25 9

So, I haven't been on here very long, but have seen some interesting posts. Just out of curiosity though, how hard has it been to meet people who think similarly as you? I find it extremely difficult, even though I am as social as they come. Not to mention, it seems difficult to get out and socialize with 2 young children who take up any remaining time after work. I've really noticed the older I've gotten, the harder it is to meet driven and successful people like myself, who think the way I do. Romance seems to have fallen to the wayside. Maybe location has something to do with it?

AnyaNeese 3 Dec 26

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


It is very hard to meet others who think the way that I do. I have two co-workers who are Agnostics like me and the rest of them are not. The sad thing is that the three of us keep our beliefs to ourselves so as to not cause any tensions in the work place. This is the south after all, and the funny thing is that all three of us are African Americans.


I sincerely doubt that it is the location rather it may be that you have become more stable and comfortable with your own ideas and ways with age.I have found that that i do not like the music of the times and definitely the politics and the politically correct way to speak. For myself, I believe in speaking frankly but respectfully my mind without the candy coating. Society has changed and some of it I like and other aspects I frown upon. Due to these changes it has become more difficult to find people that support my way of thinking but I find this to be an asset rather than a disappointment. The Unitarian Universal church is a great place to find people who may think like yourself. It is the only church I know that welcomes atheists and finds them acceptable people.


Being an older atheist in the South definitely makes it harder (speaking for myself). I find it hard to believe in soulmates, and throw in the majority of Trump supporters that tend to control local governments makes it hard to find like minded people.


I’m a member of the Unitarian Universalists of Clearwater. We have members who are free to believe in one god, many gods or no gods. Also many intelligent, intellectual and humanist members. Maybe there is a UU group or Humanist group in your area.


I was in my early 30s with two preschoolers when I found myself alone in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (think Canada isolation, lol). I didn't realize what I was doing, but I took all my sexual energy and put it into raising the kids, going to college full-time, and working whatever I could get. After awhile, I got used to celibacy and the energy helped me succeed at college and brought me a very satisfying career teaching at a local college. My only regret was not being in that situation in my early 20s when my son was 2. After teaching for 18 years, I retired early and found not one day teaching was WORK! Mine may not be your path, but look at every opportunity that is out there, no matter how outrageous, and look at how it would be if you did go there. You may not have much opportunity where you are, but discard the can'ts and shouldn'ts and you'll find the possibilities for fulfillment are endless. Good luck and enjoy the ride 😀


Anya - I've never had an easy time meeting like-minded people. It was better when I lived in Vermont, but since I moved back home to Alabama, like minded people tend to hide a bit in this area. And when it comes to kids, I totally get it. I raised mine by myself. They are now 19 and 18 respectively, but the youngest has down syndrome, and is an eternal child.

Location does have a lot to do with it, but so does day to day life, especially when you have wee ones. And, speaking for myself, I've been hurt enough that I've become a bit of a hermit.

So, glad you are here! I'm always looking for new friends, and hope to count you among them.


I raised a daughter with special needs in Burlington, VT till she was 4-why did you leave VT where Parent to Parent helped me have a social life? I didn't want to leave VT-best state to raise special needs kids.

i only left Vermont to come home to help with an elderly parent. There was also (briefly) an old friend that was a motivator too, but she couldn’t deal with my son, or my daughter, in the long run.
So now, here we are.


I think it's hard to meet someone compatible regardless of religion. And the older we get, the more set in our ways, and the harder. Isn't that why we are all here? lol

Geoff Level 5 Dec 26, 2017

In your situation I would recommend following some successful people on social media and if they happen to be doing an event near you, go! Best way to connect with like minded, successful people.


Of many, one. My workplace discourages sharing opinions on religion. My better half openly shows frustration with my thoughts on the many paths of God. I am ignorant of the existence, or lack thereof, of a cosmic Barney the Dinosaur dancing among the constellations. But I don't see the wisdom disavowing it. I discovered this site last week, and haven't returned to F-book.


I think That if I lived somewhere else than the southern states, it would be easier. I’ve gotten on other dating sites and if you’re not a Christian, most of the women seem to refuse to have anything to do with you. So, it’s probably difficult to date for an agnostic/atheist in a society of thats principally theistic.


hmmm, meeting people who think like I do, close to impossible, meeting a potential romantic interest who thinks like I do, totally im[possible.


I'm not sure where you're looking. I see driven and successful people everywhere I go. As far as "thinking the way I do," nobody thinks the way you do. We're similar, but that's one of the ways in which we can differ significantly... our thought process.


