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This photo and the article explain why so few men find girlfriends on this site:

[ifstudies.org]

BD66 8 Sep 18
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17 comments

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1

I'm not surprised that there are way more men than women who are declared non-believers. I will probably get bashed as sexist for saying this, but I think it's because of gender differences regarding how women are more relationally-oriented than men. In the sense that women are generally more concerned with seeking and maintaining relationships with a community and network of friends and relatives than men. And thus, they are less likely than men to go out on a limb and risk isolation or alienation by taking such a non-conformist path as non-belief. Because such a path means being so far outside of the mainstream that it will be much more challenging for a woman (or man) to find a community or network of like-minded people who will provide fellowship and some kind of church education for their children. So my guess is that women more than men will knuckle under and keep their non-belief to themselves or in denial so they can reap the social benefits of involvement with believer churches and religious organizations. Men are more willing to buck the mainstream and go without those benefits than women because they are less relation-oriented as well as less child-oriented.

1

I believe at one time the powers that be advertised this as a dating site, however that mindset changed quickly. Either way, I'm not here to date. I'm here to make conversation.

1

This is not a dating site. Many people join thinking it is.

1

Well that's disappointing

0

I have been in a few Pentecostal churches, and was quick to notice that the wealthiest, and most influential members of the congregation always sat in the left front pews. From there, the mayor, police chief, and other 'important' men would pick their noses, ball up the mucous, and flick it ( a ritual originating with 18th century English magistrates, who would flick their mucous at the defendents in criminal cases).
The most impoverished parishioners, as well as the residents of any homeless shelter the church supported sat in the right front pews, so the whole congregation could glare smugly at them.
In the middle pews sat the biggest sinners in town- the drunks, the dopers, the wife- beaters, the dog-beaters, etc.
Behind them sat the single adults shopping for partners.
Behind them, sat the teenagers, monkeying around with each other.
In short, regardless of your station in life, there was a section of pews just for you!
In many small towns, church becomes the focal point of socialization. And the preferred place to go, when in search of romance, or just plain monkeying around!

3

According to the chart , there are more men than women , atheist than in any religion .

1

It breaks my heart.

On dating apps, most Texas women would start with "God is #1" on their profile. First I thought they are declaring their love for God but now it may be a dating trick.

0

Is this a dating site?

It started out that way, but (as you can see from the graph) it was destined to fail, so now we post memes and argue politics.

@BD66 but the graph doesn't show the site, only demographics. Your premise is faulty. You would have to measure this site's demos, also the definition of single as described is faulty, never married and widowers only? What if you're divorced, or in an open marriage, how about a comparison with the men/women ratios in real dating sites? There's always way more men than women.

0

Ironic. The first "outed" atheist I ever met was a woman.

3

Only one thing for it, then. Go to church, mingle and let it be known you are solvent, wash regularly and currently unattached. Then pick out the women who are there more out of habit than conviction and convince them they don't need religion when instead they could be having a heavenly time with you.

Worked for me. My girlfriend wrote "Faith in God is a must" on her dating profile, but I changed her mind. 🙂

3

I guess that makes me a very well-kept secret. I'm a self-sufficient single older lady with a little property who is sort of pretty and very interesting. What I have noticed is that men my age tend to want someone two decades younger than I am. And if they will "settle" for a woman of my years, it's because they're looking for either a nurse or a purse. Or both. I am neither.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 18, 2020

Exactly!
I am in the same boat.

Men look for financial dependency? That's the first time I have ever heard it. Men may have demands, maybe high expectations but I never heard from my conversations with all male friends over 40 years that this could even a requirement. At our age, "purse" would not be an issue I would think. People usually have savings, retirement, pension, investments with fruits of 35 to 40 years of hard work behind us and inheritances etc. If anyone is not financial stable at this age, it is a serious issue.

I do not know about men with health issues. That is believable in our age group. I have also noticed often either does not want to move and change the current live he or she has. Each expects someone to drop in perfectly to suit their current life.

