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Someone asked me privately why I was
A) following so many people so quickly after joining agnostic and
B) why the vast majority, by some margin, of those I’m following are women, particularly women who state that they’re open to meeting men

Well; A) because I like to get as big a picture of what and whom I’m joining as quickly as possible, so rapidly sought out those I thought I had the most in common with;
And B) because I’ve always related more strongly to the female psyche than the male, since I was a child. I am aware that one of the aims of agnostic is as a potential dating site, one of the reasons I joined. And I use the match ratings for that, but, importantly, mostly as a means of identifying those whom I might have the most in common with. It’s definitely not because, as was mentioned, I appear to be a bit of a predator. I’m not daft - the vast majority of the people I’m following live too far away from me, often by some distance, for dating to be practical from a logistics viewpoint. Even the most determined predator would be hard pressed! I’m in conversation with only three people, and the other party started one of those. And that’s as much as I can cope with.
Sorry if this sounds overly sensitive and defensive, but I’d be mortified if others were thinking the same as the person who brought it up with me (very diplomatically, I must say).
That’s it. X

By KevinTwining7
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12 comments

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0

Don't feel bad. I follow women too.... not in that stalker kinda way, but dayum I do love watching a nice female butt moving along!

1

I think you being asked this is odd.
My rule of thumb for off the wall comments is ..
What others say to and about me is about them and how I react is about me.
So it seems to me this person sees others(probably men) through a victim/predator world view. You can be grateful they were honest about how they feel so you can be honest as you have been
I don't care for dealing with drama so would play with those that resonate with you.

gigihein Level 8 May 7, 2018

I don’t even know who it was, didn’t pay attention. Saw I had a message. Read it and deleted it. Only then did I think about it. Not worried now, but I did start to angst over it a bit.

1

Sounds like a typical case of "It's not you, its whoever sent the complaint"

5

Dang! I swear, you can't win with some folk. I see nothing wrong with following a bunch of people AND if you are interested in dating, duh!!! Won't they be of the persuasion you are interested in?

I occasionally worry about some of the people I follow thinking I'm tagging around behind them too much. But some people I really enjoy hearing what they have to say and their sense of humor. And when I check a profile and it says here for community, I respect that but it doesn't mean I'm not interested in a friendship. And I sincerely hope if they are concerned by my attention that they will feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it.

BeeHappy Level 9 May 7, 2018

You got it!

Yeah. I am just being me. If I offend someone and they tell me..I would apologize as not my attention. If it is some neurotic bullshit. I may not respond...I can't defend myself about something that isn't real to someone who thinks it is...

5

That doesn't make any sense to me. I like to follow others when they have interesting things to say. Isn't that the point of the feature? To get to know others? I pop on peoples profiles to see what they're posting as well.

Stacey48 Level 8 May 7, 2018

I agree. When someone, male or female, posts or comments something that interests me I quite often check their profiles to get some balance. Some I check because I am interested or attracted to. The profiles are there for the express purpose of perusing them!

4

No need to be defensive. Unless someone personally asks you to unfollow I don't see an issue with following people. I follow tons because I'm interested in what they have to say. For a group of free thinkers there's a lot of sensitivity policing going on around here and I'm not ok with it.

Yes, we seem to be getting many snowflakes & Social Interaction Warriors lately. Stalking & abuse should not be tolerated, but interest is flattering, in a number of ways, & disagreements can be a way to grow. & grow up!

I am sure it is not many.

5

It is awkward. I actually put a sentence at the end of my intro qualifying myself as a non-stalker who was going to follow a bunch of people. smile007.gif

4

it is a dating site

3

Pervert, predator, stalker, did you ask these women's permission before following them with your unwanted attention?

Sheesh, some people are determined to read their own agenda into everything.

Anybody here can follow anybody without permission. Are you being facetious? ?

@BlueWave

Indeed I am. Hence the second half of my comment.

6

I like your perspective ... I’m not here to date, but I feel funny looking at a persons page as I know they will see I looked... I would like to follow more than I do because what I am seeking is intellect, humor and likeminded sensibilities. This sight I think has a struggle to be both... if your looking for a date and I’m not but I follow you will you get the wrong idea?... A woman on here accused me of being a stalker a few days ago only because I responded to what she felt was too many of her comments, I wasn’t even following her.. I actually blocked her, nothing personal but if she thinks I’m a stalker and I think she’s nuts best thing to do is make it so we don’t see each others posts. I’m here for fun, maybe learn something and maybe what I’m good at can help someone else? and to do it all without God involved... that’s it, not dating, not stalking. Perhaps you and I should add some version of this post to our profiles?

Sounds like the same person messaged you both.

@Bierbasstard perhaps it was? Leave that rhetorical as I’m not going to needle her universe from mine. She clearly had issues but none of us are perfect. Same person or not I hope she finds what she wants and is happy, just leave me out of the loop.

@ArdentAtheist

Exactly. Life is too short!

Wow.....at level 7, I think we’d all know by now who and who aren’t the trolls (“predators/stalkers”?).

Who is on the follow patrol and why are they confronting seemingly innocent members?

@BlueWave I don’t think this woman was a troll. I think she is over sensitive to the ways of social media. I have no doubt that in the real world she’s a nice person.

@ArdentAtheist I'm not saying she is a troll. What I'm saying is that, if I received a message (or comments or replies) from you, I would look at your profile. Once I see that you are an active participant here (Level 7), I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are NOT a stalker/troll/predator.

@BlueWave Clarification appreciated… And I don’t think you’re a stalker either smile001.gif

4

Idon't even ask why people follow me. I don't have a problem with it. I like meeting and talking/messaging with members worldwide.

4

Those sound like legitimate reasons to me.

Deb57 Level 8 May 7, 2018
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