According to the prayer study a few years back, people who knew others were praying for them had a slightly higher mortality rate.

If the cancer is advanced and the chance of survival with treatment is very low, I feel that showing compassion through comforting is a respectable course of action. Having the conflict serves no purpose except to demonstrate your resolve. Hope is not a course of action, but sometimes it is all a person has to deal with the prospect of death.

Prognosis? If death is imminent, I say let her do what she has to do. If not, cancer doesn't exempt her from respecting you. If prognosis is good, I'd go with something along the lines of 'I don't want to disrespect your religion by pretending I believe it. It would cheapen its meaning for you and cheapen my respect for myself.'

At a time like this I would let her find comfort where ever she finds it. You have my sympathy.

My dad told all of the spiritual healers and mental health workers to get out while he was in hospice during the Esophageal cancer that spread to his liver. He was a strong man and fought until the end.

So sorry. Hardest thing when my step mom died of cancer was her looking at me and seeing the truth she was dying when everyone was praying for her and I could not say that.

I can relate to your story. I too have gone through a similiar situation. My step daughter was battling cancer, she was a born again Christian and extremely faithful to her church. She gave tyes to the church when she couldnt pay her rent, she was on the prayer phone chain and would pray for others every day. People would come over and lay their hands on her and perform prays that would remove the cancer. But this was only in the begginning. We never heard again from anyone. In her last days i called the church and let them have it. I told them you said you would stay with us and now 9 months later you forgot all about us. I confronted them. They said , since we never heard from you we figured she got well. I said you really think your song and dance show cured her? I have been an agnostic my whole life. I have been hoping to be proven wrong vut to date sadly I haven't been. I am still hopeing to be proven wrong. During that experience I wrote and recorded a song called Prove Me Wrong. I am trying to find an artist to record it, but thou many think along the same lines they keep it hidden and go along with the followers because it is more popular. I will keep you and your dear wife in heart and thoughts. My own wife doesnt even wNt to hear my song because you should never question God. I feel deep down she feels as I do but won't go there. She says why haven't I got any kind of sign that she's ok. It breaks my heart, but I keep my thoughts to myself because she is in so much pain.

What type of cancer? I lost a friend to carcinoid cancer just last year. However... she was diagnosed over ten years ago! The doctor told her there was no cure... All she could do was manage the best she could. She ate right, went to the gym and followed her doctor's recommendations to the letter.

She fought hard and made those last 10 years count. She went every place she ever wanted to go and did everything she could.

It is a shot to the gut for sure. Move past that feeling as soon as you can and educate yourself and your wife. Find others with the same condition and compare notes!

Good luck!

Sorry to here man, no words can truly help right now but I understand . People get scared and turn to whoever's they feel may help. Sounds like she was religious and illness, ones mortality will definitely strengthen that belief. I'd let her be comfortable with whatever she chooses. If people ask you to pray, just smile and say you're doing everything you can, and speaking to all the professionals who you know can help.

Since there's no god, what does it matter if they "pray" or not..anything that happens in the universe is willed by US, so we are the literal "gods" in real life.

If someone wants to send positive energy to me in prayer, chants, holy water, hugs, etc, I'll take it, since we are all one connected energy field, and time and space are just an illusion.

I do believe way too many confuse inter strength with prayer!!!

If you have the mental factors to set forth, hence find the calm of survival in an underlining realm, which many convey prayer!

We all have these strengths, at times they are so fleeting, others within our grasp!!!

We do not realize we have that strength within us, others tell us to pray as if we are in the hands of some strange force outside of ourselves!!!

The reality is we can waken the inner strength by our on solace, we can conceived as prayer!,

It does not matter how we get there as long as our own results are viable too and within us!!!

Stage? Treatable? Sonetimes it's better to let loved ones do what conforts them, in special occasions like this. You don't have to pray but tell her you are and will be with her and will support her and love her through thick and thin or something to that effect.

I would suggest that your wife is now sufficiently stressed that she has lost the use of the rational part of her mind. Putting it another way, she is not the woman that she once was. I do not envy you.

