Selfishness sometimes takes the form of believing that whoever is in your inner circle is "saved", and it is further justification of the extreme views people foster. It is a form of bias where those who are most familiar to you, with whom you have the most in common with somehow land in this privileged category, where they will somehow gain eternal life, whereas those with whom you do not have things in common with are free to go to hell with your blessing. This occurs on a small scale in religious families, and on a large scale, between cultures, societies and countries. But in all cases, I see it as evil, because this type of thinking is why we have cast off family members, those who do not fit into the preordained mold that was set in stone for them, on the small scale . . . . . and the droning, bombing, house bulldozing, land stealing, economic imperialism on the world scale. If your family members cannot accept you as you are, they are with the crowd mentioned above. It is that simple.

There are many things you don't tell people. Be respectful and go your own way. I go to family outings in which they pray before eating. I just sit silently and watch them do their thing.

I ask myself whether it's important for them to know and why I want them to know. I typically do not simply share personal things unless I'm close to the person or they have directly asked or made a rewuest. I did tell my mother years ago but at 89 she doesn't remember.

One of my mates once asked me whether he should or not tell his father about his homosexual proclivities. The guy was in his 40's and his father in his 80's. Why bother? I never told my father that I have a preference for Asian women.

It would be her choice to be hurt and worried - if she even is. You're making an assumption about her, which could be inaccurate.
Be true to yourself.

It must be hard to keep a part of yourself private from someone you're very close to. I think being afraid of their negative opinion of me magnified my fear of telling some of my family, but I finally decided that if they were ready to hear it, they would ask me, and that worked out well. Some have chosen to overlook what I think is very obvious, and it's not my responsibility to make them accept something that will hurt them. Is there a particular reason you feel you must "come out" with her?

If you don't believe in it, you can't help it. You simply don't believe in it. And you don't want to be a hypocrite or liar.

Today everyone wants to "come out" about something. It's the nature of social media. Consider that you do not have to tell anyone anything. It's all strictly up to you.

"OMG, jeran. You never told me that you were a billontnaire."

Why make it a weapon to upset people? Especially old set-in-their-ways people? Keep a low profile so you show them the respect for their beliefs, even if they try to deny yours...

Don’t tell her...unless it comes up directly in conversation with her.

Me too!

then don't, it's nobody's business what you believe or not

My 84 year old aunt has known I’m an atheist for probably 10 years and we never sat down and talked about it. Still, every year she sends me a religious Birthday card hoping I’ll turn to Jesus. I never confront her and I just read it before I throw it away. She must still love me and that’s important.

why do you have to tell her, if she doesn't ask? of course if she is very religious she might be the type to talk about it all the time; is she? if so, then the next time she says something that begs the assumption that you also believe, you can simply say "oh, that's not how i see things, though i know you do, and that's fine."

g

Be careful but don't volunteer

My dad had Alzheimer’s. My advice is divert questions and answers to happy times. I diverted dad to good times with mom, family, and friends. It’s the emotions that count. Some of the long term memories might still be there.

is there something imperative about them knowing about your lack of faith? can it just sit?

No reason to tell her unless it’s important to you.
My family knows I don’t believe but it’s never been a topic of conversation.