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Anyone wanna exchange jokes?

Waywardson 3 Apr 12

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1

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, I can’t stop singing Green, Green Grass of Home.” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome,” the doctor replies. “Is it common,” the man asks? “It’s Not Unusual,” the doctor answers.

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If anyone would be willing to exchange a different joke for Donald Trump, I'd be willing to go along with it.

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Normally I would, but my jokes are “mint-in-box”.

2

What do you call an agnostic dyslexic insomniac?
Someone why stays up at night wondering if there is a dog.

0

One co-worker asks another, “are you going to bible study tonight?”

I said, “why bother? That book have not changed in years.”

True story

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I am laughing so hard. Too bad I cannot remember any jokes,ever. Keep them coming!

5

An old cowboy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to the cowboy and asked... “Are you a real cowboy?” He replied, “ Well, I’ve spent my whole life workin cows, breakin colts, goin to rodeos, fixin fences pullin calves, bailin hay, cleanin my barn, workin on a tractor and feedin my dog, so I guess I’m a cowboy.” She said, “ I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinkin about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women, when I shower, I think about women, when I watch TV I think about women, I even think about women when I eat. It seems everything I do makes me think about women”.
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later a man sat down on the other side of the cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”

Tomas Level 7 Apr 12, 2018
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A blind guy wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while he yells to the bartender, “hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent, in a very deep, husky voice the woman next him says, “before you tell that joke sir, I think it’s only fair, since you’re blind you should know five things: 1). The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat. 2) The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3). I’m a 6’ tall 175 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. 4) The woman next to me is blond and a professional wrestler. 5) The lady to your right is a professional weightlifter.
Now, think about it mister... do you still wanna tell that joke ? The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, “No... not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Hey, I don’t write em, I just repeat em...

Tomas Level 7 Apr 12, 2018
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Guy walks into a bank... walks up to the teller, pulls out a gun, says give me all the money, teller gives him the money, then shoots and kills the teller, turns and asks the guy behind hime if he saw anything, guy says no, asks the next guy, says no, I didn’t see anything, and the next guy, no, I didn’t see anything... but my wife did. (or my mother-law... or a lady walks into a bank...)

Tomas Level 7 Apr 12, 2018
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Q. How many hipsters does it take to change a light globe?

A. I could tell you, but you would never have heard of the number.

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my son came up with this one when he was little, who knows tho, could have been around already. how do you get rid of slugs?

Byrd Level 7 Apr 12, 2018

you a-salt them

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Sure thing! I'll trade you 3 knock knocks, for your rare meme

1

What do you call a guy that hangs out with musicians? A drummer.

What do you call the guy that delivers pizzas? A guitar player.

You know the difference between a guitarist and an extra large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

I'll tell Charlie Watts you said that!, and Tomas: I'll tell Keith Richards!

@jioo087 Don't get me wrong, I have a sincere respect for drummers, and as a former percussionist, I do recognize the intricacies within the field. Neil Pert is one of my favorite musicians of all time. My original comment was a joke, not meant to be taken seriously. Please don't take it as a personal sleight against drummers or percussionists.

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I would love to, but if you can believe it...I can never remember even a great joke, much past the time I first hear one! I have heard jokes that crack me up...and I can't even remember them to amuse myself later! I have no idea what that is about? Put some here and I will delight in them...

4

Maybe.

Does the Donald have breath to hold...would be my question?

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