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The gist of my latest spammer conversation:

Ring! Ring! I answer my phone and a woman says in a foreign accent, "Is this Gwendolyn?"

I ask, "Who are you and why do you want to know?"

I can hear other scammers talking in the background.

"I am your Medicare provider. How are you doing and may god bless you."

"I am an atheist--don't ask god to bless me."

Nervous laugh. "OK, I am your Medicare provider and have some questions and information for you."

"My Medicare provider tends to email me and callers always identify themselves right away. If you are my provider, what is the name of the provider?"

"I am your provider."

"Then what is the name of the provider? Why are you calling me and what what do you want?"

Nervous laugh and no name. "I want to tell you about medical supplies in Florida."

"I don't need to know about supplies in Florida. My provider allows me to order anything I want online. What do you want? I teach online and am grading. You are wasting my valuable time. What is the name of my provider?"

More nervous laughter. "OK, you have a good day."

"Yeah, you, too."

Her reaction to me being an atheist was priceless. I am sure no one ever refused her "god bless" before.

Gwen_Wanderer 7 Feb 17
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6 comments

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2

Well done G! 😎👍

6

Yep, I often get generic, bank, gas supplier, etc. and especially "your internet service" they never know the name of the company. Though you would think it, not that hard for them to employ a hacker to find out. The only time I did nearly fall for one, was when they had hacked a company that I did deal with, and got the list of account holders.

Though there are some who name a company, usually Microsoft, or Amazon. Which is not very clever because I have never had an Amazon account, but it is nice of them to let me know that there is something wrong with my non existent account, that is dedication. One good ploy if you have time, is to keep them talking till they give up or start to worry you are up to something, at least they can't annoy someone else. Another, is to pretend you don't speak English, or that the person they want is out, and make a great fuss over trying to find them, or pretend to be a robot, and ask them mechanical questions. I am also told that some, male persons especially, find talking sex works well and gets a quick hang up, but you need courage for that.

I've had emails about nonexistent accounts, but no phone calls. However, I have had callers who asked me to confirm my name for accounts I do have. I told them that THEY called me and should know my name. They said it was for security purposes. I told one my name was "Jehoshaphat." He asked me how to spell it and I told him--I know it was not spelled correctly as I have to use spellcheck to get it right now. He said, "Oh, yes, I found you!" He never asked if it were my first or last name which I was hoping because I was going to say it was my surname and my first name was "Jumping." I called him out on it and he hung up.

@Fernapple I remember when I was a teenager and still living at my parents house, I answered a prank caller. When I answered the phone he started breathing heavily and I turned it around on him and said oh you sound so hot, I bet your good in bed, so on and so forth, he hung up on me and my mom was looking at me like WTF!!! I started laughing and told her what happened, she said I was crazy! Lol!!!

@michelle666gar I once told a phone spammer that he had a "sexy voice" and I bet he had to beat women off with a stick. He giggled. I went on to ask him what he was wearing and if he could take off his clothes. He said he couldn't because he was in a room with other callers. I lead him on for a few more minutes, telling him what I would do to him if we met, and hung up. From the sound of his voice, I bet he had some uncomfortable minutes until his erection subsided.

@Gwen_Wanderer Fun times! We should always have a fun time with these spam callers, it will make our days brighter and they have a story to tell! 😂😂😂

@michelle666gar had another one day--she couldn't pronounce my name correctly and hung up on me when I asked her if she were asking to speak to the "window."

@Gwen_Wanderer 😂😂😂

7

which God was supposedly blessing you? it is a large selection if you get to chose.

I will save that question for the next one!

6

This sounds like calls I get. I always hear a strange click noise and then they start speaking, obviously English is not their first language. I go thorough things with them much like you do. Sometimes I hear all of the above and then they hang up the minute they hear my voice.

When I have time, I like to play with them. Once, a guy called me and when I started badgering him, he started badgering back. He finally hung up!

9

My daughter tells them, they owe her money once they give her some name. She says oh yeah Carol you owe me $500, happy you called, pay me now and they hang up quickly, I'm going to start using that one!

Ask them why they don't get an honest job slaughtering cows and making hamburgers so people there can eat.... That really upsets them...

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I have asked them, "Is your mother proud of you scamming people or is she working with you also scamming people?" They are very offended.

@Gwen_Wanderer I told one his mother had asked me to tell him she wants him to help her on her street corner because she was getting chapped lips from sucking so much cock... He must have been screaming at me for at least 5 minutes before his boss started yelling at him and cut us off. I bet there were a lot of people who might have otherwise been victims of that call center that over heard that and cut the others off.

@Lizard_of_Ahaz @Gwen_Wanderer 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@michelle666gar I love dynamiting fish in a barrel...

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I have insinuated as much, but just not so . . . graphic!

@Gwen_Wanderer I love instant fish fillets....

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Now I want fish!

@michelle666gar I don't eat cows or pigs but eat fish and fowl. Unfortunately, I grew up on the north coast of Cali and do not care for freshwater fish. I live in MO now and I also don't like frozen fish.

@Gwen_Wanderer The fish I usually eat is in sushi.

@michelle666gar Love sushi but I haven't eaten in ages. The best restaurant is waaaaaaaaaaaay across town.

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I loved fish sticks as a kid. I probably still would if I allowed myself to eat them.

@Gwen_Wanderer Ah man! I haven't had sushi in a while, haven't had time to go eat at a restaurant for it.

@michelle666gar treat yourself!

7

I love that you told her not to bless you with any god! I do that too when people say God bless you to me. 😉

Usually, I let it go when I am in public, but she was deliberately trying to appeal to me and establish her "Christian" attitude while trying to scam me.

@Gwen_Wanderer And yet she is a Hindu.... Learn to take advantage of that if you do it right they get all butthurt and start cussing up a storm...

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Long ago, when Yahoo had chats, I was consistently hit on by Muslim and Hindu men. I would tell the Muslims that they masturbated while reading the Koran and they would say they would send someone to kill me. (Note, I am still alive.) I would tell the Hindus that Kali was my sovereign goddess and she was angry that they were being disrespectful to a woman. I added that marigolds were her flower and that night when they slept, they would awaken to the smell of marigolds and know she had come to punish them. They would immediately stop talking to me--even thought some professed to be Xtian.

@Gwen_Wanderer Remember Yahoo Answers?... I was infamous there and was constantly getting death threats from all over the world. My IP address showed as a cemetery plot in LA even if they could figure out how to hack the internal message system like I had. I had a Muslim threaten me once who was working the oil fields in Saudi Arabia so I sent him a Google Earth picture of his location with superimposed cross hairs on it.... Scared the living shit out of the little bastard he was begging me not to kill him . I guess he thought I was some kind of drone operator or had my finger in the launch button of a cruise missile...

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I don't remember Yahoo answers! I do remember a Muslim man telling me that his cousin lived in Chicago and would come to get me soon. He never showed up.

I never had the know-how to do what you did, but the Muslim guys always said that they "knew" where I lived. Obviously, the death threats were not carried out.

I also told Xtian guys who hit on me that I was a nun in disguise sent by the Pope to evangelize people. A couple of guys apologized for the graphic things they had messaged to me. One said that he always wanted to "do it" with a nun. I found that hilarious--I don't know if he were serious or realized that I was not a nun.

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