21 20

I’ll bet there were only like 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.

By Duke
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21 comments

10

Oh come on, didn't you watch History of the World Part 1??

Remi Level 6 May 16, 2018
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The Lord sounds like Trump.

8

grabs popcorn

TheInterlooper Level 7 May 16, 2018
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I'll bring the candy...

I don't see it happening.
Duke is harmless and enjoyable.

Even I know that.

7

I always felt the god of the OT overlooked some really good ideas to base commandments on. For example, instead of that ridiculous adultery one (because there are far worse things to worry about than adultery), I have a better one in mind- thou shalt not act like thine horse's ass. The christian fundies could have really benefitted from that one, as most of them are, well, a horse's ass. Good post.

SpikeTalon Level 8 May 16, 2018
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The adultery thing was of vital importance in the ancient world, because it could influence the line of succession, the very reason that, even well beyond the medieval period, the queen's giving birth was an event attended by enough of the court to ensure that the new royal baby had not been switched or any similar shenanigans pulled.

7

Bring home the bread
Take out the trash
Wash feet every week!

BucketlistBob Level 8 May 16, 2018
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6

Prepare for the wrath that surely commeth!

Clauddvon Level 6 May 16, 2018
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5

I am enjoying my beer thanks. Won't get involved in this one ?

VAL3941 Level 8 May 16, 2018
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4

Wasn't it Constantine's mum ? Moses could have fobbed off his missus ....fucksake he convinced her he wasn't lost for 40 years !!!

Simon1 Level 7 May 16, 2018
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nNice one

4

Wasn't it Constantine's mum ? Moses could have fobbed off his missus ....fucksake he convinced her he wasn't lost for 40 years !!!

Simon1 Level 7 May 16, 2018
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4

Always our fault...i would have only don't kill don't steal

.

gigihein Level 7 May 16, 2018
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3

HA!ha!
I’m passing this on to my fundamentalist son!

Edgeward Level 6 May 16, 2018
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2

Like actually, like there were like, 640 per the Dead Sea Scrolls. Like that was, when Moses joined like, the Republicans, & like wanted to like control, like of everyone's personal behavior. After it was like, condensed to like 10, another should like be added, to refrain from like filling pauses, with such words as "like, you know" & other repetitive discourse annoying language trends. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife without consent of all parties. Thou shalt not kill unless protecting oneself & others. Tho shalt not steal unless its land belonging to another peoples. Blah blah blah.

Countrywoman Level 8 May 17, 2018
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Haaaaahahaha! Thanks for the tip. I claim literary license to use the vernacular of my local people ( or "peeps" ) when expressing myself in written dialogue.

Edited
2

Thou shalt not touch me when I have a headache!

twshield Level 8 May 16, 2018
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1

The late, great George Carlin's "analysis" of "The 10 Commandments" reworked all 10 into just TWO (with an additional one at the end!). Please watch it on YouTube! smile009.gif

Imatheistically Level 5 May 16, 2018
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1

Huh, that's not sexist at all /s

CuriousGeorge Level 3 May 16, 2018
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Well, of course I hope you take into consideration that it's a joke about characters and events that I feel are completely fictitious. Being bothered by the sexism in this would be like being bothered by Disney's "Pocahontas" for not being historically accurate even though it's a cartoon... with a talking raccoon in it.

Having said that, I do apologize to anyone who takes offense to this.

Once you get to know me though, you'll see that I'm really good at offending people.

@Duke Keep trying, Dookie.

@Donotbelieve Ah, shit. I know I'm in trouble when you call me "Dookie" instead of "Dukie". I'm just gonna go ahead and put myself in a timeout now...

@Duke No way! Get your nose outta that corner.

You're a great person. I'm not offended in the least.

@Donotbelieve smile015.gif

@Duke back atcha

1

Must have found some good weed in the desert. Lit a bush on fire and it talked to him......rrrriiigght.

TimBowen Level 4 May 16, 2018
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hides the fact that Moses did not fall to the ground prostrate, but "went over to investigate."
you were never supposed to believe a burning bush was real, see

1

Probably lol, women tend not to grasp type compatibility with vocations.

DZhukovin Level 7 May 16, 2018
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1

Sounds right maybe it was mrs god.

Marine Level 8 May 16, 2018
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