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How would everyone feel about being refused a date because you’re an atheist? Im good friends with a bloke, I’ve made it clear that I’d like to see more of him, but he told me he couldn’t date me because of my beliefs. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I don’t think I’d care about the beliefs or lack of in a partner.

TuppyG 4 Apr 1
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82 comments

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2

You’re better off without him. Chances are he would have other issues down the line as well.

12

I'd feel like I dodged a MAJOR bullet. If he can't date me because of my "beliefs" (more like lack of), I certainly don't want to date him.
Btw, if you're thinking about a life partner, it makes life much more difficult when they believe and you don't. Especially when it comes time for marriage or children.
Better make sure you've got all that worked out before you make long-term plans with anyone who doesn't share your lack of belief.

^^This, all day long

8

Since I am no longer interested in dating a believer, if somebody told me that was their reason, they saved me having to do the same!

8

I think you are lucky you found out about his problem early on. I would run far away from this person.

7

It's a bummer to ever be in such a position, and in the past two women I had liked turned me down because I did not share their world views. You will find someone more accepting down the road, no sense in altering your life for someone who refuses to accept logic and reasoning.

7

I dunno. I kinda see where he's coming from. If an idea is important to you, you want someone with a similar mindset. It equates to similar values. If you are looking at a long-term relationship, not sharing a fundamental belief is a red flag. People of different religions get together and have no idea what to tell their kids. Usually, one of the parents rolls over and let's the other one teach their religion. It'd be tough for sure.

7

There you go! You got a clear direction on how it would go with this person, Lucky to have found that out early.

7

I figure you dodged a bullet. His religion and your nonreligion were inevitably going to butt heads, I think, so in a way he's doing you a favor. There are exceptions, of course, but I have found that very different world views often carry vastly different value systems, and that often becomes a source of conflict in relationships.

6

I've been rejected many times because of it. I've just gotten to the point that I won't date anyone who isn't either agnostic or atheist. So I just turned the tables.

6

Fuck him, and not in a good way. 🙂

LOL

5

Damned lucky escape!

5

Sounds like he save you some time.

5

Consider it a 'blessing' in disguise 😉
He has it wrong, he's can't date you because of your non-belief.

5

As many others have said, you dodged a bullet. Good thing he was upfront about it.

I wouldn't date anyone more than superficially religious. I tried once and it crashed and burned.

4

I wouldn't worry about it, he's clearly a prat!

4

I've been refused quite a few dates because of my beliefs. In fact, today I was told that if you didn't believe in god, that you're not worth loving. Oh boy, talk about a boost of confidence.

Now that's a dickhead! What a jerk!

@BlueWave I agree!

4

I had the opposite happen. I have a friend who wanted to date me, but I said no because I didn't think it would work. I found even as a believer, if my views weren't exactly in line with hers it created conflict. In the Devout, God always comes first, before spouse, partner, kids, family and friends. Some people can overcome, but it's not for me.

4

That happened to me over a year ago. In fact, I was told I would burn in hell. I laughed. Another person I dated and really liked was 7th Day Adventist. We had a lot of fun, but he couldn't stay in the relationship unless I converted. I laughed again.

3

I would have no problem with it, because I have stopped dating religious or 'spiritual' dudes.

Yes I don’t date religious people either

3

I'd love it !

jacpod Level 8 June 10, 2018
3

If someone is that judgemental you’re better off alone.

3

I would thank her straight away for confirming early on that we were incompatible. If she was really nice though I might try and unconvert her so she didn't have to miss out on a really good 3 and a half minutes. Stud hey 😉

3

I would feel relieved. It's one thing to be religious, but another thing entirely to let those beliefs dictate your day to day life. I'd say you dodged a bullet with that person. I've had similar experiences on dating websites. I love to end the interactions with "thank you for your interest. God bless!"??

3

It wouldn't matter to me either, but it does to him. So, You are wasting your time.

3

Several years ago, I asked out a woman who worked at my company. We were also friends through Toastmasters, and so knew each other quite well, or so I thought. We went to a play and then dinner. Over dinner, we engaged in the usual first date small talk. The topic turned to religion, and I told her I had none. She said nothing in the moment.
At the end of the evening, in the parking lot (we had driven separately), we found ourselves in that awkward "what do we do now" moment. Do we kiss? Do we hug? Do I follow her home? She looked up at me and said "Sorry. I don't do atheists.", then got in her car and drove away. I was rather stunned, not to mention saddened. She was an attractive, intelligent woman, and then she was gone.
The next morning, I found a card on my desk. Inside was a very abashed and apologetic note. She was as sad about this as I was. She had been so happy when I asked her out, "like the genie had come out of the bottle". But her faith was a very important part of her life. She didn't want to be with someone that she had to drag to church every Sunday. Of course, I have to respect that. If that is a core value for you, then I'm not your man. But it would have been nice to know that up front. I guess that's why I'm here!

Ludo Level 7 Apr 1, 2018
3

He was just scared because your intellect outclassed his.
We all get knocked back for many reasons. The reason does not matter so much, he just does not feel compatible with you. I have had a lady stop dating me because I like cats. Which is cool, because had I known she hated cats, I would not have dated her.

That is Sooooo important.
Now I like cats, but can't have one because my girl & late dh are/were highly allergic, altho both love them.
I could not be with someone who isn't at least very ok with my dogs.

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