LadyA, you need not feel broken. Some men and some women are asexual. It is rare and not well known. People fear what they don't understand. You can try to educate them, ignore them, or piss on them (not literally).

Kiddo,
I'm not sure who you're running into out there, but your sexual preferences, or anyone else's, are the business of that individual only. There's other aspects of people that are as, if not more important than this. You're fine just like you are.

Asexuality is just another branch of our sexuality tree. It is so sad that people feel they need to negatively comment on it. Hang in and have confidence that you are exactly who you are meant to be. Sometimes other people suck

You are you, you can't make yourself want something you don't, and you shouldn't be made to feel like you should.

You are not broken. I have never understood why people are so obsessed with what others are or are not doing behind closed doors. Sexuality and how that is expressed is a personal choice. I am sure there are a lot more people that feel the way you do, they just aren't brave enough to admit it.

I'm not asexual, but I have a lot less interest in sex than most men. I get where you're coming from. It seems to be all anyone talks about sometimes, and when you say your not interested, all eyes turn like you just casually mentioned you were an alien. Sex is fine, but damn, there is so much that is way more important.

I think a lot of people are afraid to admit that sex isn't everything. I will be brave and say to the world that sex isn't everything to me.

Then the people you're dealing with aren't open-minded enough. Sex can be great with the right person under the right circumstances, but if someone just doesn't desire it, that's clearly not the right person to approach. Everyone is different and some people just can't accept that. You're certainly not the only one who won't or can't have sex and anyone who truly wants a relationship with -you- needs to accept that as part of you. You're not broken and anyone who makes you feel that way isn't worth giving your heart.

What I don’t understand is why so many individuals feel the need to inject their commentary when they have little or no facts in hand

I had to break up with this last guy becuse he just wanted sex. Sorry, but I don’t want sex to be the core of the relationship. Cuddling will make me happier.

Meh, it doesn't bother me if someone is asexual. However, I don't think my getting into a romantic relationship with one would be healthy for me or for them. There'd be too much incompatibility and too many needs not met for both parties. It's like any other incompatible trait. Not good or bad, just doesn't fit.

Some of you guys make me feel better. The others are why this thread exists.

Honestly some of you are gonna find when you're impotent that you should have paid more attention to other aspects of relationships

Bravo to you for speaking your truth. I am sure you are not the only one who feels this way. I love sex but not with just anyone. I have to have a mind connection and that is also very hard for people to understand. Anyone can just jump into having sex but unless there is that connection for me its just action. I don't need action. Lol

Misogyny and the patriarchy. That's what this is.

There is nothing wrong with you. The way you feel is not uncommon. Perhaps you're asexual.

For me, the way nature has made men and women, and the huge disconnect between the sexes, and the way some men treat sex (the men that I've known anyway) - who treat sex like getting a take-out meal or a burger, disgusts me. It's empty and animalistic.

This is why I am not interested in sex either. But I won't let anyone tell me I'm frigid.

My guess is it has to do with the population density. From what I read, gays make up about 10% while asexuals is only at roughly 1%. It is a relatively new concept for a lot of people and let's hope education from the masses will help quicken the acceptance and understanding. You have my support.

People don't accept partners that aren't interested in , because sexlessness is detrimental to the mind and body. Sex is where men produce more testosterone, women produce more estriadol, and all sorts of other positive reactions happen in the body. It is a reward, complement, etc. to engage in sex, especially if the parties involved typically do not succeed in having sex that is productive to development as a person (ie the person has not experienced the emotional extremes of sex under enough of a period of time. In this respect, sex is like anything else. We get less interested in seeing the same movie for the same reason we get less interested in sex because we mature out of the subjectivity of it.)

Sex is also part of one's base for achieving more and gaining more because it supports one's ability, which is dependent on one's health. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs explains this very well.

Now, is this always the case? No. Not everyone understands how people work and they behave a certain way.

A person has to be able to understand where and what time their ideal people will go to hang out, and then go socialize there.
Society is not a restaurant where a waiter will come to you and ask you what kind of time you will like to have.

A person has to take part in creating that time and be proactive, rather than expecting the slot machine of nature to just spit out one's needs.

Everyone has a different 'libido' level. & tho yours is on one end of the scale there is a whole range of desire. You will have some relationship problems with those that do have an active libido as sex is usually considered part of a relationship, but there are others out there, of both sexes, that do not seek or want sex. There is nothing wrong with you, you are who you are & feel how you feel. Pay no attention to selfish fools that try to belittle you to get what they want. Accept friendship from those that accept you as you are & who knows, someone that matches up with you may come around. Just don't let the haters or manipulative get to you! "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum!" Don't let the bastards grind you down! fm 'The Handmaid's Tale' Margaret Atwood

I think it’s a combination of two things. The strength of the urge to procreate the species and the perceived link between sex and love. We have been to taught to think a certain way about sex and relationships so anything that is not within that box is just impossible for some people to adjust to. Sad but true. It’s nothing wrong with you. You are who are and your partner needs to be able to accept that

I relate. I usually identify somewhere between asexual and demisexual. I don't understand why so many people see an attractive person and immediately want to fuck them. It takes me a long time of knowing and caring about someone to develop that desire.

It's hard to have relationships when you're not nearly as enthused about sex as your partner. I definitely felt that rift in my past relationships. I also feel sex should be valued more by a lot of people. It should be seen as something powerful and deeply intimate, and not trivial or meaningless, as too many people in my eyes treat it. (In retrospect, not better communicating these opinions of mine probably contributed to why those relationships ended how they did.)

For a lot of people, when they feel in love they want to express that feeling sexually. But not everybody expresses their love the same. More people need to understand that there are many nonsexual ways to express romantic love.

I think some people are just asexual, others are on a spectrum of libido that ranges from hardly ever to daily...
If you feel that you don't want need or feel any desire or sexual passion, and that is just how you are wired then, perhaps you need a partner that feels the same way about it.
There are plenty of asexual males too. The absolute worst thing you could do would be to date a hot-blooded male...this simply will not work from a male perspective. But you will find what you are looking for if you look in the right places.

I wish society could separate romantic and sexual interests. There's probably someone out there for you emotionally, who could have their emotional needs met by you (and yours by them) but their physical needs met by someone else.

But no, you're supposed to fall in love with one person, and then have sex with that person and only that person. The two go hand in hand. It's all part of religion's breeding programme.

I think this is becoming more mainstream now, but yes in the past it was really stigmatized.

I run the spectrum. Some couplings I love sex, and other it’s not of interest at all.

As I age I still have sexual desire but it is not as intense as it used to be. A few years ago I came to the opinion that I was better off without sex. In my case this also meant I stopped trying to have a relationship with a "significant other".

It's been a major adjustment. I used to see sex and the effort to have sex as the central theme to life itself. I know that this is the way a lot of people see things. After all, if we all decided we weren't interested in sex anymore, in only a few decades there wouldn't be any people. Wait...I had some argument against not having sex but I can't remember what it was.

In your defense, you are in Kansas. I have had bouts of asexuality, I can tell you it can change, not that it is a bad thing. It will help you focus on your future and give you a better decision process. For years I didn't think about it at all, I never told anyone this. For some reason that has changed now and I don't know why.