Dating on line can be a rough time with the religious folks who don't mention in their profile about the affiliation to the church and with the Lord. When you have a conversation over the phone and every other word that comes out of their mouth is Lord this and Jesus that. And I'm just being quiet not saying anything but trying to change the subject to anything away from the Lord. And have a normal conversation. When you pop the bubble where you stand. And then you feel a weight lifted even with a person who feel so strong about there beliefs in religion. I wish there were more dating sites for folks like us.
Along with my many rules such as "Thou shalt have a car" , "Thou shalt have a steady source of income" ,and "Though shalt not have a criminal background including aggravated assault", I have mentioned that I am a liberal agnostic and that is not up for negotiation. We can talk about something else if you do not feel likewise. I am sure that I get a fraction of messages due to sounding uptight, but it's a timesaver.
I've had that problem except it's with guys and sex. I finally get so tired of them turning everything I say to something sexual that I will tell them that there is more to life than sex.
There is more to life than religion. If they don't agree just tell them you don't believe you are compatible and end the conversation.
I can totally relate! I wish there were more of us, period - a majority of people on this rock who value logic and reason would be a dream. Oh, and kudos to you for having the patience to talk at length with bible thumpers. Your effort to find a connection is admirable
When I had a dating profile up I specified up front that I was not religious but it was okay if they were. As long as nobody tries to convert the other. However, if the bible was on their "Best books read list" or they did as you stated and God, lord, Lawd or Jesus was every other word... I'd move on to the next, just the same as if they had a picture posted wearing a MAGA hat. I don't care how beautiful you are... If you are wearing a MAGA hat... You're just plain ugly!
I can understand someone believing in god.... They were probably raised that way and told what to believe. But being a Trump supporter is being willfully stupid!
Sorry to derail your thread...
I did the same thing...the first line of my profile was that I was a liberal, bisexual, agnostic and if they needed a ‘god-fearing woman’ that it wasn’t me! Problem is, so many didn’t bother to read profiles.
I already quit online dating, the way it makes me feel with women on that is that I have to tick the boxes so I would get a chance. People tend to look for the "perfect" match, sometimes getting unrealistic expectations about people. At the moment I'm feeling pretty much comfortable with being on my own. I don't even try to look for a relationship now. Why worry about that? Of course I don't want to discourage people of taking a chance in dating, everybody's different with different attitude towards things. Whatever feels /seems /thinks right at the moment just do it, no problems.
I’m pretty much in the same boat as you. Tried online dating on a half dozen apps. They are all the same. If you are on free they send you all kinds of people showing interest, lots of locals. Once you sign on for pay, the well dries up, you never get a reply and the matches never look like the ones they sent you before. And forget being honest! Honesty will get you totally ostracized. I have been without even a dinner date for years and often when I am around couples or women I had been with before, I thank my lucky stars I am blissfully single and only have to answer to my dog!
It's a very, very annoyed time with politics too. I met a nice gentleman in this site but it was my mistake for not asking about his politics views while we were texting. So I discovered that he admired the Orange Republican and that was the END.
@Cecilia2018 Well sorry that happened. I have no interest in anyone who is a Trump supporter. I have backed away from family that are Trump supporters so would never start a relationship with anyone who can find any good in Trump.
@GreatNani, there are pockets of ultra Conservatives and Trump zombies on this site. I have had them show up to comment from time to time. Thank goodness for blocking!
@GreatNani, I think for the most part they stay in their groups. They tend to get trashed with facts and figures when they venture out. With no defense but name calling and talking points, there is little left for a reasonable exchange of views with most of them.
If you live in America and are trying to date Americans, you probably should get used to the religiosity that's inescapable.
Only about 7% of Americans are Atheists and/or Agnostic. That pretty much sums that up.
(I was once married to an American Muslim. We didn't once disagree about religion or lack thereof. Sometimes religion is only an issue if it's made to be an issue.)
@bobwjr My brother is a staunch atheist and married a Christian. She is of the variety who thinks the USA is a Christian country. I guess she missed the lecture on separation of church and state. LOL. Any way they’ve been married 20 years now. They have many debates but have agreed to disagree. Fortunately, their two teen boys are atheists. The oldest was already atheist at 9 years old. He announced in his Christian classroom that he thought “it all sounded made up”. Never been more proud! Anyway it can work but I would find the debates tiring and agree it is best to find mates and friends who are like minded. We’re already outnumbered out there so is nice if our inner circle to be atheist.
I always stated I'm atheist in my profile and still got the god squad type, and a sprinkling of "oh your life must be so empty without jesus" brainwash type. But it was the repubs that made me give up on it. Now I flirt at the gym.
