Agnostic.com

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DON'T BE AN ATH-HOLE.

I finally realized what this place was.

It may call itself Agnostic.com but is much more appropriately Antagonistic.com

Based on the sheer nature of the top level topics and the posts, the only purpose of this site seems to me that it is (predominantly) for bashing and ridiculing people of faith and what they believe in.

If you are looking for relationships then it has to start with compromise and understanding of others including mutual respect despite ideological differences. If you cannot achieve that in everyday life with regular people you certainly are not going to be able to do that with someone that is a potential life mate even if you share belief systems.

I share belief systems with probably 90 percent of you and I find the balance of you (not all of you, but many) completely offensive and obnoxious.

I understand that many of you probably have recently changed belief. And the shock and revelation of becoming an agnostic or an atheist is a drastic one. But acceptance of this way of life is not tied to ridiculing other people and what they believe in. We have enough problems with being accepted as agnostics or atheists without going on an offensive.

Would you people really be proud of the antagonistic, ad hominem content you are posting if it got out to your real life friends and family or your coworkers? Does this sort of nastiness truly advance our acceptance by others? What you are engaging in only confirms their hatred of and bias against us. We provide them ammunition.

That is the test I always use for any content I post online as a writer with a social media following.

What you are all experiencing is collective deindividuation.

[en.m.wikipedia.org]

You should think very carefully before jumping on bandwagons which attack or ridicule the religions of others. And how this behavior destroys your individual conscience and wellbeing.

How about we try some topics that are not tied to attacking and ridiculing people of faith and their icons and tenets? And their organizations? Or do we not have enough interesting subjects to talk about here? One would think with the supposed intellectual density of the membership here we’d have plenty of things to talk about here that do not involve ridicule, disgust or hatred of others.

DON'T BE AN ATH-HOLE.

jperlow 7 Apr 2
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57 comments

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21

I think that you end up seeing a very different side of this place than some of us do. I see a lot of posts asking how to cope with a loss of faith, many posts about hobbies or other innocuous topics, and a significant number about separation of church and state.
Sure, there are some that mock religion, but a lot of those specifically tackle the religion, rather than its adherents. And, yes, some are to vent about what certain adherents do and how it irks the poster. I assume those are the problem you have with this site. While some may go too far, a part of a community like this is to share experiences and to be able to vent. Talking it out here may help someone avoid blowing up at a family function.
With how you feel about this site, I would recommend finding a different community. This is clearly not a place you feel comfortable.
One last thing: many people on this site are openly atheists everywhere. The discussions are the same with friends and family. And many of the "antagonistic" posts are about friends and family trying to convert or refusing to believe an atheist truly does not believe in gods. This is a safer place than home for many, and a good place to learn that others have the same rough experiences with religious relatives.

Very well said!

I am frequently loyal opposition in the places I end up. The more people tell me I need to find somewhere else to go I tend to become more entrenched. But thanks for the ostentatious suggestion.

@jperlow Far be it from me to tell you what you need to do. I tend to prefer communities with which I do not have notable issues.
Not sure how my suggestion that you might be comfortable elsewhere is ostentatious, especially given that your initial post was suggesting the perceived majority change.
But, hey, if being at odds with others makes you happy, I am sure you can find many hearty debates here.

20

You know, opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one. You are entitled to yours too. I'm sorry you feel this is a hate site, but you couldn't be more wrong. This site advertises itself as a dating site, but that really is more of a secondary function. What it really is is a safe haven for nonbelievers to have conversations with like-minded people. Here they can have those conversations that, if they attempt them with believers, will result in their being attacked.

You may be correct in saying many of the people landing here are recently deconverted. If so, they need to vent. They should be able to do so here, among friends.

I find most of the folks here to be intelligent and very nice. They have a live-and-let-live attitude and have no problem with believers believing as long as those beliefs don't encroach on them. I happen to agree with this philosophy.

Before you condemn this community, perhaps you should dig a little deeper than "top level topics."

18

Some of the people here have been used; abused; battered; manipulated; lied to; subjugated; prejudice against, and/or ostracized by or from some form of religion. This is a safe place to vent and tell their stories as they find their place in society without religion.

Judging is not something that is encouraged here. We are all learning from and supporting each other as we decide how to navigate in our communities. Understanding and compassion are in abundance here and we wouldn’t change a thing. We all acknowledge that we are at different levels of understanding about the harm that religion can and has done. We are well aware that religions have adopted and promoted many good qualities and we are quite aware of the evils those qualities have masked in the past and the present.

A little patience, compassion, and understanding can go a long way to helping those who have been damaged and hurt by religion. Judgment and restrictions are not what we are hoping to gain here. Education, knowledge, and a safe community to heal is a goal we are trying to achieve.

