Someone I know is dying and has expressed that she would like to just fall asleep and not wake up. She is a atheist and is surrounded by bible thumping relatives who don’t really know she is atheist. Or at least they don’t want to know it.
The thing is, she is in pain and is suffering a long and cruel progressive illness. She knows she is dying. And she does not believe there is an afterlife. So she is at peace with it all.
Her family is not at peace. They prey for her recovery which we all know is not possible. Still they persist and claim a miracle could happen.
Honestly, I wish euthanasia were an option. I hate seeing her in the state and on top of it having the discomfort of people all around her preying when she has now interest.
I just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening
Sorry for your friend, and sorry you're having to watch their decline.
I've already got a plan in place for that.
When the time comes, when it is clear that my quality of life will be non-existent,
my departure will be assisted, and I will go on my own terms.
Suicide is a perfectly reasonable option for the terminally ill.
They don't need anyone's permission.
If I were ever to be asked to help someone I love make their exit, I would absolutely do it.
I hope your friend finds relief soon.
it's so sad when people can't just be there for one another.
It shows the need for planning.
My sister went to Hospice...she was Buddhist and my other sister was Lutheran...the Lutheran sis couldn't deal with the fact our dying sister was at peace...i being the Athiest had to be basically a shield for my dying sister...just can't win sometimes with the damn Christians...
Hospice will supply enough morphine that that will happen, just keep complaining about pain & they will up & up & up the dosage.
Thank you for sharing that.
Your post makes me wonder if the "godders" (for the lack of a better word) are in fact more concerned for themselves rather than for your friend.
It is very often difficult for those that are actively dying who are atheist as their desperate families try to do their best to help them. Often prayer is the last resort. I wish your friend the best and am happy you are there for her.
In a sane world we would have control over life and death. My aunt had cancer and was able to self medicate at home. Nobody knows the particulars of her passing, but I know she saved morphine for the end. Personally, if I were dying, I'd move to Oregon or some place that allows people to die with dignity. I hold no firm beliefs except that no person or state has the right to keep people alive against their wishes nor force women to bear children.
Me, I'd be saying "I want to die at home." They send me home. I grab all the stuff I have in my medicine cabinet, take it . . . . end of story . . .
if legal 'Assisted Suicide" is not available in your community then I would take matters into my own hands while I am still able to acquire and self administer the neccessary items... plan ahead if your family doesn't get this...
Like aussie, they tend to medicate increasing pain such that euthanasia becomes an "unintended effect". The amount of medication required to control the pain reaches a toxic level. Or you could always go and visit your friendly neighbourhood drug dealer and get a "hot shot".
Her doctor can order hospice and an opium drip ....after a few days or weeks of several induced sleeps she won't wake up as she wishes to die painlessly
The hospice care that Anne Wimsey mentioned is her best option, specially if you're in a country that frowns upon assisted suicide, not to mention having a family that doesn't understand. My grandmother was dying of lung cancer and my mom got hospice to help her. We knew that she was in so much pain and that she was ready. My family is somewhat religious, though it doesn't really affect their decisions in their life. I'm just thankful that my grandmother didn't have to suffer a long and painful death. I really hope that your friend will find peace when she is ready and I'm glad you're there to support her.
It's sounds like a tough situation -- about which I have little comforting to offer except a wish to stay strong.
It sounds like you may be the adult that people will end up relying on and it's possible that you won't get any better option othet than to just fill your role. I wish you the best. And we're thinking of you.
sometimes if she has hospice coming to her home they can recommend how much pain med would help her with that sometimes not
I understand fully what you are saying. She can find groups on line who can help her with the desire. If I find myself in a similar dilemma, I will act to determine the time and means of my death. What her family wants and believes is simply irrelevant.
In hospice, the attending physician can prescribe enough morphine to keep you unconscious for several days. He can usually also direct no nourishment or intravenous fluids. This takes about 3 days to let the individual pass. I see you are in TX, not sure how it works there, but look into it.
Prey , is the animal other animals eat . I think you mean her relatives were praying for her , although I could be wrong .
@Lightupmylife so true ....prEyer is xians pretending their alleged magic words are going to cure our Atheism.....they would not dare prEy AGAIN upon Jews but us Atheists cut them slack.....their alleged gawd geebush jeehobah ghostholes is deaf dumb and impotent
Unfortunately, Texass may be the last state to legalize Death with Dignity. Your friend needs to have a final exit plan which should include getting rid of all the religious around her. She may find this will ease the tension a lot. My late partners brother and sister-in-law constantly questioned he involvement with the DwD program and the sister-in-law could not stop bawling (my partner sent a message no prayers or tears). She sent them packing after only 2 days. Encourage your friend to come out and get rid of the miserable ones around her. One should only have positive forces around them.
Everyone owns their own lives. If they want to end it, particularly if they are in terrible pain or they have a terminal condition and don't want to linger. If I ever end up that way, I hope I have the ability to do it for myself and can just quietly depart.
Multi-faceted planning! My friend, a retired nurse, kept a stash of pills on hand she’d “ know when to take them.” Her mental clarity left, she asked for them, but no one knew where they were. Suffered over a year just where she didn’t want to go...nursing home.