Saying you are an atheist means different things to different people.
You are connecting with the ones that read "I need jesus, please help me"
There are many more out there that see you as a "cause" , not a date.
Best of luck to you. I have had no luck in the quest.
On the flip side, I have come across men who will change their religious status to non-religious in order to meet me, and then change it back when I say no. Those I did meet, were still confounded when they start making God references, and when I'm puzzled, they exclaim, you mean you don't believe in God at all? I guess to some, the term non-religious simply means religion-lite. Those that actually were "non-religious" turned out to be new age nuts, which is same as religious to me, so I'm happy to remain single.
Don't you feel honored that they would reject god and risk eternal torture to meet you?
There are a lot of people out there who claim to believe in god, but think organized religion is a scam. I like to think they've made it halfway to reality.
@JimG Well they can go to confession regarding their perceived blasphemy, and not suffer any consequences whatsoever. Point being, there are many who list whatever religion they feel gives them the best chances with the subjects of their desires, and can change various attributes daily. Example: A gal will only date a non-smoker? Well, switcho-chango, they are no longer smokers, cough cough, as if a gal can't smell it on their clothes and breath, haha!
These people need a sense of community and their club allows them to instantly bow their heads and start talking to themselves. Rather than feel silly they think they have the higher ground and great morality while you have nothing because you do not know the invisible man.
In cases of believer conflict you can find many times that a preacher or minister type has come into a situation to help bust up a couple and everyone thinks this was god's will. Pursue love and relationships with believers at your own peril.
i absolutely believe y'all about your experiences in this regard but i just have never had them. i never dated much but when i did, be it a blind date, a date found in the back of a newspaper (before the internet, folks) or online, religion never came up. i went on one date with a libertarian whose politics horrified me, a guy who showed up drunk and proceeded to drink, and a really nice one with whom i hit it off so well we actually got to the kissing part and THAT killed it, since he couldn't keep his hands from my throat. (no thanks!) and then there was the guy who told me he was married AFTER we'd been intimate, and the guy who at least was up front about that. "my wife and i have an open relationship." "that's nice. i don't." nobody ever mentioned religion. now i have been settled for almost two decades with a guy who vaguely believes in a personal god but doesn't push it, and whose belief doesn't make him science-stupid. we're jewish, so there's no jesus stuff -- that would sure be a dealbreaker! the topic doesn't come up much. i like rituals, parties, good food, so we're celebrating rosh hashana tonight, when we get home from the opera.
When I met women online, before there was any real life meeting, I made my position on religion, spirituality, and pseudoscience as clear as possible. I mean if I like someone, I like them; however I'm not going to believe in nonsense or pretend to in order to impress anyone.
I have found that if you mention your lack of belief in your dating profile and/or your desire to not meet anyone religious that it usually, saves a lot of time.
I always put it in my profile. I always figured that was at least one reason I got so few responses. My guess old be men are more prone to figure they can turn a non-believing woman, but women don’t feel they can convert a non-believing man. The men are wrong I think, but still...
@Barnie2years True, it is probably a reason to get fewer responses. But at least you know the ones that do respond have a chance at going somewhere if the religion situation has already been addressed. I was always not one to waste time, mine or anyone else’s. It does make the fishing pond smaller, but it makes the compatible fish stand out.
@Hazydays, being a beautiful woman like you certainly makes even a smaller dating pool very productive I would think.
Thats not always true. I always put that I'm non religious and even tell them again when we talk. I still get people who rambles about God and then hates me when I don't agree with them. What am I suppose to look at these men and "oh you are the best thing that came in my life, God IS real" yea I don't think so
@kristi0889 some Christians can't resist “saving” us and could be why they reach out. I guess they don't get that we were saved when we let go of religion and god. Others think we are “just mad” at god. They can't survive without their imaginary friends so can't imagine how we can. Thank goodness for this forum so we can find like minded individuals.
Early on, I was talking with one on the phone and just joking about our various characteristics. Height, age, education. I mentioned that if I could, I would have made her a little taller. She went on a tirade about how she is perfect because God made her. I don't think she thought I was perfect, and I suppose she believes God made everyone.
I had a contact from a guy that had Baptists in his religious preference box. I immediately told him that I was not religious and we probably would not be a good match. He immediately told me that he just put Baptist there because he thought that's what most women in the area were. Of course he voted for Trump as well. There are a lot of dishonest people in this world and they accept dishonesty in other people that they see using it for self benefit.
Jesus said not to eat with Shriners or Republicans.