Holy book is optional in Australia we got "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under penalty of law for perjury."
With most western democracies having some kind of secular state, I'd assume there would be similar oaths.

As my joke answer, I'd swear with my hand in a bowl of pasta. "Shit there's pasta all over my hand."

This happened to me in regards to carrying out my grandmother's will. I just informed my lawyer that I didn't want to swear an oath to God, and he spoke to the probate judge before I went into his office. The judge just removed all those references. No hand on a Bible or anything like that.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth under penalty of perjury? That would fix it.

“Swearing on the Bible, you understand that shit? They tell you to raise your right hand and put your left hand on the Bible. Does this stuff really matter, which hand? Does God really give a fuck about details like this? Suppose you put your right hand on the Bible and you raise your left hand. Would that count? Or would God say, 'Sorry, wrong hand, try again'? And why does one hand have to be raised? [...] But let's get back to the Bible, America's favorite national theatrical prop.

Suppose the Bible they hand you to swear on is upside down, or backward, or both, and you swear to tell the truth on an upside-down backward Bible. Would that count? Suppose the Bible they hand you is an old Bible and half the pages are missing. Suppose all they have is a Chinese Bible. In an American court. Or a Braille Bible, and you're not blind. Suppose they hand you an upside-down, backward, Chinese, Braille Bible with half the pages missing. At what point does all of this stuff just break down and become just a lot of stupid shit that somebody made up? They fuckin' made it up, folks, it's make-believe! It's make-believe [...] Bible or no Bible, God or no God, if it suits their purposes, people are going to lie in court.”

I’d swear on Carl Sagan’s Demon Haunted World!

I'll only say this: Don't piss the judge off. If you are in an Alabama courtroom, I'd not rock the boat for fear I'd wind up in the jail and the sheriff is the uncle half-brother cousin of the judge.

When they say, "Do you promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth," I like to argue the concept of "truth." What is truth anyway, and can we really know it? And even if we could know the truth, how could we possibly understand the "whole truth." Not sure it would get me anywhere, but it could be fun.

I mentioned in another post that I would ask to be sworn in on a book of laws.

In England you can swear on any religious book, or if you do not beleive then you can just say I solemnly swear to tell the truth etc. Is it really still the case in the US that you must swear on the bible. Even if that is the case I would still refuse on principle.

I would totally vote for the dictionary to swear on. I read it for light reading.

One is not required to swear on a Bible or any holy book to be under oath. I was sworn in as a witness in a criminal case in SC and I did not place my hand on anything. (The same is true of jurors, who are sworn to faithfully execute their civic duty.) If I recall correctly, I was asked: "Do you solemnly swear or affirm to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" Quakers are among the religious groups who affirm rather than swear.

Legally, in the US, you are allowed to affirm, rather than swear, to tell the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and can do so without using any book at all, though comparatively few people know this.

I have had to testify in a couple of malpractice trials as a R.N. . I informed the attorney that I was an atheist. The judge simply stated for the record that I was an atheist ( for the court stenographer ) and had the bailiff ask if I swore to tell the truth , the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Of which I stated that for the record, I do.Then they proceeded with the case. That was in Arkansas and Mississippi . They pretty much have it all covered.

Fortunately, I’ve never had to do that one yet … and it’s concerned me.. I’m not touching some damn bible in order to tell the truth. So how do I convey that to ‘the judge?’ And if I want my testimony to be trusted by a jury, by not touching a bible, would that be gone..?

I’d simply state, “I tell the truth.”

I'd swear on David Seabury's The Art Of Selfishness.

How very funnny! I have never thought of this question. We need to reintroduce the clause " separation of church and state" to the system. In other words, Americans need to revisit the Constitution's First Amendment clause which states that the government shall make no law "respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". As a result, non-believers, should not be forced to take an oath with the bible if you do not believe in the contents. Additionally, why take an oath on the dictionary? You should not have to swear under an oath at all. This has been unconstitutional for a long time. Where are the lawyers?

Good question, I've thought the same thing.

The real issue is simply that you are being asked to attest that you will tell the truth. Do itand move on. Don't create an issue of lesser importance.

Could I use 1984?

This reminds me of george carlin! Its a silly tradition

If I wanted the jury to believe me I would not bring it up. Just go through the motions. If I wanted them to place less weight on my testimony I'd ask for a copy of the Koran.

Should I be placed in that position I would do like John Adams and swear on a book of law.

The last time I was in court they just asked people to raise their right hand and say "I swear or affirm" no Bible was involved.

Often wondered that myself