I admit that I haven't truly looked for like-minded people as much as I've just tried to connect with people.


Location makes a difference. Some areas are more liberal than others. I live in Minneapolis, a city with lots of liberal and eccentric people, so I fit right in. Other areas - you have to look harder to find people who think like you. But they are out there.

SKH78 Level 8 Dec 26, 2017

I live in south Texas its god and guns and trump (ugh) here. I feel very much alone. So location definitely. In addition this mythology is so ingrained into our social and government cultures. Its just difficult all around.


There are people on this planet who are not Americans.


I try not to meet people like me. Since I am surrounded by people like me all the time. Life is to short to live in hall of mirrors

I think you must be lucky even if you have one or two like you or similar. I'm sure they are here in Oklahoma, I just have not met any yet.


If I had a nickel for every conversion that I have had with people n 3D that they had almost no idea what I was talking about the, pile would be a mountain. Can't say I can relate to the driven situation, indifferent seems to be my status on most subjects. Passionate about my twins they are the mystery that helps me thrive.


I'm here in the Bible belt also, not all that far from you... And it is very rare to meet other like-minded people here. I feel lucky to have found my way into a well rounded, very intellectual group of similar professionals to work with, who happen to all be Catholics; but nonetheless are respectful of my open atheism. I'm sure this isn't analogous to what you're asking about; but I guess what I'm trying to say is: don't give up... There are people out there like you. They're just few, and far between; and they might identify as religious. Anyway, just keep your eyes open to possibilities.


It is hard to meet like minded people where I live, too, there is a lot of religious people around here so, even the non-believers tend not to be that open either. For me the best thing I ever did is to join the New Democrats and the National Farmers Union both groups are full of non-believing thinking people. You need to realize that the more restriction you put on who you wish to be in a relationship with the more difficult it is to find a comparable person; for example: the restrictions you stated driven and successful. How could a driven person have time for a romantic relationship let alone a successful one? Choosing only successful individuals tells me you value money more than personal interaction. Your observation that it get more difficult as you get older is true; most of the good ones have already been taken and many of those left over have issues that they have not yet dealt with. You would be better off concentrating on the growth and development of your children if you are as you say driven and successful as in being so, you may not have time for a relationship without depriving them of your already limited time.

So here is where I can confidently say you made you made a brash judgment without knowing someone. Nowhere did I mention money in my post. What you stated, is how YOU perceive success; that successful people have money. I perceive success as the ability to manage the various parts of my life in a balanced way to create my desired result. For some that's money, for me it has everything to do with accomplishing what I need and love while maintaining harmony in other areas. It's not an easy task, but at this point in my life, I have been successful in a majority of it, save for a partner who has similar ideals and ability to do the same. Btw, I'm not wealthy by any means but no one has ever had to take care of me since I became an adult. I am self sufficient in that respect and I would never ask for someone else to be wealthy as a partner.

@AnyaNeese , I did not mean to say you were interested in money solely as your measure of success however, being goal driven as you say do you really have time for a partner raising kids and juggling your career let alone a partner that is similarly goal driven?


there's plenty of people on here you can chat too


I didn't start meeting free thinkers until I was looking for other groups, some associated with paganism, now I have friends with whom I can talk about anything and some are Thelemites and others are Gardnerian. I still don't commit or fully associate with those practices but talking with them is another way to open your mind.


It sounds like you have several obstacles or advantages to meeting others-sexual preference, career oriented, and parental responsibilities.Try priorotizing what is important to you Have you checked out Parents Without Partners, - Various sexual orientation groups and aetheist/agnostic groups. Have fun checking them out. Trial and error.


VERY difficult as being religious is the in thing here. I've met a few nonbelievers through Quaker meeting when I attended, sort of bridging my belief phase with non. I also met some nonbelievers when a local secular meetup formed here. There is an atheist assembly in Atlanta, though, like church, that starts on Sunday morning, which is an issue for me being two hours away.

Zster Level 8 Dec 26, 2017

Pretty difficult, at least where I am, to start a conversation with any depth, with random ppl. People are afraid of God, Hell, the unknown.. it may be me, my choice of places to try and cultivate new friends.. I tend to close off within myself, or the internet to find a community of minds to connect with. Which, I mean, is what it is... I'm thankful for it. I'm excited to see sights like this exist. I believe we live in a time of great transition .. we're on the front lines of a new frontier of human consciousness and its expanding, ever so slowly...
24 years ago when I began my journey into asking the big questions, I literally had nobody around me to talk to at all..

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:10718
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.