It wasn't easy telling my family that I'm gay. I made my carefully worded announcement at Thanksgiving. It was very Norman Rockwell. I said, “Mom, would you please pass the gravy to a homosexual?” She passed it to my father. A terrible scene followed.
~ Comedian Bob Smith
Hilarious! Really, quite funny. Now, did it really go down like that, Mr. Smith?
OK, so here's another joke:
A man suspected his son was skipping school to smoke weed, so he put a lie detector on the dinner table and asked his son if he'd been at school that day.
His son claimed that he had, and the lie detector machine beeped. So the man asked again and his son admitted he'd been smoking weed behind the mall all afternoon.
The man was indignant and confronted his son; "Why did you do that? I have never done such a thing!" and the machine beeped again.
His wife laughed, and told the son, "He's your father, all right!"
and the machine beeped again.