Wow, depression is a complicated disease and needs much more research. To say just do the work is equal to ssying suck it up and get over it. This is a dangerous point of view

You are sadly mistaken. Sure, healing takes work. But suicide is not the easy way out. There is no easy way out.

This is written as if you've never experienced real depression. To say that it can be just worked through makes about as much sense as saying someone with a broken leg can just 'work it through.' Depression is a result of an imbalance in chemicals in the brain. Medications can help in a large number of cases -- but not all.

@Cherie44 Terminal illness is acceptable.

"Chemical imbalance" is nothing more than a fancy modern term for "let us sell you more meds that you can get addicted too." When I was young, that was called "suck it up buttercup." Change who you are. Change your surroundings, your decisions and your life and you'll be OK. Too many people turn to the "medical community (aka - big pharma)" instead of looking within and just fixing themselves. Self-loathing is pathetic.

I experience 2 things. One is depressive realism. Just looking and actually acknowledging how fucked up the systems and realities that we normalize are. The other is chemical. I can do the things I normally enjoy, and I essentially don't get or process dopamine or any natural reward chemicals. Getting a hobby, or otherwise changing your behaviour or environment isn't going to fix that when your brain is incapable of responding to it.

@Clauddvon did you know that depression, etc, is a ‘real’ brain disorder? Causes vary, but it is in the brain.

@Freedompath did you know that this diagnosis didn't exist prior to the year 2000 and even then it's only a theory? I believe in and subscribe in the melancholia theory myself - cognitive, not mental....aka stemming from irrational "should" and "musts" leading to inappropriate self-blame, self-pity, or other-pity in times of adversity.

@Clauddvon there are now diagnosis, Nothing is 100%, but even inexact science has theories. If you want, there is much research now on the brain and you can see for yourself what discoveries have been made! Only of late, were brains donated for research. Science can show us a lot more, than speculation.

@Clauddvon in my 25-30 odd years of therapy, my depression never came down to something, as simply as you state. That goes back further than 2000.

I'm pretty sure everyone gets to ask the question, one of the reasons this site exists. And someone who might be contemplating suicide certainly gets to ask the question

I don’t know that ... depression is so frightening, threatening, and to become submerged in it I well know to those who have or will experience then you have others still spewing “ pull you self up “ as of it were so simple, so easy. I think you’re right as you have had to of been there for most to understand...... so can never!!!

@lerlo I apologize but it’s very frustrating to hear someone even elude to it as being cowardly. I was suicidal for many months during the worst of my depression. In my mind, I would have been helping others by killing myself. They wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore. I felt unworthy of love, friendship, etc. I’m eternally grateful I eventually got help and my mind is healthy now. But I remember well that feeling that it would be best for others if I wasn’t around.

@Marcie1974
Thank you for sharing. Back in the 90s my dearest and most loved sister swallowed a sandwich bag of pills. Fortunately, they were able to save her. I love her dearly! Just because someone is loved doesn't mean there isn't a terrible sadness inside.

@Holysocks I’m so glad your sister was saved, I assume she received and is still getting help?

And you are correct about feeling alone and sad even with people around you that love you. It’s devastating

@Marcie1974 you're a strong person for having overcome all of that. I commend you and you have my deepest regard. It's for all the reasons you speak of that I would hope you would try to counsel the people here that think that depression gives you a ticket out of life. For some, depression is treatable and while I stand by my belief that we all get to leave whenever we want, it shouldn't be a forced decision by something that might be turned around. Most decisions made under duress usually aren't good ones.

@lerlo I am proof that there is hope for those that are going through depression and would certainly counsel them on not succumbing to the disease.

It is my understanding that the post is simply asking if it is cowardly. Not that she was necessarily contemplating it. If that is the case, I would certainly reach out.

@Marcie1974 You're right, I was mainly concerned with the replies that seem to imply that depressed people have no option. But, you never know what the motive for the original question was.

@lerlo many times depressed people feel there is no option, fortunately there is plenty of help if one has the courage to seek it out and accept it.

@Josephine "survive suicide"? Look at what you just wrote...

I totally agree

@Kojaksmom I don’t not with depression but yes to a terminal disease with no cure and intractable pain

One of my key triggers for suicide would be a diagnosis of a long drawn out terminal illness, in such a case self euthanizing would be kinder to others than having them suffer for months with me.

