Confessions of an ex-Altar Boy
For three years starting when I was a pre-teen to my early teenage years I was an altar boy for God's Holy Roman Catholic church in the small town where I grew up. I assisted not only with the weekly Sunday Mass but with weddings, funerals, confirmations, baptisms, Novena, Easter, Xmas, and whatever else was going on.
I had cues during the ceremony where I would bring stuff to the priest, ring the chimes, take stuff away, ring the chimes again and generally make myself useful in service to God...or so I thought at the time. I have to confess: it was fun. It was like being part of the cast of a show and for the years I did it, I didn't question any of it. God was real, I was his servant and I was going to Heaven for sure. I spent a lot of time in the Rectory,where the priest lived. He had his own cook and housekeeper. Both were nice ladies. The cook's food was amazing. That woman could make roadkill delicious.
It wasn't lost on me how easy the priest's life was He didn't have to pay for any of this high living. Apart from having to write a sermon each week, everything else he did was on auto pilot. He knew it in his sleep. I was alone with him on numerous occasions and he never raped me. He didn't even flirt so either he was one of the few normal priests or I was an ugly kid with no sex appeal. Whatever the reason, I was never touched by anyone. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or insulted by this.
I used to snack on the Eucharist when no one was looking. It had no taste and the sacramental wine was cheap but I considered helping myself to this stuff to be a job perk. I look back fondly on these days until I was about 15 when I quit because doubt had crept into my brain and started me down this heathen path making me the blasphemous, godless wretch I've been ever since.
This is why religion doesn't approve of critical thinking, they lose people over it.
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8 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.The problem is the cover up in the catholic church. Not all priests are pedophiles and molesters, it's just a small percentage who keeps doing it, and then they are sent to another parish where the continue to molest children until they get reassigned to another church. Just like crimes that are committed in society. It's a small percentage who are doing the crimes over and over again.
noworry28
Level 8
May 4, 2023
1
I too was an altar boy (for a short while). We had to go through training and once a couple of us were on the sideline and then I felt someone shaking me and telling me to get up. I kept saying I don't want to go to school. At some point I had fainted and the others were trying to get me to get up. Funny, the priest never asked me to serve. We were trained to pour wine into the chalice and the priest would let the wine go over his fingers. We were told one of the priests would keep us pouring until the chalice was almost full. There were probably a lot of alcoholic priests in the church.
jackjr
Level 7
May 4, 2023
3
My only experience with a Catholic survivor was marrying a girl who had been abused by multiple people, multiple times in Catholic school. It took her three years of therapy until she could have sex without crying. (But, when she did it, she was damn good at it.)
mischl
Level 8
May 4, 2023
1
I have a friend who has "joked" about his priest not going after him because he was chubby (that priest was a pedophile). I just remind my friend that his dad was a merchant marine who would scared the fuck out of anyone.
Beowulfsfriend
Level 9
May 4, 2023
0
It's refreshing to hear a real story from a former altar boy who wasn't molested. My oldest brother was an altar boy 55-60 years ago. I was too young to understand why he quit, but I got the impression that he left because of witnessing or maybe hearing rumors about inappropriate actions by one of our priests.
For some reason, we liked two of our priests, and had them to dinner frequently, but our family barely made eye contact with the other one. Never knew why.
My oldest sister worked in the rectory as a part time housekeeper or some sort of job as a teenager, and never had any complaints that I know of. Good to know that not ALL the priests had questionable behavior or secretive devious intent, at least not ALL the time. 
Julie808
Level 8
May 4, 2023
3
It all depends on who you get. Some priests are pervs, fortunately, mine wasn't.
I was an altar boy too and I gratuitously and needlessly add the vast majority of priests don't rape or even molest anyone! But some do, of course. Let them marry so they can beat their wives, I say! Why not, at the very least, let them marry nuns? Or each other?!?
I too have a few nostalgic memories, like tramping through the squeaky snow at 5:30 a.m. on February mornings...how I was an altar boy or In the choir, no clue. At 15 I realized God would never send me to hell, and that was that.
Storm1752
Level 8
May 4, 2023
2
I agree, let em' marry. It's a ridiculous requirement that they must be celebate. What does God care if his footmen are getting some or not? Not nuns, though. I grew up with nuns around me and I only remember one who was young and pretty. Sister Bernice. I still remember her name.
@Sgt_Spanky About nuns I harbored lesbian fantasies, may God strike me dead.
@Sgt_Spanky The only kind of meat a priest eats is NUN!!
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