Dating on line can be a rough time with the religious folks who don't mention in their profile about the affiliation to the church and with the Lord. When you have a conversation over the phone and every other word that comes out of their mouth is Lord this and Jesus that. And I'm just being quiet not saying anything but trying to change the subject to anything away from the Lord. And have a normal conversation. When you pop the bubble where you stand. And then you feel a weight lifted even with a person who feel so strong about there beliefs in religion. I wish there were more dating sites for folks like us.
Along with my many rules such as "Thou shalt have a car" , "Thou shalt have a steady source of income" ,and "Though shalt not have a criminal background including aggravated assault", I have mentioned that I am a liberal agnostic and that is not up for negotiation. We can talk about something else if you do not feel likewise. I am sure that I get a fraction of messages due to sounding uptight, but it's a timesaver.
I've had that problem except it's with guys and sex. I finally get so tired of them turning everything I say to something sexual that I will tell them that there is more to life than sex.
There is more to life than religion. If they don't agree just tell them you don't believe you are compatible and end the conversation.
I can totally relate! I wish there were more of us, period - a majority of people on this rock who value logic and reason would be a dream. Oh, and kudos to you for having the patience to talk at length with bible thumpers. Your effort to find a connection is admirable
When I had a dating profile up I specified up front that I was not religious but it was okay if they were. As long as nobody tries to convert the other. However, if the bible was on their "Best books read list" or they did as you stated and God, lord, Lawd or Jesus was every other word... I'd move on to the next, just the same as if they had a picture posted wearing a MAGA hat. I don't care how beautiful you are... If you are wearing a MAGA hat... You're just plain ugly!
I can understand someone believing in god.... They were probably raised that way and told what to believe. But being a Trump supporter is being willfully stupid!
Sorry to derail your thread...
I already quit online dating, the way it makes me feel with women on that is that I have to tick the boxes so I would get a chance. People tend to look for the "perfect" match, sometimes getting unrealistic expectations about people. At the moment I'm feeling pretty much comfortable with being on my own. I don't even try to look for a relationship now. Why worry about that? Of course I don't want to discourage people of taking a chance in dating, everybody's different with different attitude towards things. Whatever feels /seems /thinks right at the moment just do it, no problems.
If you live in America and are trying to date Americans, you probably should get used to the religiosity that's inescapable.
Only about 7% of Americans are Atheists and/or Agnostic. That pretty much sums that up.
(I was once married to an American Muslim. We didn't once disagree about religion or lack thereof. Sometimes religion is only an issue if it's made to be an issue.)
On the flip side, I have come across men who will change their religious status to non-religious in order to meet me, and then change it back when I say no. Those I did meet, were still confounded when they start making God references, and when I'm puzzled, they exclaim, you mean you don't believe in God at all? I guess to some, the term non-religious simply means religion-lite. Those that actually were "non-religious" turned out to be new age nuts, which is same as religious to me, so I'm happy to remain single.
These people need a sense of community and their club allows them to instantly bow their heads and start talking to themselves. Rather than feel silly they think they have the higher ground and great morality while you have nothing because you do not know the invisible man.
In cases of believer conflict you can find many times that a preacher or minister type has come into a situation to help bust up a couple and everyone thinks this was god's will. Pursue love and relationships with believers at your own peril.
i absolutely believe y'all about your experiences in this regard but i just have never had them. i never dated much but when i did, be it a blind date, a date found in the back of a newspaper (before the internet, folks) or online, religion never came up. i went on one date with a libertarian whose politics horrified me, a guy who showed up drunk and proceeded to drink, and a really nice one with whom i hit it off so well we actually got to the kissing part and THAT killed it, since he couldn't keep his hands from my throat. (no thanks!) and then there was the guy who told me he was married AFTER we'd been intimate, and the guy who at least was up front about that. "my wife and i have an open relationship." "that's nice. i don't." nobody ever mentioned religion. now i have been settled for almost two decades with a guy who vaguely believes in a personal god but doesn't push it, and whose belief doesn't make him science-stupid. we're jewish, so there's no jesus stuff -- that would sure be a dealbreaker! the topic doesn't come up much. i like rituals, parties, good food, so we're celebrating rosh hashana tonight, when we get home from the opera.
When I met women online, before there was any real life meeting, I made my position on religion, spirituality, and pseudoscience as clear as possible. I mean if I like someone, I like them; however I'm not going to believe in nonsense or pretend to in order to impress anyone.
Early on, I was talking with one on the phone and just joking about our various characteristics. Height, age, education. I mentioned that if I could, I would have made her a little taller. She went on a tirade about how she is perfect because God made her. I don't think she thought I was perfect, and I suppose she believes God made everyone.
I have no problem with dating believers or non-believers. What I DO have a problem is when that is what you put front and center. This means that it's so important to you that it defines who you are and will likely color your world view. I don't like that. I think there are many many many other things that are more important than what you believe or unbelieve in and if you have to make it a point to state that up front, then it's likely because you won't get along with people that believe differently than you and I don't do well with those types of people.
This site is really not a dating site. There have been a few success stories, but this is really a facebook for agnostics and atheists. Which is ok with me. Regular dating sites work fine, IF you read their profiles carefully, openly state where you are coming from on your profile, and practice the art of asking probing questions early on. It makes me want to puke when I hear the sob stories of agnostics and or atheists who do NOT do the above and end up on wasted dates. Hey it YOUR fault you wasted your time,by not preparing well enough before asking someone out. Also, there a lot more open minded liberal people with religious beliefs who are welling to accept someones beliefs who differ from theirs. They exist, I have met many and dated some. They will let you have your beliefs and you let them have theirs and it works out. So do not give up. Just quit dating people who DO have strong religious beliefs, that does not work at all.
I had a contact from a guy that had Baptists in his religious preference box. I immediately told him that I was not religious and we probably would not be a good match. He immediately told me that he just put Baptist there because he thought that's what most women in the area were. Of course he voted for Trump as well. There are a lot of dishonest people in this world and they accept dishonesty in other people that they see using it for self benefit.