@LenHazell53 I agree,

And my apologies for the characteristically wordy nature of my responses, but this is a topic that hits quite close to home with me on several levels. After losing a good friend who functioned in my life as a role model due to not only the success he found and the outrageously positive impact he made on the lives of anyone around him, but also bc he struggled with very similar psychiatric problems to my own (to the extent we even took many of the same meds) I had a very difficult time processing all why’s and what if’s surrounding the event and how if I could have been there more for him things might have turned out differently; but ultimately I’ve realized that while his death was heart wrenching to hear about and accept the reality of, it would be a massive lapse in character and gratitude for his being part of my life for as long as he was to resent or disparage him for ultimately yielding to the insurmountable pressures to stop pressing on with life, against which I’m sure he fought tooth and nail until he got worn down. But I remember him fondly for the way that he lived every day of his life, not the sad circumstances that it concluded with.

@Storybook thanks for that!

It depends on the circumstances - if a doctor told me I had a terminal illness, I would thank her/him and check out on my own terms.

@Palindromeman me too, once the pain got bad. I hope to solve my own issues when the time comes, I was looking more along the lines of depression causing the suicide, mates of mine when I was younger, in recent years children of friends and friends of my own kids, It's hard whe it is poeple you know and they are young and healthy.

@Rugglesby Copy that, my friend. I had a friend in high school who checked out. His name was Damien. I still think of him when the subject comes up. And that's 32 years ago. These things do resonate.

Indeed. But it can also solve every problem that you have. "Screw the rest of the world, I'm outta here." That has some level of appeal to many people.

Fix my terminal cancer.

Fix the problem like Ucranians in Holodomor who ate deceased human bodies in order to live.

I couldn't agree more!

I sincerely hope you are feeling better about yourself and life in general now. Hugs

@Marcie1974 Thank you. As always, life is a work in progress - for everyone, including me. You can never know how another person is feeling. They are their own barometer.

Very good point, good observations

Agreed! I’ve heard so many people say this week that it’s a cowardly move, considering Anthony Bourdain’s recent situation. I think it’s so insensitive when I hear people say they feel no sympathy for suicide victims.

Agreed. I feel sadness for him. At the end of the, suicide is a personal choice. I have no doubts many suicides are the result of mental illness but some are a healthy choice. If pain, of any kind, in your life renders you unhappy and unable to enjoy a quality life. Then think it's an option. However, this life and the connections we make is all we'll ever have and it is ephemeral; not to be taken lightly. Tough topic. I always feel sympathy for those reaching the end of there life no matter the reason.

It's always hardest on those left behind. For my daughter's sake I could never do it without good reason, and first explaining "why" to her.

Yes your right... if you have never been there then it difficult to contribute but I think all of us have our private thoughts

And can be thought of as selfish by those who have too.
I was diagnosed as bi-polar at the age of 11, I have struggled with suicidal tendencies from the age of 14 on a daily basis.
I faced my "demons" years ago and decided, should I ever actually kill myself, It will be organised before hand, so as to be certain of success, with all post-mortem arrangements made first, so as not to burden anyone.
I would never put my family and friends through a bogus and abortive attempt at suicide as that would be cowardly, selfish and attention seeking behaviour of the lowest order.
Having made those decisions, taken responsibility for my own life and death, I cope with my conditions and keep them in check. It is a matter of respect for others and for oneself.

Exactly.

True true. But once you have reached that point, you do not care.

Probably the majority

Depression is chronic pain. Anyone who's lived with chronic pain eventually reaches a point where they're "done" and just can't deal with the destruction of their quality of life any longer.

The other people who "fought so hard" are the selfish ones because they're telling their loved one to endure a life of misery just so they don't have to be sad

Yes!

I'd say mostly false for most people. For those few gor whom it might be true, I don't think they really think the consequences of their actions trhrough.

The mass shooters have a ‘fragmented,’ personality/brain disorder...which would be treatable. Problem is, it is hard to diagnose. And apparently the person in that state of mind, has come to accept it as ‘the norm,’ for him. Even a mission, so to speak! It is still a brain disorder.

Absolutely in agreement here!