I am taking that a step further. There will be no funeral for me when I die.

I have not been to a funeral since my maternal grandfather died when I was around 7 or 8.

My parents were not religious so neither had a "church" burial.

I don't expect to have one either.

My dad, who is 94 and has no living relatives but me, said he wants to be cremated with no viewing and no funeral. He said he always disliked going to wakes and funerals during his life and he wanted to spare everybody that ordeal. I told him I'd handle it.

Funerals are sad how they often have little to do with the deceased.

I can still remember my great grandmother's funeral in 1991. After the service, one of her neighbors came up to me. I anticipated some kind of condolence. Instead, he complained that I had stopped mowing his lawn.

I stopped because every few weeks he would get drunk, feel guilty about paying me 10 bucks for a lawn that took four hours to mow, and give me 20 or 30 bucks. He would drunkenly INSIST I take it. My great grandfather told me to sneak into the guy's house and leave the money. There was no WAY I was sneaking in that drunk guy's house. So I finally told him I wasn't mowing his lawn anymore.

And so my most pronounced memory of her funeral was some slob's lawn down the street. (And yes, he was slightly drunk at the funeral also.)