Betty Level 8 Apr 2, 2018

I will continue to observe understanding some of these people have suffered a lot. I’ll temper my comments appropriately, much appreciatied.

15

I haven't found that at all. There are a few trolls on here that are conservative and try to stir the pot but I haven't found people to be bashing. Perhaps some yesterday since it was Easter and we're all sick of seeing "He has risen" on Facebook and other social media sites.

Yes the risen thing is annoying. During religious holidays Facechurch, pardon me, Facebook gets on my nerves more than usual

14

You know, I believe purely in treating others how you want to be treated, and respecting others religions if you want to be respected for yours, but in a site meant SPECIFICALLY for us, I don't see a problem with complaints and jokes. This isn't JUST a dating site it's a community.

Now if I see something excessively hateful I'll call them out on it or report it. However I don't think I've seen much to warrent that.

We are entitled to a safe place to complain. They have their churches and bible studies to call us evil and immoral so why can't we have our own place?

And I've seen VAST numbers of different topics that have nothing to do with religion. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places.

14

I agree with @jlynn37. I also read through your comments to a wide variety of posts and topics. I'm not sure what you sought when you came here, but it does not appear to me that it was mutually respectful conversation. With all due respect, I perceive you as bossy and a know-it-all. Take care.

?

13

You are generalizing too much here. I don't bash anyone over religion. I am anti-Trump and how his administration is trying to do away with the divide of Church and State. I am liberal and opposed to his Nationalism and anti-immigration stance. I hate bigots who are pro-white, vs. diversity and social programs that have kept me alive for the past 6 years: Obamacare, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security Disability. I respect others religious beliefs unless they try to ram them down anyone's throat, school systems and women's rights. Bash and hate no.

Why are you here? What is your true purpose. We are a diverse community so get with the program or return to social media.

I don’t have to get with anything. That’s exactly like forcing a belief system.

13

I agree, attacking people of faith is a useless and often destructive exercise. That said, I think it appropriate to speak up when religious people insist on imposing religion on us. For example, at the moment, in Canada, children are forced to listen to a religious song, O Canada, at the beginning of every school day. Secular Connexion Séculière is requesting that school boards play instrumental version of O Canada only during opening exercises in schools. This is not religion bashing, rather it is asserting our right to freedom from religion in public institutions.

Yes unfortunately it seems that if we advocate freedom of (and from) religion we are attaching religion. It is not the case and logic should support my thesis. I personally don't bash any religion, I simply don't care about religion, but I become defensive when somebody tries to "save"me

If we are attacking PEOPLE of faith we are wrong to do so. If we are attacking mythological faith beliefs we are encouraging thought and self discovery...a good thing.

13

Wow. I would disagree with much that said. There are a wide variety of topics being discussed at all times.

I would like to ask you, if you find the only purpose of this site is for bashing and ridiculing people of faith and what they believe in and you find the majority of the people so obnoxious and offensive, why are you still here? Really, life is too short. Find a group or community that makes you happy. There are several on Facebook and reddit you might consider.

I use this for the same reason I use Facebook and for the same reason I have no desire to abandon Facebook. I use and enjoy what I value and discard the rest. But this is a site in its infancy and can guide its evolution. If it truly values its members all opinions should be taken into consideration.

@WizardBill , your opinion. Not everyone (many) would be confortable expressing what I did out of fear of reprisal. I’m not here to validate bad behavior or to look the other way. Or to participate in negative deindividuality.

@jperlow I view this as a community. The community dictates it's discussions. Unless the posts and comments are threatening or violate the TOU, it's fair game really. If there are discussions you do not agree with, as with Facebook, just keep scrolling. Create posts of your own for discussion (I see you have.) Join groups that have discussions you would enjoy...

Also, surely you see there is a certain amount of irony in that you are judging all of us for judging others religious choices. Hi pot? It's me, kettle!

12

Thanks for the in-depth psychoanalysis. Nothing like someone who doesn't know you, who has never engaged in one single conversation with you, passing judgment on you. ALL religion is worthy of ridicule and derision, as far as I'm concerned. I will gleefully continue to ridicule and deride it until my last breath. My well-being is none of your goddamn business. My conscience is quite clear. Kindly take your armchair psychological assessment, fold it in three corners, and shove it up your ass, sideways. Have a nice day.

here here

Lol.

You're so eloquent. That's succinct and precise. I have nothing to add to it.

12

This post makes me angry while simultaneously laugh. The attempt at utilizing big words and labels towards a group of people who feel in a minority and are sometimes made to hide a piece of identity is abhorable. Unless you're responding to an attack on YOU, making a post on a site generalizing a group of people with whom you say you share "90%" ideals with is counterproductive. I believe you are both trolling and trying to create an air of superiority towards yourself within a group of people that probably have a higher IQ than the general public. That's not the right way to make yourself feel better about whatever it is you're going through.

