7 6

It has to be a Monday.
The village Idiot, aka Evangeloon, is in a mad panic atm, for 2 main reasons,

  1. He arrived home later than usual, so he just informed me about 25 minutes ago, because he taking part in some obscure pre-Easter religious rite/celebration and they spent a number of hours praying according to him,
  2. in his haste to get to bed and get some sleep so that he can, illegally imo cheat uon the Department of Social Security and the rest of all us decent Australians, he forgot to switch off the lights of his vehicle but remembered to shut off the engine though.
    Yes his vehicle is an older model which does not have the facility/capacity to automatically switch off the lights once the engine is switched off.
  3. he has 2, , sets of keys that he carries with him, 1 set being the keys to his house, the other being a separate set for his vehicle, which he left locked in the vehicle last night as well.
    His BIG dilemma, he IS due at a home where he is booked to COMPLETE the job he undertook LAST week on Wednesday, to trim shrubs, mow the lawns and sweep the paths at precisely 9.30 am this morning and it is now 9.23am and he cannot get in to his vehicle WITHOUT smashing yet another window as he has done a few times before under similar circumstances.
    Now, given that his vehicle is of the older type, I could simply assist him by showing a method tried and tested that WILL open a door WITHOUT destroying a window but hey, it is HIS problem, his stupidity so why should I infer and meddle with the machinations of Karma.
Triphid 9 Apr 10

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Let him pray the door open! After all, god performs in mysterious ways and he puts in a lot of time worshiping him. Should be worth a little miracle like getting his car door open and the battery jumped! 😂⚡️


Even when he gets in there is a good chance the battery is flat.

Crossing my finger as we type of course.
Little does he know and NEVER shall he find out that I keep a fully charged Car Battery on standby here just in case someone has a battery failure around the neighbourhood and they ask for my help.
Sadly, IF it ever comes to the Jesus Jockey next door, then my answer will be a DEFINITE " NO such Luck."


Oh dear.

Poor, distressed Evangaloon.

Yes, I am shedding copious amounts of tears at the very moment, don't tell anyone please, but they are tears of laughter, silent laughter but laughter none-the-less.


Oh by all means, don't ''interfere''.

Exactly, because interfering is rude. 🙂

@anglophone Yes, it is, & who wants to be rude?

@Lilac-JadeCanada Most definitely NOT me so as you can guess, I have done NOTHING and I told him to call in locksmith or just buy a big heavy hammer because he is NOT borrowing ANYTHING from my tool kits, not ever and not even over HIS dead body.

@Triphid Time he solved his own dilemmas.

A sledge hammer works well.
The locks froze and needed to get to work.
Window already had bad crack so replacement was inevitable.
I keep 2nd set of car&house keys in purse should I lock 1st set in car.

@AnonySchmoose Yes, handy tool, that.

@Lilac-JadeCanada Exactly what I've been thinking and TRYING to get the F***wit, excuse the French, to do for the last 9 years.

@Lilac-JadeCanada Actually his mother could have prevented the entire dilemma by simply keep her knees crossed and held tightly together the night he was most unfortunately conceived, imo.

@Triphid Very true.

@AnonySchmoose Yes, but like the rest of us YOU are intelligent, I even have spare sets of house keys secreted in special places outside the house in case of emergencies and most INTELLIGENT people I know ALWAYS have a spare set of keys for both theie house and their vehicle on them and with them at all times.
Maybe it is because We, the brainy ones know better than to place our trust in the magical, miraculous, totally invisible and imaginary Sky Daddy perhaps.

@Triphid I have a set, my husband has a set, there is a set on the kitchen wall hooks, our kids have a set each, & 2 of our neighbours have a set. Do you think we're covered?

@Lilac-JadeCanada More than amply covered.


Your stories about him make me laugh.

Would you like, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE like to , as the old Coke A Cola ads used to say, " Try the Real Thing, I could TRY to arrange for him to come and stay with you for a while, 6 or 12 months perhaps, no offense meant by the way, but this neighbourhood does need a Evangelidiot Free Holiday.

@Triphid You'd even help him pack, I'm sure.

@Lilac-JadeCanada Oh most definitely and chances are very high that the entire neighbourhood would be lining up to help him pack as well.


I guess the devil made him do it. lol
If his head wasn't attached he would probably lose that too.

Betty Level 8 Apr 10, 2022

True, but I think the space between his ears was never filled.

@anglophone Precisely my own opinion regarding him as well.


I guess it's way beyond his wit to keep a second car key in his house.

You should realize by now that such a thing is ONLY done by the truly intelligent people in this world and, imo, when they were handing out the brains in his family he may well have thought they said "trains" and responded with a resounding " None for me thanks."

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