Well first of all the military is rarely a healthy place for body images and that's likely worse for women. Not being a woman, I can't know all the details but I saw it.

Dating has a lot to do with physical attraction, but relationships are more complex than dating.

Many men like heavier women, other men understand relationships and sex are more than what you look like naked.

lol, here's where I'll get some haters...I'm strongly sapiosexual and have been with heavier women who could do some impressive intellectual lifting. The two heavier women I've dated were smart but also liked 10 mile hikes and I've found that many who say they exercise rarely...work out . Hey there's skinny women with fake boobs and six packs abs who do the bare minimum and I'd much prefer the 4'10" 160lb woman w wacky hair who used philosophy books on long hikes to turn me on than a hot ass.

I hope everyone finds what works for them.

BTW confidence is sexy no matter what, know yourself, take responsibility for your own reactions as much as possible (lol and that's REALLY HARD and a never ending struggle) and you'll be a lot sexier no matter what. Good luck.

I find it interesting that the majority of people who have posted about the bias against the overweight and obese are primarily women. And that men are more likely although not of course entirely as a group going to say this: if you are fat you are not taking care of yourself. Women are expected to be decorative in our society, they are expected to be arm candy for the men they are seen with. If they cannot fulfill that role, then they have automatically had one box ticked against them in terms of their social success. There is a great deal of research that indicates that diets fail in at least 90% of instances. So dieting is often a lose-lose situation in that if you lose weight, you often lose control over your weight in the long-term. By that I mean that when you dye it, your body sees that reduction in calories as a threat. The body becomes more efficient at using calories, and therefore it becomes harder to lose weight, and since your body is more efficient at using calories, when you return to a normal pattern of eating, you are likely to gain weight back.

But let's move on from the biology lesson to talk about the psychology or sociology lesson. Fat women learn to hate themselves; and Society is more than happy to join in on that hate. I was fortunate to find a group called The National Association to Advance fat acceptance. NAAFA's position is that fat bias should not be normalized, should not be accepted. Fat people should not tolerate being shamed. They should not tolerate organizations that refuse to let them fit in, either because of bias on an interpersonal basis or bias in terms of an inability to provide facilities and furniture, etc, that meet their needs. I cannot change anyone's perception of me, male or female. But I can tell them that I'm not on Earth to live up to their expectations. I am entitled to go to a doctor and expect to find examination tables that can accommodate me . I am entitled to go to a doctor or a hospital and expect to find an MRI or cat scan machine that can accommodate me. The incidence of obesity in this country is increasing . The medical profession needs to adapt to that rather than simply telling us we don't exist or we shouldn't exist.

When anyone dismisses an entire category of people, such as this missing all fat people out of hand, the statistics would say that they are missing out on a lot of really wonderful people. I know that the pumpkin Pretender in the White House views women as purely decorative. But I would hope that the rest of the men in the country have awoken to the fact that he is an idiot, and his views and philosophies are not something that anyone should emulate. Man, if you can't see yourself with a fat woman, okay. But don't feel entitled to make fun of her or the man that might be with her. Don't feel entitled to tell her that she's a burden on the system. The whole notion of Statistics says that the pooling of risk for insurance purposes means that it evens out in the end. A fat person's impact is offset by that healthy young person who is going to the gym 5 times a week. We're always going to be here. Start looking at us as people, rather than as defective decorations. We are entitled to that level of respect, simply because we are human.

Men tend to like thin women and women tend to like tall men. I will always be short. At least it’s a possibility for some to lose weight.

I will own that I initially judge people based on their appearance, I immediately chastise myself for thinking that way. I'm ashamed that I do that and wish I were more like my dog, he doesn't care what a person looks like he cares only if they are a good person.

Couldn't tell ya. I was considered ugly when I was thin, and am considered ugly when I'm not thin. They'd say it to my face. When I'm out with friends, strangers speak to them and not to me despite my attempts to be personable. Sure I've never been assaulted or even wolf-whistled or catcalled, but being considered either invisible or too ugly to even look at ain't no picnic, either. The only time people's eyes don't slide right off me is when I'm wearing something 'outlandish'.

