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I experienced proof of prayer today.

A few hours ago, I lost phone, cable and internet service. I need all these services so I prayed that they be restored and within 45 mins a truck from Spectrum arrived and went to work. A half hour or so after that ALL these services were restored!

We're wrong, prayer DOES work so there must be a God!

I see it all so clearly now.

Sgt_Spanky 8 Mar 20
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12 comments

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1

Or just call Spectrum. It usually works much better than bullshit praying.

3

Something tells me you prayed through a phone or something else in order to get it sorted... Lol!!!

4

This post and your responses to comments are really funny! So are comments of those who get your satire. Unfortunately, some of we atheists take ourselves too seriously to get the humor…

That's part of the fun. I had to reassure two people over messenger tonight that I was only kidding.

5

That happened to me once but one time it took 6 hours. Maybe I had a hidden sin?

God forgives all your sins. Maybe you just caught him on the pot. God takes forever in the bathroom.

4

Gotta love these shit posts for being so stupid.

Jesus teaches me that I must love my enemies so I love you...shithead.

6

Nope, prayers don’t work, trump and his cohorts are still free...

4

No no no. That's Murphy. He's the supernatural being that governs all things electronic. He's actually considered considered devil in my job because his law sucks.

2

What fuck happen to you? Scared yourself?

I've seen the Holy Light and I am transformed! He hath restored my services unto me. Praise Him!

@Sgt_Spanky. 😂😂😂😂😃😃😃 yeah right 😂😂😂😃😃😃

@Sgt_Spanky. Better change your profile, it doesn't match your new found delusion.

@MrDragon I'm not sure how long my newfound salvation will last so I'd better just leave my profile as is.

@Sgt_Spanky Well , I suggest no more than another f five minutes , or I am sending 911 at your house ! U are having a slow brain aneurysm or covid delirium !!
Then again , could be just drugs . Man , I don’t know which of the 3 is worse to be honest !!!

@Pralina1 My atheism was a 911 call and God responded. Now I am healed!

@Sgt_Spanky ok . What can I say then , wow .

@Sgt_Spanky. Okay, good luck with that.

1

Was the prayer by any chance on a cellphone to Spectrum to report the fault ?. That type of prayer tends to work best.

No, that's what makes it even more incredible. They were sent and I didn't even call them. Clearly GOD sent them.

@Sgt_Spanky He's bound to have wifi. He probably emailed them

6

I am concerned .
I want u to go at local ED and request a CT of the head and neck . I prefer an MRI as well.

Non believer! You will burn forever! I'll pray for you.

Don't worry he's just a Xian troll

@Sgt_Spanky where is my friend and what have u done w him ???? Don’t make me come there and hit u on the head . U know I will 😂🦇

@Pralina1 I'm doing this so you will come and hit me on the head. Afterwards we'll go out for drinks. 😉

3

That being so, why did god fuck up the cable service he knows you need in the first place? Does he just like to hear people beg?

Yep 😉

I believe so. He's all-powerful but he's also kind of a dick.

@Sgt_Spanky No doubt here. 🙂

3

I still go with Jim Morrison, "You cannot petition the Lord, with prayer!!".

Maybe the tipping point is numbers. I seem to remember we're required to get three or more.

Morrison was drunk/high 24/7. He was never sober enough to dispense life advice. Great musician though.

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