To me, the biggest what each looks for in a relationship ahead is:

  1. What are your obligations, relationships
  2. Really free (financially and emotionally free)?
  3. Health
  4. Lifestyle
  5. Sexual preferences
  6. Your plans to enjoy life ahead

In short, how both can complement (not match) each other and spend better years ahead.

@St-Sinner perhaps male privilege has kept you from being forced to notice, but yes, men looking for women to support them is definitely a thing. They even sometimes try to fleece women living below the poverty level, as I do.

@Deb57

I don''t think that such men privilege being common is particularly true. Some men would never do it, or never hear it, just like some women never experience abuse, beating and physical risks. Men and women experiences exist in the society but don't have to be common among individuals. Discrimination exists in all types of employment industry but that is not the receiver's own behavior. It is someone else's.

Some people are shielded due to certain behaviors associated with different social strata and varying levels of education, income, family background and types of neighborhood.

I personally have never heard of financial dependency of men on women from among the people I know. I never used food stamps, never even seen 'em but I have heard of it in the news.

@St-Sinner well, the fun thing about privilege, white or male, is that we don't really notice how much of it we enjoy if we have never had to do without it. If you're white and male, you're at the top if the food chain. You are in a position to notice that you make more money than the woman who does the same work, or that you are not in as much danger in a parking lot, or about a zillion other little things like that. People contradict you less than any other demographic on the planet, and there has never, ever been a time when you had to wait to see if the supreme court was going to award you the same rights as that other group of people enjoys. It takes a very special man to be cognizant of all that privilege all the time.

@Deb57

I agree on the white men privilege but my point was about how other men shield themselves from ills of society and behavioors with income, wealth, education, neighborhood and company. Immigrants and black included. In America money is the best friend who saves you from many ills if you make good life choices.

1

Am I reading that right? -- around 275 atheist men per 100 atheist women? -- a 2.5:1 ratio?
It's 3:1 if you include agnostics.
Even for "All Other Christian and Christian-Origin Groups" it's 2 :1.

You girls are spoiled. Ha, ha. (Or maybe more likely we men are pathetic.Lol)😋

@MissKathleen
I don't know.🤔 I believe it. Ignoring the numbers, 'pathetic' is a good word.Ha, ha.

@MissKathleen Ha, ha. These comments are getting too negative.
Someday -- Sugar Ray

2

I think it has way more to do with distance than the number of men to women. THIS site has so many people from so many different areas/countries/states which makes in person meeting difficult unless you get lucky enough to meet someone from a rather close geographic location. For me, I have met many wonderful people on here but distance & Covid have kept it from being anything more than chat friends. Also, I have noticed quite a few who believe just because they message a woman she should bow down & be enamored because she was messaged. One gets as good as one gives. mo.

1

My guess is that there are way more non-believing men than women because most women are very focused on having kids and being involved in churches so they have somewhere to take them for religious education and community with other young families. Men are more interested in just finding a partner than shopping for a place that offers things for kids and families, so they do not need a church as much for their goals. Non-believing men can find women thru many other ways than church, but churches are a convenient and widely available way for believer women to meet their wider goals for kids and family after they find a partner.

1

I'm not very good with graphs but I am not opposed to finding a girlfriend. The thing is, I'm not going to give up what I have to move in with a lady because I have a cheap mortgage. I'm also not going to drop what I have in hopes that I can control what you have. I believe in live and let live, and we each have our own property and money.

1

I think it's funny that people keep trying to figure out how to make this a dating site.

It was originally intended to be a dating site, but the results were so poor that the focus shifted to arguing politics and posting memes.

I agree. This will never be a viable dating site for most members until it's membership grows at least several times over, and in the few years I've been on here there's never been any evidence of that.

I would think any social site is a potential dating site, more so than most dating sites. You are going to find out who people really are by their posts and replies before you interact with them here more than on a regular dating site. Numbers and distance are the real problems here.

2

This is not a surprise.

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