Do you have a prognosis?

Think of prayer as positive energy being sent toward your wife. While we may see the logic that makes religion appear foolish there is also an interconnectedness which science is still trying to understand and explain.

My departure from the faith was cemented in my late wife's final years but I did not want to deprive her of whatever comforted her. Prayer was part of that. Fortunately she was not trying to get me to do it. She had relatives who were considered "prayer warriors". It didn't help, of course. But whatever you have to do to get yourself through the day, I always say. So long as you don't ram it down MY throat.

All you can do is trust in modern medicine to save her.

That's part of why I resolved to remain single after my marriage ended. Women are goofy. I'd lie to her and say I'm praying but don't. If she got well I'd leave her because I hate religion that much and it's only going to get worse if she does. She'll be convinced the praying saved her.

Have you been looking at the plant "milk thistle". It is very powerful. Is used in Europe in some hospitals in I.V. to cure liver diseases. Do not loose hope.

Tough situation. You and your wife have my sympathy.

I'm so sorry for you and your wife. If she finds comfort in that and her friends praying groups, let that be. Even more, pretend and tell her whatever she expects you to say. Do it for her. I know you are an atheist like me, and you don't believe in all that crap, but I'd do it for my wife in a situation like that. Wish you the best...

Well, a friend of mine got lymphoma and, when she was recovering, she would pray to God. She used to say she wasn't a believer. It depends on the person. Unfortunately, no matter how silly it seems to us, it helps the person to deal with the situation. Just keep being supportive to her situation, you don't have to pray as well.

Permit her comfort where she may find it. Support her by not criticizing her for where she finds it. I have known a few folks who are convinced that god destroyed their cancer. The doctors/research & development did not ????? Just be there for her & don't add to her discomfort. What difference does it make except to irritate you if she finds comfort in nonsense. If it gives her comfort what is there to lose unless she refuses treatment.

As atheists we are not comfortable with nor believe in prayer and most of us would consider a annoying distraction a worthless use of energy that bamboozles people into false hope. With that having been said we know of the power of the placebo effect! It might not be the ideal you had hoped for but do you really want to let your wife be bitter and angry with you just because you don't ser eye to eye on this ussue. Im not saying you should pretend to be a holy roller but just because we are atheist doesnt mean we are without compassion. To let this become an issue between the two of you in this situation would be like telling a child that just lost a tooth the tooth fairy doesnt exist.

For me, I just look at it as a show of support. We all get to decide how we feel about what’s happening to us , jo one can take that from us . It’s very sad that we as humans have to go through these experiences. I can’t imagine how your wife feels , and if that comforts her and can give her some positive energy to deal with it , I would say go for it. When one is facing their mortality let them deal with it however they choose , I say . My youngest Daughter survived Ecoli when she was three years of age I remember the doctor telling me they weren’t responsible for the the recovery, because by the time they got the lab results back she had recovered and they confirmed it Ecoli . That was 19 years ago, at time i was thanking the “lord “ now i just know she has a hell of a immune system. Hope the best for you both . We had all kinds of people praying for her .

The belief in prayer and afterlife are merely mental anesthetics for fearful people who can't muster the courage to face the finality of death. I stand on this conviction through evidence based truth. But do we have the right to challenge someones different beliefs on their death bed? I don't think so. I see the support of their beliefs as a supplement to palliative care which terminal patients receive to relieve the physical symptoms and stress of dying through the gradual increase of morphine until they die. I came to understand all this when I went through the experience of being a caregiver for my closest cousin who contracted ALS. I volunteered one weekend a month to give his poor wife respite from her burden of taking care of him when I wasn't there. My cousin was a christian all his life. All he wanted to do was be with his mother after he died. My cousin knew i was non religious but I told him I hoped he got where he wanted to go nevertheless. This provided comfort to him. He even told me that he would be waiting in heaven and upon my death he was coming to guide me there. My advise to you is when you get in this situation love everyone involved unconditionally and serve to help the terminally ill die as comfortably as possible both physically and mentally. I hope my story helps you...

What is the prognosis?