We absolutely should agree. The problem is that too few of us know of these innate differences. I have had the talk of why can't guys just listen from women many times and most of us, from both genders still don't understand the communication differences.

@JackPedigo But it is not just communication. We just don't think the same on any topic !

@VAL3941 There are some topics we agree on and my last relationship was proof to me, and her. But still efforts have to be made.

@JackPedigo We weren't discussing topics, it is people we are concerned about. We can agree on topics but men and women don't think alike

This is such non sense it is people that don't think alike due to conditioning and life experience there is no male female divide except in learned conditioned responses indoctrination we are all much more alike than any of us seem to be able to acknowledge if we can break through our social conditioning and find our true self.

@RichardTaylor Yes Doctor !

sorry @VAL3941 this was supposed to be a comment on the whole premise not against your comment which i agree with we are all both wired slightly differently

@RichardTaylor accepted and no offense taken. I was just being sarcastic. ?

It is a struggle for most guys. We feel if we don't do or say something it means we don't care. Perhaps, in some instances a message needs to be sent to please just listen but butt out!

@JackPedigo That is why I put it in quotation marks: because I would literally say that; I have literally said that.

In my last relationship when I said that, my (ex-)bf responded that he couldn't fulfill my request because of the socialization you mentioned. That was a huge red flag: he was telling me that he believed his paradigms were insurmountable, such that he couldn't even begin to make an effort to meet me in my space. Meanwhile, I'm a person who understands that all mental formations are impermanent, therefore changeable. That was a big moment for me of realizing this was not a person I wanted to be with.

Feeling the need to "fix" problems is a mental formation that is socialized into people. It's a psychological meme that has the illusory credibility of longevity and a sexualized flavor--which gives it a certain appeal to many. It's not real. It's not permanent. You have a choice. Don't want to admit that you have choices, have power over your own mind? Then you are not someone with which I care to be close.

@stinkeye_a A lot of your comment I agree with. To me the meaning of LIFE is to evolve and we humans do that through knowledge and learning how to adapt. It does sound funny to say one breaks up with another because the other cares too much. In this case I agree. BTW I had a former GF (but now still best friend) whose name was Jill. We told people we broke up because we got tired of the Jack & Jill stories/jokes!

My late partner and I had many conversations on this. It got to where if she would want help aside from just venting she would say "can you help me"? Plain and simple.

^^This

True, there are exceptions but this one is all too common. I have this tendency and so do most of the other males I know.

@JackPedigo Perhaps it's because I know, and have dated men younger than me, where this was definitely not a tendency. Sometimes those people we're exposed to help form our views ...

@evergreen A lot of basic instincts can be unlearned but it takes information and practice.

I think more males need to get in touch with their feminine side and visa-versa.

I think if stereotypes are 'always' wrong then we could never be able to understand problems. As I said in one of my previous comments, I have this tendency and so do most of the males I know. A lot of women, including my late partner complained about this issue with men.

I disagree. Women are too often taught to nurture the males. The males are brought up to be independent and take charge. There are things that are gender specific nature.

@JackPedigo I don't think you understand what I said.

Nature versus nurture is an argument about what traits were born with as opposed to what we learn.

You stated that you disagree, but your statement doesn't contradict what I wrote.

@JimG I understand the terms. I tried to convey that I feel this is an instinct in males so it is nature not nurture for our gender. I think there is a communications snafu (haven't used that word in ages).

Afuckingmen! This shit gets tiresome!

We constantly interact and for that interaction to go smoothly it is important we understand what drives individual and genders. Without, cohesive communication we would be in even worse shape than we are presently.

Nonsense.

Don't believe every bullshit you read.

i don't mean really for goodness sake, mars is seen as male, venus is seen as female, i think each if anything each individual is a balance of those principles, i have met plenty women who just need to find solutions and fix things!!!!

Lots. Often they are not complaints but just feelings.

@JackPedigo Wow.