Agnostic.com

22 15

My 89 year old mother is a strict Catholic and has known for several years that I do not believe in anything supernatural. Today as we visited she showed me a souvenir photo of John Paul II from her visit to the Vatican on April 1, 2005. She and my sister were among the last visitors to see him alive as he waved from a balcony. He died the next day.
I acknowledged that it was a special trip for them. Then I felt I had to interject that I was disappointed that he had supported (now ex-) Cardinal McCarrick and failed to address sexual abuse by him and others.
We talked about how terrible it is when people in a position of power hurt people.
I know she accepts me for who I am, however I'm sure she prays for me.
I love my mom πŸ™‚
Can you be yourself with your immediate family?

HumanBeinme 3 Nov 14
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

22 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

6

Yes, I can be and I am myself around family. Some accept me as I am, some do not.

6

Yep.
They all know.
I don't hide anything.

5

My family lives in denial. I remind them frequently. It's a dance.

5

Yes, if they accept you for who and what you are, not just as they would like you to be.

3

She's 89, nothing you say will change what she believes but it can hurt her. My mum's 93 and the same. I just accept her for who she is, prayers and beliefs, and I don't try to change her although like you I do point out the realities of religious abuses at times. Not to change her beliefs but to give her perspective. She told me today that she saw one of the yank televangelists going on about trump and she thought he was possessed by a demon 🀣🀣🀣

You are 100% right. She has a right to her beliefs and dignity. (Providing they are not preaching) Seeing the pope was a life event for her, he should have respected that and shared her joy...

3

If we cannot be 'ourselves', as in who we truly are to any others, it means to me we are in some measure still not ourselves to ourselves either. Isn't it a comfort to genuinely respect others' differences when they return respect for yours? I cherish it because it is so rare.

That whole β€œbeing me β€œ thing seems terribly selfish. While there are plenty of reasons to disagree, there are plenty of reasons to find common ground as well.

@Canndue Until or unless one actually has or becomes their optimal self, what is called 'selfish' is more often a reaction by others who lack self-love and esteem due to their own mental laziness. Seeing someone else show what they wish they had but aren't courageous enough to pursue is disturbing.

They think in terms of (usually group conditioned): "Who does that person think they are to place their self-evaluation and self-determined priorities above those dictated by others like 'the rest of us'? Its a kind of jealousy felt by those who've abdicated their own personal sovereignty in the belief that it is incumbent for ALL to follow suit.

@Silver1wun with all due respect, I am not a philosopher so this sounds like psycho-babble. I was actually agreeing with your initial post ( though admittedly it may have not come across that way - my apologies) . What I was referring to regarding selfishness, goes to the second sentence, second paragraph of the initial post. While he may have been true to himself, and correct in what he said, saying it in that context was just being an asshole. IMHO

3

I always have been truthful to my immediate family. I had some great aunts that I never discussed religion with but I don't think they were very religious anyway.

I've always felt it was important to respect other people's feelings on religion and never tried to change their beliefs. It's always about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

3

I love religious friends and family. I steer clear of religious discussions. Just as I don't like to be proselytized to, I try not to challenge someone's faith.

2

We all get along great. Very rare political or religious discussion comes up. There are, of course disagreements sometimes, but in the end we all live with our differences.

1

Yes, I can. My sister is Southern Baptist but has become surprisingly liberal in her old age. My local son is an atheist. That's about the extent of my immediate family.

1

My family are all non-religious with the exception of my one sister who goes to a "religion lite" church.She does not push it.The social aspects of that church are quite nice, I volunteer in the kitchen for their community meal. It is pleasant except for the jeezusy part. So to answer you ,yes everyone can be themselves.

1

My family knows I am an unbeliever/Atheist, but don't like it. We have all agreed to disagree on the subject of religion and simply don't talk about it.

1

Well you seem to be yourself around your mum. Of course you can be yourself around your family, unless they are fanatics.

1

I am.

1

I don't hide anything but I do tone it down with co-workers on the religious aspect. What I find strange is my daughters and a few others I know looking at Trumpism and biblical end times, then getting back into religion again.

1

My family knows about and accepts my atheism. What alienates me from them is my classical liberalism, including my rejection of regressive leftism, Marxism and Islam.

0

Always, I have not hidden my views if someone asks. I don't shout it from the rooftops but I don't hide it.

0

I don't have a family. It's been a relief.

0

Only very carefully

0

Yes it's easy as out of 7 kids all raised Catholic 6 are now atheists.Parents long gone (my mother simply followed my dad and after he died she became who she was, an agnostic). One sister can't make up her mind as she keeps switching religions (now a 7th day Adventist) but is easy to talk to. She does push her religion of the day but we just ignore her. My dad never really forced religion on us but did send us to parochial school.

0

With a few of them. My father is a die-hard mormon. I don't argue with him about it. It works for him, so he is welcome to it. He knows I don't want anything to do with religion. He doesn't like it, but he lets me do my thing.

0

This was weighing on me heavily today.

Since I left our church, my family has treated me more respectfully overall. But they also stopped inviting me to family functions for a while. They've begun including me again the past couple years but I'm not sure I trust them.

Emotional abuse was the norm in my home during my childhood but we treated other people respectfully. I don't know if my family has changed or if they are just treating me like an outsider because I'm no longer a member of their church.

Either way, the answer is no, I can't really be myself around them. To a certain extent, I'm able to be more myself than ever before but I can't speak openly about my beliefs. Hell, just drinking coffee breaks my mom's heart.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:552828
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.