So last summer, my door was knocked on by three young men, obviously Mormon (wearing the Mormon missionary uniform: white short-sleeved shirt, tie, slacks).
Now to set the stage: I live in a rural area of King County, Washington; my backyard water feature is Cedar River - and my driveway is 1/10 of a mile long - but I have neighbors on one side, a medium stone's throw away, with a gated fence between us.
I asked them, "can I help you gentlemen?" and the boss missionary replies, " we're here to spread the good word about Jesus Christ and the Latter-Day Saints"
To which I replied, "uh-huh. So tell me, did you come here from next door through the gate?"
And boss missionary says, very earnestly, "oh, no sir, we came down the driveway"
"Izzatso? Here's the thing, boys - I'm a relaxed agnostic who was raised Roman Catholic and gave it up for Lent when I was 16 - but I think that everyone is entitled to believe whatever delusion they want to, as long as they don't annoy me with it. And I especially loathe proselytizers knocking on my door.
"So tell me, please, how you missed the 3 "No Trespassing" signs at the top and mid-point of my driveway?"
And when boss missionary denied seeing them, I replied, "my old grandma Grace always said 'you go to hell for lying just the same as you do for stealing,' son"
And as they fell over themselves apologizing and skedaddling, one of the mini-me-missionaries at least had the good grace to blush in embarrassment.