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Do you split the bill when you go on a date?

Redcupcoffee 7 May 28
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81 comments

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0

Typically the one who extends the invitation should pay, but if paying separately is mutually agreed upon before the date, that should also be acceptable. That being said, if a man who wants a relationship with me has far more wealth than I do and still wants me to always pay my own way, the opinion I form about him probably won't be all that conducive.

Deb57 Level 8 Nov 19, 2018

I bet not

0

I will always offer to cover the bill, but I will also do what the other person is most comfortable with.

Am I seeing an epee in that profile pic?

@Deb57 Actually, it's a hand and a half bastard sword trainer. I'm learning German longsword fencing.

@speljamr Longsword? 13th/14th century style?

1

1st date when I ASKED THEM out I cover it all we can workout how we pay in the following encounters

See that's a good rule right there. The inviting party should pay for suggested activities. The economy can be rough for some out there lately, but it bloody rude to frame a date around "how is your budget for entertainment this week".

If you invite to dinner or a movie, you should be ready to pony up, man or woman.

Exactly, I always pay for the first time out. From there on i have no problem her paying or splitting.

1

I always go with the intention to pay. I play it by ear and don't put up a fight if she tries to split.

0

Of course.

1

It's better to take turns ... just draw straws to see who goes first.

6

On a first meeting I offer to pay my own tab. In a dating relationship I either contribute towards the bill if he accepts it. If not i will cook very nice meals for him. My last relationship we went out one week and the following week we would stay in and I would cook. It worked well for us.

That's a good idea ?!

Yeah... equal sharing in all or most aspects of work and play is mutually satisfying, isn't it? Nice comfort zone where no one feels indebted to the other.

3

I am willing to, it's been a while since I've been on a date.

3

I offer to pay, but don’t insist.

2

Men always paying is obsolete. I assume that a woman is getting just asmuch out of date asI am, whether that be conversation , entertainment or pleasure. in today's world finances should not be involved .

3

I’m a millennial but reading this makes me feel super old-fashioned. My husband always paid for everything when we were dating. It never occurred to me to pay for anything on our dates. I just thought that’s what men do.

4

I agree that, preferably, who asks should pay, but the recipient should buy the popcorn, or pay for dessert, or for the tip. Offer to pay th next time. Try to reciprocate so as to establish one's independence and consideration for the other person. Reciprocity doesn't have to be financial, if not possible. General rule: Good people do not exploit other people.

Totally agree.

Wonderfully put

The other day on a day trip outing I paid for lunch and she paid for the chocolate milk shake later. Also it was her car so we're even.

4

I'm gay. Generally, my experience, at least in the "gay world", is that the bill is split unless otherwise determined before the date.

That's one benefit of being gay. There's no battle of the sexes.

@Ellatynemouth, Yeah. If I dated a woman it was usually a non-issue to either split the check or, if we kept dating, take turns picking it up.

2

First date, yes. Second date, probably not. Once "dating." Take it as it comes, sometimes yes, sometimes I pay, sometimes, she does. Keep it "even Stevens," when possible without worrying about too much.

3

I always go into assuming I will pay my own

GwenC Level 7 May 28, 2018

That and never order anything I can't afford to pay for even if they're very clear that they're paying.

@PhoebeCat exactly

A healthy mindset going in

@PhoebeCat a good rule of thumb. They could turn into a total asshole then you're stuck. Smart lady doffs imaginary cap

2

Lol you have to love all the bragging that many rich posters are doing.

As for me, I put the decision on my date. If she wishes to pay, she may. If she is short, I pay. If she wishes to split, we do. I never force myself on her. She can always make her own decisions. The way it should be.

2

I always feel embarrassed when a woman offers to pay, even when it's only half the bill. If it is a person I know well, then we may agree to do so sometimes, but I'm still inclined to say I insist on paying for the wine.
I don't expect anything in return, other than, perhaps, a friendly good night kiss on the cheek.

2

If I m not interested, I will let the server know to split the bill.
If she offers to handle the bill, I offer to handle the next bill.

Simple.

Did you know going in after asking for a date that you wouldn't be interested? Douchebag move if you go in cold then decide I'm not interested so pay up bitch.

@Xavier
Your comment was un-necessary and un-useful, a double threat guy. 😉

3

I don't go on dates.

Exactly. No dates, pregnancy only. And never, ever split the pregnancy.

@DZhukovin LOL. ?

@DZhukovin , is that a king Solomon joke?

@Beamdump2020 I certainly did not have that in mind

@DZhukovin ?

2

Sometimes

3

If the topic does not come up, I pay. I grew up where manners were stressed. If the woman offers, then it will depend upon the conversation we have had.

3

depends on our situation at the time

She can pay it back in bitcoin

6

Who asks should expect to pay, though, if the invitee prefers dutch, that is fine... Once dating regularly, dutch, taking turns, or the one with enough income pays, whichever approach works. I like dutch or turns if I really enjoy his company as we can get twice the number of dates that way! (:

I might add. I have had the guy absolutely insist on paying, despite my being able to, only to have him resent it later, or hold it over my head, or demand access to my body (usually a first or second date) because he paid for my dinner. That might explain why some other ladies feel strongly about paying their fair share (or not).

Zster Level 8 May 28, 2018

Exactly! There’s almost always an implied contract when someone gets weird about paying.

One time, after an awkward amount of time dickering in front of the waitress, I turned to her and said, “Make sure to give my bill to me.” You just want to get up and walk out when a completely new person tries to get forceful with you. No matter what it’s about.

Ive always understood body language. If theres a romantic hint and im feeling the same way...then i may ask. Its so easy to understand thats theres something there. Or a friend zone comment. I don't want to make out with a lady thats giving it up because she thinks she has to. Were not kids anymore. Act like an adult.

Exactly this. If I ask, I pay. If Dutch is offered, I'll happily accept. If I am asked, I usually offer to go Dutch, but accept their offer to pay.

2

Depends on the date.

5

Yes, always. Now that I'm married and we share all accounts, whoever has the wallet closest pays lol

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