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Well just wanted to talk to yall for a minute. The woman I've been going with for the last 1.5 years has decided that she wants to break up. The reason being she is a Baptist and goes to church, while I'm an atheist she thought she could get me back in church but I have no desire to go to church and I'm not searching for god .

bradholland10 5 Apr 23

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53 comments (26 - 50)

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6

Bummer dude.

Sometimes people think that they can fix the other person in the relationship. Almost never happens...

6

I'm sorry, I know this break up must be painful for you. If you are wondering why or her answer makes no sense...I was raised Independent, Fundamental Baptist & there is a ton of pressure on women to not be "unequally yoked" (being with a non-believer) because...once married, if the non-believer husband tells the wife she is not to go to church, as a good, christian wife, she must be submissive to & obey her husband, if she wants to please God. In order not to be separated from her "church family & the house of worship", she will cut herself off from "worldly things & people". I would love to say I'm joking...

I agree about the pressure on women. I don't know about pressure on men, but my marriage ended a few years after I deconverted. My partner said we were unequally yoked, and pushed me away. I said fuck that and asked for a divorce. He was never very religious, per se, but he was a traditional Southern Baptist and being an atheist in the bible belt is taboo.

6

Baptist? RUN. Run and be happy you didn't get trapped.

6

Sorry to hear that. It's better that you learn that now rather than later down the road. It still sucks though.

5

Sorry Brad. I was dense enough to go down that road with the same results as yours. But at least I did get some good sinful and shameful sex out of the relationship, not to mention one great cat that outlived the relationship by 16 years.

5

I'm sorry about your situation. Was she trying to "witness" to you more over the past few months? Did you see this coming?

5

Sorry Brad.

5

Sorry to hear that, man. Seems like you were pretty up front about your lack of belief, but she thought she could influence you. It's a shame...

5

It might just be a ploy to get you to go to church but that would be a deal breaker for me as well. A loving relationship is based upon mutual respect and trust, so that would be the end of that, sorry it didn't work out for you.

5

I’ve been on both sides of the breakup game. Be happy you got an explanation. As you may know, the explanation you got may not be the truth. The fact is that she wants out. If you like her, heck, there might be another one just like her in the same church or in a different one. Cut your losses. Take it easy. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. #breakup #religion #incompatibility #excuse #blamegame

5

Sorry man. That really sucks. On to bigger and better things.

4

Be grateful this came to light now. The push to convert is most likely only one thing she wants to change, and bring your age change is not likely to happen. I found a deist and we match up well. Will have been together 25 years next month without one push on my religious views.

4

You can't change crazy. On edit. That is why I am grateful for this place. I am not entirely certain I want to get into a relationship again. But I know, for a certainty, I do not want to even date a religious crazy. I was a trial member of another Atheist site but it was fairly expensive for the premium services, which was the only way you could really communicate.

4

There are fish in the sea that don't have fish on their bumbers.

4

Without knowing more I can't give an opinion, oh, wait. Yeah, there's no redeeming quality in that woman. Help her pack only to speed her butt out the door.

3

I am sorry you are hurting, but I don't think it will ever work out if her goal is to change you. It's a shame it has taken her this long to realize how strong your opinion about this is.

3

I feel like it’s wrong to say”you’re better off “ but that’s how I see it. If she wanted to change it probably wasn’t going to stop with church going.

Essie Level 6 Apr 24, 2018
3

I'm sorry about that loss.

3

That sucks. I'm so sorry.

3

In the words of Billy Joel, "I love you just the way you are." Run, don't walk away from this woman. Religion and relationships, Catholics not wanting to marry Protestants and vice versa, and all the other religious crap I heard growing up were things that made me see the light.

3

The relationship was doomed. Be thankful you are free.

2

Women, sadly, often think they can change men, whether it is an alcohol or violence problem, or whether it is beliefs. It takes a long time for them to learn, often with sad consequences. The best thing for you to do is walk away and hope for better luck next time.

2

That sucks. I'm sorry that happened to you.

1

What a convenient excuse to end a relationship that no longer works for her!

1

So what`s the problem? You've had a lucky escape. She's wasted your time, but onwards and upwards - don't waste any more on her.

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