I had a professor a while back ask the class a question concerning initially judging people. She asked: "What do you immediately think when you see a fat person sitting in a park eating an ice cream cone? Now, what do you initially think when you see a thin person doing the same thing? Why do you think that way?".
That question has stuck with me for decades and pops up in my mind at times, each time it pops up I thank her for posing it. I wish it will pop up more often so I can be less judgemental and critical of others in my mind. I'm getting better at it but I'm still not good enough with it. I know that no one is perfect, but I can be better.

All women are treated with scorn. Not just fat women. The patriarchy and misogynists will always find something with which to attack a woman.

There is a famous book entitled 'The Beauty Myth' by Naomi Wolf which analyses our culture's obsession with female beauty in the context of feminism.

In a nutshell, the goal of attaining ideal beauty is a false goal. By design it is unattainable and trying to attain it is akin to being trapped on a hamster wheel.

Should a woman's beauty tick all the right boxes, most likely she will have developed an eating disorder to get there and will probably be fighting an anxious battle against time and the ageing process too.

Women who sacrifice their time, energy and health chasing the beauty myth are impotent, exhausted and powerless women, which is what the patriarchy wants.

And fat is not a dirty word. It is not an insult. It simply describes a body composition. There is nothing more politically powerful than for a woman to fully accept herself and to call herself beautiful.

Just going to drop this here (I think it's on topic): [agnostic.com]

My mum loved to tell me "You'd be good looking if you lost some weight." I wouldn't care, but she'd spent most of her life overweight. She only got thin when she was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

The notion that your value to society is inversely proportional to your body mass index is thoroughly ingrained at this point. Some even take it to the point of eating disorders - starving themselves to be better people. Fat = lazy may have made some sort of sense when most work was manual and physical. But there are people in sedentary roles now, putting in the hours and the mental effort, being productive and paying their taxes. Often subsidising thin people who chose to retire and live off the state, the day they left education.

Most of the thin people I know are smokers. That's a habit that's both harmful to them and to others around them. Being overweight is nobody else's business unless your size somehow encroaches into their personal space, and even then, it isn't harmful.

A lot of people simply think it's disgusting, and they shouldn't have to look at it (or you, while you're like that.) They look for ways to justify that disgust so that they can openly express it, and bullying you into losing weight (under the guise of being concerned for your health) is the favoured method.

Brilliantly stated!!!

Eloquent.

There are guys out there who like women that are a little heavier. It's the media which portrays the idea that all women are supposed to be anorexic.

My step-aunt—who’s a therapist—told me I’d never find anyone at this weight and if I did he wouldn’t be a nice guy. The pain for that comment has never left me. I feel like as if I were skinny again I’d find a nice guy. At this point I just hope someone will see past the fat and see the real beauty.

My family derided me for being fat and ugly even when I was not even 10 pounds overweight. It was horrible. I've never felt attractive and have always looked kind of plain or even dowdy.

Violent men, including child molesters in my family, told me I should be grateful for the attention, that I was unlovable and no one would ever want me. It made the degradation worse and certainly didn't lessen the physical injuries. The worst was when I was 16 and two men raped me (on threat of death) on New Year's Eve - one was my current boyfriend and the other was a friend of the family and my best friend's fiance. When they were done, one of them told me that I was almost pretty without my glasses on. I cried for days and couldn't face New Year's Eve for decades.

Throughout my life, "you're too ugly to be sexually harassed" was used more than once to throw out any formal complaints I made. Despite, bruises, bleeding wounds and broken bones, no one has ever been charged with assaulting me. Instead, I've been told to stop wasting people's time with complaints.

Now, I have a reasonable income. If this ever happened to my daughter, I would immediately hire a lawyer. There would be justice or there would be revenge. I'm old and I have nothing left to lose.

yeah that is true and really sucks bad. people can also be very desirable to all sorts. the media or hollywood does not need to tell us what is desirable or not,

I have been on steroid therapy which caused me to gain weight and altered my appearance. Did not feel good abou tmyself. Then diagnosed with leukemia, 5years remission I had dramatic weight loss of 50 lbs and looked like a skeleton. Gained 20lbs back to make my drs happy. Need to feel comfortable with your own body.

Isn't it interesting how we are all labeled? I used to be skinny but not now that I'm "OLD". I think perhaps people would say the same thing about older people. Why does assault and rape only apply to the young, thin, beautiful people? It can happen to anyone.

in mexico they are not they are called gordo but then eveybody just is what they are. I agree to put any one down for that or anything is bad. ugly people are treated the same way. if a person is not atractive they are invisable in society. that is not good