I'm feeling a wee bit melancholy this evening. Okay, let's be honest, I'm feeling sorry for myself. My ex has moved on, and after almost two years, I still miss him, and what we had. I've been trying to be, if not a friend, at least friendly toward him. So.....all this being said, I'm listening to Fado music (Amalia Rodrigues is my favorite! Picked up one of her CDs while in Portugal a few years ago). It always makes me feel worse when I'm feeling sad. Yes, I'm a glutton for punishment! My question tonight is: what is your "go to" music when feeling down. The music you chose can either make you feel better, or like me, make you want to open a vein! Do tell, as misery loves company, my friends!
Listening to upbeat, happy music doesn't get me to happy, but oddly torch songs do. They let me wallow just enough, make me feel understood and that somehow my burden is shared. At the very least they remind me that someone always has it worse. And voila! Not sure it works for everyone, but it's my fastest way to happy (or content, or at peace...)
Sirens of Song: Classic Torch Singers [g.co]
Makes sense to me!!
I think we all understand the feeling of wanting to wallow in melancholy. However, it struck me at one point, while playing my tiny violin, that if "practise makes perfect" then it would be in my best interest to spend more time with emotions that serve me better. A change of thought, the reframing of a situation and the desire to feel good changed the game for me. It made sense that if I practised these things instead, I felt good all the time, with many fewer exceptions.
You felt fine up until the moment you learned your ex had moved on. Sure, you miss him, but you're okay. Nothing had changed prior to learning of his having moved in, than the knowledge of it. You're just as great, smart and capable as you've always been. No one holds the remote, controlling that, - certainly not your ex.
When something is getting to me, the music I choose either makes me smile, or makes me want to dance!
"If You Really Love Me" by Stevie Wonder
"Time of Our Lives" by Pitbull
"Follow You, Follow Me" by Genesis
The warming and "soul" feeding wallow always goes to the James Taylor White album.
You are not alone. I listen Sting's Desert Rose and John Mayer's Gravity and Edge of Desire, Evanescence, Lana Del Rey, when I feel the same way. And the one and only "The Division Bell".
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It has to suck. I try to put on music that makes me feel better but in moments I think about my nephew who was shot and killed I play Mumford and Sons, one of his favorite bands and just bawl like a baby.
Wallowing in pain and sadness isn't always a bad thing. We move on, but sometimes it feels right. Sorry about your nephew, and thanks for GETTING IT.
My go-to song to raise my mood immediately is the Doobie Brothers ~ What A fool Believes (1979)
Even better..Hugh Masekela - Grazing in the Grass
When something ends, what we miss is what we thought it was; seldom what it actually was or the other person would still be connected.
To cheer up or just to start the day and get the 'blood moving' I love to listen to the Jeffersons Theme' 'Movin' on Up'.
I know how you feel. I kicked my ex out 5 years ago. I've not had one relationship since (although I tried like hell to be slutty - just didn't work for me). I like Any Winehouse, kd lang, Edith Piaf...
Live music always does it for me Rand B or rock and roll.
I also love music which opens a vein. Eagles “Wasted Time,” Jackson Browne really makes me weep. Late For The Sky, Fountain Of Sorrow, Sky Blue And Black, I’m Alive, Here Comes Those Tears Again (though now I hear it as my ex talking to me because her pain prevents any contact). All and more are great. Linkin Park’s A Thousand Suns works out the anger, especially Burning In The Skies, but that might be more of a male’s song. In fact, they might all be. I’m a male and our perspective is probably different.
Nothing wrong with different perspectives!
I have quite a few different go-to bands for different moods I'm in. Alice in Chains is one of those bands that makes me feel better when I'm down. Their songs are usually dark and depressing, but the fact that they so easily express the troubles and frustrations one often has trouble describing can be rather comforting.
I had the Jar of Flies CD years ago .Layne Staley had an amazing voice.
Rotten Apple is one of my favorite songs....haunting, and creepily beautiful.
The b-52's. I can't be sad long when I listen to them. And I will not feed a sad mood.whats the point in that. Usually if I feel like being sad is the emotion I have and need at the time I just don't listen to music or watch tv or computer at all. But sometimes I will play my violin but I try to play loud and strong which helps the mood pass. Sometimes being sad or missing something that's been lost is just what we need to deal with. I hope you will find new love. Please just keep trying and never give up.
You are sweet; thank you!
Morrissey, he's so over the top that you have to laugh at yourself
I always turn to the blues.....this one in particular.
First, go make new memories. My experience with the situation you describe is that you are suffering because of the distance between what is happening and your conditioned mind from before. Go do cool stuff pronto and this will pass.
Anders Osbourne has done some work that helped me through some stuff. Peter Gabriel, of course... If it gets too bad, zappa did a great song about broken hearts. I just have to stay away from Pink Floyd because, while I love that band, I'm convinced that it would make me suicidal to hear too much of it.
Hang in there!
Trust me, I haven't been listening to this music for two years straight....just last night. Thanks for the tip.
Sometimes we don’t want to get over it right away. We want to reflect, feel, allow ourselves some grief, learn whatever might be new to learn from what went wrong, and then move on. In those times the music takes us on a journey that feels comforting.
There's a song from Marilyn Manson's new album called "Blood Honey." that describes how my wife treated me perfectly. One of the main line lyrics goes "You only say that you want me when I'm upside down." A lot of Manson songs dealing with fucked up relationships actually resonate with me in fact. "Just A Car Crash Away" "If I was Your Vampire" "Third Day of a Seven Day Binge" to name a few.