I hope you are able to find the validation you're looking for in life, but let's skip the holier-than-thou attutude.

yes what a pile of shit ha ha

11

I noticed you never mentioned condescension, because there’s a lot of condescension in this post. If I may offer some citations. “If YOU cannot achieve that in everyday...” “I find the balance of YOU...” “Would YOU PEOPLE really be proud...” “What YOU are all experiencing is collective deindividuation...” “YOU should think very carefully before jumping on bandwagons... “

I see you’re familiar with the word “deindividuation,” but are you familiar with the word “Projection”? [en.wikipedia.org]

“That is the test I always use for any content I post online as a writer with a social media following.” It’s ironically that you SAY you use this particular test, and yet, here’s your post, online, on a page that has a following, being just as condescending as you possibly be. Let me ask you... “Would you like some self-righteous muttonhead putting on his best ‘I’m better than you’ voice and taking his stand atop the ‘I’m so special’ soap box in an effort to force the rest of the world to fit into his very narrow viewpoint”?

If you’re this bothered and offended because of what other people are talking about, then it’s quite clear you’re not ready to have this conversation. And the beautify of it all, is that you’re not required to be here either.

11

Wow, I have not had that experience by and large. There have been a few people disagreeing with others, but - just yesterday - I was inspired to post a thank you to the members of this site who've given me a safe haven. We have many conversations about many subjects. If I see what you describe - and have only seen it when we have a troll - I block the person and move on. It takes time and discernment to read through the growing number of posts here. Maybe I've been lucky, but I'm staying with my friends here.

11

You haven't really looked at much of this website, have you? There are numerous groups here, many of which have nothing to do with religion one way or the other.

If you don't like it here-- well, the door is right over there.

I’ve dived into quite a few and opened topics. So clearly I see there is some value.

10

I did hesitate, I am not going to lie... Then I just felt compelled to say, that has not been my experience with this site by any means. I am new but so far so good. I have run into quite a few very interesting conversations, so I am very pleased.

10

Your opinion is noted. You do you and I do me and strive to do/cause no harm.
I wish you well and success in finding what you are searching for here and in your life.

Causing no harm is key. As is mindfulness. I appreciate your sentiment.

9

Nah, I think my conscience and wellbeing are fine, thanks. How about you think very carefully before tromping into a community and telling it's members how to think?

yes good luck with that lol

7

Please leave the site if you're just going to insult and berate us.

This is not berating and I have not used ad hominem once. It’s free thinking and opinion, which I thought we encouraged,

7

Laughter brings people together

Not derisive laughter. That’s deindividuation.

@jperlow I just realised you have posted this just after Easter what do you expect people to do when most of them are being forced to do religious things that they don't want to do its a way of venting . Also most of the time there are far more subjects discussed as the rest of the comments are showing

@jperlow de-whatnow?

@memorylikeasieve lol I googled it

6

Just for the record, I only recently got on this site and I find the topics extemely varied both in content and context. As for if I would make statements in social media outside of this site? I have been for years on Facebook. It has offended some people who don't have stopped my newsfeed (many of whom still remain friends in real life) and brought new friends from people I had no idea felt the same way. If you are offended by posts that dig into the creepyness of religion, you are not madated to read them. If you think they are the only subject posted on here, I am not sure what you have been looking at, but it might be time to widen your search. I have seen (and contributed) posts on dating, cooking, recreation, sexuality and any number of other subjects, none require you to point out the hypocricy of relgions.

6

Religion is not exempt from ridicule, regardless of how many agree with it.

Marz Level 7 Apr 2, 2018
6

If any bashing or ridiculing people of faith you are reading it's just frustration with people expounding belief in myths and trying to influence others into believing. Such as TV preachers saying god has spoken to them, (albeit through their hidden earpieces), miracle cures (placebo effect), getting them to tythe their money to their ministrey promising 10 fold return from god. Xianity promoting canibalism (catholics have transubstantiation).

6

I personally have not had any horrific experiences with Christianity, but that's just me. I have also noticed the Christian bashing (even told my son he would fit right in since he is the same way). It's not for me to tell another person what they should think or believe in. If I don't like what they write, then I don't read it.

It's really that simple.

5

I ask questions on here that I don't on other sites because I feel it's a more liberal atmosphere for those questions.

I will admit that some of the questions are accusations of religious systems or people of faith. I am interested in what others have to say without the censorship of the religious masses.

5

I enjoy the irreverent banter . Satire, irony, ridicule, it all tickles my funny bone. This is how I am in every field.

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