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Every time I say good bye to my now 95 year old dad it wrenches my heart.I am glad I have had so many times to tell him I appreciate all he has done for me and I love him.I wish I lived closer and could just drop by.

btroje 9 Mar 28

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7

I wish you could too. My papa and I were super close. For the last two years he lived with me and I would take him to his doctors appointments and he would always smile this huge grin and introduce me to every person we met, even strangers. I loved him so much. After his first heart attack I did everything I could to spend time with him, but in the end I still wish I had more time. Losing him has been the hardest loss I've ever experienced and I still can't cope well.

I hope you can hold on tightly to every single happy thing with him, and I hope he lives long enough for you to have no regrets. Love and hugs

7

You are both very lucky to have what you do and for so long.

we needed that extra time

6

treasure the loving relationship you have with your father; mine rejected my existence from when i was 18 'til he died - 19 years later.

How sad...I am sorry that happened to you.

@Freedompath, thank you. in a way it had its positive side too: i learned to let go, & that nothing is forever. as the saying goes: you can choose your friends, but not your family.

very sad

@walklightly you are so right on. Here in old (er), age, I find that my (great), adversities have made me tougher and I never thought that in my earlier days as I struggled to rework all the shame and sorrow of my childhood conditioning! I found a few caring friends that I substituted for my mother (subconsciously), so that helped! And, even found father figures. These things are not seen so clearly, until later in life! I am glad to see that you can name clearly what happened to you...it is always 'up' from there!

@Freedompath sometimes a chosen family works out better

5

Be thankful for every day.

5

I am so sorry that you are sad. Let the love in your heart, support you!

4

((( hugs )))

4

I'm in a similar spot. My dad's 93, I am about 10 hours away by car. I call him every day and usually visit 3 times a year. Could only make it once in 2017 due to my on life demands, though I am traveling up for a 2 week stay starting next week. My mom is gone, all his brothers and sisters are gone, all my mom's brothers and sisters are gone, I am an only child, and when you get to 93, most of your friends and neighbors are already in the ground. It's rough.

yes they spend a lot of time saying good bye to long time friends. It takes a lot of strength and courage to carry on this late in life

4

I can sympathize. My mother lives in NY. I'm in GA. She has cancer and I don't see her nearly as often as I want or need or should.

so sorry, that is really rough

4

That's bitter-sweet. Thanks for sharing.

that captures it. I couldnt think of the word last night

4

Enjoy th experience and enjoy the time with your loved ones The ones we can take with us is memories and nothing else Nothing is permanent in this world we all have to go one day so make full use and enjoy and give unconditional love

Rosh Level 7 Mar 28, 2018
4

Do what eases your mind if he goes. Don't have any regrets. Make sure you tell him how much he means to you.
I've seen my siblings cry over not being able to tell Dad things in my opinion needed to be said long ago. I told them to use his death as a learning experience to not treat others the same way, don't get mad over stupid shit. Nothing changed with them, when Mom passes I'll have to hear the same thing all over. I've asked then repeatedly to call her or something, the guilt is on them.

I don't think I will have any regrets about things not said or done when he goes. I still need to do some work with my mom

@btroje good for you, congratulations. Most wait until it's too late.

3

Letting him go won't be easy. Since you have shown your appreciation for him as well as you can, you don't want to hold on to the "I could have done more" type of guilt. We could always do more, but your dad would want you to go on with life, living it to the fullest. That will be the best thing you can do for him. Peace and love.

no guilt here. I think we did a lot. OUr relationship was very rocky when I was growing up. I think after he retired and the stress of that work left him we were able to relate on a human level . If he had died before he was 70 , yes guilt and unfinished business would have been in the air

3

Beautiful relationship. Envious. My dad passed 3 years ago at 90. Wish I could have said goodbye before funeral.

We are concious of the nearness of death every time we talk now and interact like it is the last time we will see each other. It could be true of anyone at any time but it stares us in the face now

3

It seems like you have the right perspective, sharing with him how you feel. I sympathize with your impending loss; but you have an entire lifetime of shared closeness and happy memories, and you obviously appreciate the time you've had with him. In that respect, I'm a little envious, since I never knew my dad; he died when I was a baby.

I think it's wonderful that you care so much for him.

marga Level 7 Mar 28, 2018

thanks and sorry for your loss.

3

Thank you for sharing your dad and your relationship with him. It does my heart good to know of families with such love for each other.

When I was young and ignorant I did not appreciate him as much. I know much more now

3

distance is the enemy

3

Going through the same
I've been back to Ohio five times in past two years
All that matters I know what's important
He turns 100 in August

we were originally from Ohio.

3

You still have the memories of what a great person he was to you.

3

I know how you feel <3

1

Little secret he loves every goodby as much and perhaps more then you. Keep them coming.

1

So true but then again death is just part of living. My closet female friend was murdered when we were 17 years old and then I lost my very best everything when my sister dies at 49 years old
The thing I am driving at is we, the living see it as a loss and then embalmb the body allowing us more time to view it. We must think of the one who died, not us. Not what a loss WE had. To embalmb means to drain the blood down the sewer, puncter all organs and then fill the body shell. Why, just so we can see it three days later. LET mother nature take her body back and move on with the wonderful joy and bliss the person left imprinted on your life

EMC2 Level 8 Mar 28, 2018

my dad is still alive and not likely but may see 96

1

My dad doesn't talk to me.

I am the other way around my daughter doesn't talk to me I keep sending unconditional love

@Rosh My dad doesn't talk on the phone well. He never has. He abused me as a kid, so I don't talk to him much. He is sexually attracted to me.

@Rosh I think those seeds will eventually pay off.

@btroje Seeds?

@Sarahroo29 he keeps giveing her unconditional love- I am thinking of that act as something that may blossom in the future

@btroje Oh, okay. I got confused by that.

@Sarahroo29 no problem

Hi Sarahroo29 I am really sorry to hear that- sexually abusing people and your own child Be strong Sarah and move on forgive me and move on i know is not easy hopefully time will heal you and the universe energy will strengthen you

0

So true but then again death is just part of living. My closet female friend was murdered when we were 17 years old and then I lost my very best everything when my sister dies at 49 years old
The thing I am driving at is we, the living see it as a loss and then embalmb the body allowing us more time to view it. We must think of the one who died, not us. Not what a loss WE had. To embalmb means to drain the blood down the sewer, puncter all organs and then fill the body shell. Why, just so we can see it three days later. LET mother nature take her body back and move on with the wonderful joy and bliss the person left imprinted on your life

EMC2 Level 8 Mar 28, 2018
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