballroom/jitterbug dance, I will probably date them, LOL!

@arronpaul46 The difference between line dancing and ballroom is that in line dancing people dance in rows, all doing steps to predetermined choreography, but in ballroom dance, the man leads the woman through any number of dance step possibilities, based on the music genre and beat.

Also, I am an extreme bird and wildlife photographer, meaning that I climb cliffs, wade in swamps, hike mountains, scale cliffs, etc in search of perfect camera shots, moving silently, sneaking up on the animals and birds, and usually alone.

I'm not a bird hunter, who would shoot them. I'm not sure which group you were referring to. I would never date any one who enjoyed killing animals.

@arronpaul46 I remember it from when I went dancing in Lexington, KY, bars, but people doing couples line dancing are still doing choreography steps, all pre-planned, and to country music (Ew!). They are using ballroom dance moves, but in a memorized manner.

It's to help redneck types who would likely think ballroom dance too highfalutin for them, and women often wear denim pants or skirts with cowboy boots.

Because I love to dance so much, I did it briefly until I found places I could do actual ballroom and jitterbug dancing, without the denim and country music, although doing the "two step" is fun..also stolen from the ballroom foxtrot.


I think it is more difficult for women. I could be wrong. That has been my experience. But it depends on where you are. When I took a trip to Egypt, I got lots of offers for dates. Being middle aged and plump - makes no difference, the dudes love American women (they also love Green Cards.)

SKH78 Level 8 Mar 16, 2018

a meaningful one would be females who have a tough tme


Harder for men. Because a woman can always get a man. Men have a hard time because they have to make a lot of money, be tall, and be handsome. They don't say tall dark and handsome for nothing.


Impossible if you're me. Kidding, but seriously...


With a money box you can get as many teapots as you want if you don't care about the quality.


I don't know what the answer is. I was on a couple dating sites for 2 or 3 months, had a few message exchanges, a couple phone conversations; but, even though those seemed, to me at least, to have gone reasonably well, nothing came of them. Many, most really, of the women who initiated contact with me were fairly obviously not good matches; it was like they didn't even read my profile. And several were older, most christian.


This is a really good question. I've been on a few dating sites and managed a couple of dates and one led to a six month fling that was most enjoyable but most women, not on here I hasten to add, have a list of prerequisites as long as your arm that nobody can possibly meet....unless you're good looking and over a certain height!

I'm also not entirely sure if I'm available or not. And I don't mean I'm daft or shacked up with someone but I like to think I'm open to having a relationship but am I, I don't ask, I don't look, I like my privacy and my marriage ended after getting a good kick in (both metophorically and actually) so maybe I'm not as available as I think, I may just give off a vibe....I don;t honestly know.

I'm also assuming that women generally don't think I look like a gargoyle but then one can and does fancy the oddest people so who knows lol 🙂

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