You are correct. The ones having the worst time at funerals does appear to be the believers.

I am taking that a step further. There will be no funeral for me when I die.

I have not been to a funeral since my maternal grandfather died when I was around 7 or 8.

My parents were not religious so neither had a "church" burial.

I don't expect to have one either.

Funerals are sad how they often have little to do with the deceased.

I can still remember my great grandmother's funeral in 1991. After the service, one of her neighbors came up to me. I anticipated some kind of condolence. Instead, he complained that I had stopped mowing his lawn.

I stopped because every few weeks he would get drunk, feel guilty about paying me 10 bucks for a lawn that took four hours to mow, and give me 20 or 30 bucks. He would drunkenly INSIST I take it. My great grandfather told me to sneak into the guy's house and leave the money. There was no WAY I was sneaking in that drunk guy's house. So I finally told him I wasn't mowing his lawn anymore.

And so my most pronounced memory of her funeral was some slob's lawn down the street. (And yes, he was slightly drunk at the funeral also.)